Sound of Silence
by The Sand Assassin
Summary: His return to being Kudou Shinichi was not everything he had hoped for, not with Ran moving on, a limp and a shattered soul as he struggles with the return to normalcy. And then there's the neighbour with a soft smile slowly battering down his walls. Kaishin / Shinkai /Kaito x Shinichi
1. Within

_Summary: His return to being Kudou Shinichi was not everything he had hoped for, not with Ran moving on, a limp and a shattered soul as he struggles with the return to normalcy. And then there's the neighbour with a soft smile slowly battering down his walls. Kaishin / Shinkai_

 _This story originally started as a one-shot. That was a bust, as a week and a half has gone since I started and the story has already reached 40K. I have decided that 40K ++ might be a tiny bit too long for a one-shot, and it will be easier to edit and keep track of everything posting it bit by bit. There are five chapters planned (and I just started on the last one) of roughly 8K each. Please be patient as I load it up as it needs to go through a thorough editing job. I will be posting once, maybe twice, a week._

 _The idea of the story pretty much came from the fact that I can see into to the apartment of my neighbour from my bed room window (I swear there is only like 5-6 meters across the street) and I might or might not have seen her naked and accidently watched her sleep with the blinders up and the light still on at 4 am, and I have only been living here for a month. Hahaha. I am such a creep (and I don't have the guts to say hello). What was supposed to be crack when I voiced the idea to a friend, turned into something completely different._

 _Special thanks to Addy01 for reading through the text and editing the worst parts, and for Johnny for being a miserable sod for not having the word 'constructive criticism' in his vocabulary. Thanks for all the support. Also thanks to the local BarBarista for supplying me with as much Blondies as I need (a drink consisting of mocca, white chocolate, cinnamon and chili)._

…

 _Hello darkness, my old friend_

 _I've come to talk with you again_

 _Because a vision softly creeping_

 _Left its seeds while I was sleeping_

 _And the vision that was planted in my brain_

 _Still remains_

 _Within the sound of silence_

 ** _Disturbed_**

 **...**

 **Chapter 1: Within**

 **...**

Kudou Shinichi leaned against the hood of the car. His eyes drifted across the open space surrounding the student apartment complex he would be living in for the next few months.

The architects had gone for a simple yet elegant English garden – meticulously kept shrubbery, emerald green _Lolium perenne_ grass and a yellow pathway through the garden to the main entrance with flowers beds on either side – which at the moment was empty as the September chill had long since withered the buds. A fountain of something that resembled a mixture between a baby and a crocodile stood proudly in the middle, and a couple of students sat beneath the shadows by the water laughing at someone's expense.

The housing complex consisted of three separate buildings. They were all built from the same red-bricked stone, however each had different coloured bricks stripped across the middle in order to easily differentiate among them. One had a hideous neon-orange colour, another had a deep, emerald green, and Shinichi's own residence had a purple-blue shade. It had been the least detestable choice.

He glanced up in the direction of the aforementioned apartment he was to live in. It stood proudly in the west corner, with most of the windows facing outwards and into the forest – meaning he would mostly be able to keep his privacy. However, only one of his windows faced towards the garden and the closest complex. Checking it out earlier, he had discovered to his dismay that he had been able to peer into the only apartment facing his. He would have to be careful not to set up his investigation-boards in that location lest his neighbour accidently saw pictures from grisly murder scenes.

"You don't have to do this, Shin-chan," his mother spoke, though her tone was amicable and light, there was undercurrent of concern. He straightened and turned in her direction as she exited the building. Her hair was tied up in a taut pony-tail, making her long, blond hair almost jumped, as if like an excited rabbit with every step she took. She had a smudge of paint on her chin and wore a white painting-suit even though they had not been redecorating.

He shook his head in response, not able to phantom why Yukiko was wearing such clothing unsuited for the occasion – they were only moving his things into this new apartment. When previously asked, she had simply stated that she looked cute like that, and he had refused to follow the line of questions any further.

"I don't need to, but I want to."

A frown etched itself on her forehead, and Shinichi felt a tingle of guilt for making his parents concerned. Very few times in his life had he seen his parents worried over him, and he was afraid they had gotten to the habit of doing so ever since the whole Edogawa Conan affair. It had been fourteen months since the fall of the Black Organization, nine months since Haibara had whipped up an antidote and he had finally been able to return to his life.

However, neither of the victories had come without a price.

Before Yukiko could respond, the door opened again and a tall, dark skinned, young man exited. Dark hair was hidden beneath a familiar SAX-cap, the shadow dancing across the familiar face. Hattori Heiji's features had become sharper in the last 3 and a half years as he grew completely out of puberty. There were still the buoyancy shining in his sea-green eyes, however with a more sombre and maturity lurking within. There was a large silver scar stretching from the jaw till a few millimetres from his nose.

"How many boxes are left?"

Shinichi turned to glance back to the open trunk of the car. If his memory served correct –

"Just one, I'll get it," he picked up the cane resting peacefully against his left leg and stood. He had only taken a few steps before Heiji moved forwards. Shinichi frowned at the gesture. Then realizing the Osakan's intention. Gritting his teeth, Shinichi increased his speed, ignoring the trembling from his leg as he reached the vehicle first – he had been closer to the car. He leaned over to scoop the box of kitchen equipment into his arms, and straightened to turn away with his price –

But the motion was cut short as strong hands grabbed the container, with the intention to pilfer it from his hold. Refusing to yield, Shinichi tightened his grip as he attempted to hug the box against his chest tightly. There was a few seconds of tug and war as the two detectives glared determinately at each other over the package – neither refusing to give up.

The bottom suddenly burst open and the equipment cluttered to the ground as gravity claimed them with an unyielding force, effectively breaking the brewing tension in the air between the two detectives. The subsequent chaos spread across the pavement. A soft curse escaped Heiji, though whether it was in surprise or aggravation over the situation was unknown, before he dropped to the floor to gather the items.

With a sight, Shinichi placed the box down on the floor. He rested the cane against the car and motioned to crouch down, but came to a short as Heiji finally spoke.

"Don't you dare, I ain't picking you up again."

The detective froze, a flash of pain flickered across his face and he tightened his lips in a mixture of guilt and hurt. The Osakan must have seen it, as in the next moment he stood swiftly to grab Shinichi's arm.

"I didn't mean it like that," Hattori spoke softly, remorse reading clearly in his sea-green eyes. "You are not superman, Kudou. You are allowed to take breaks. I saw how your leg trembled after the third trip, so don't dare deny it."

Shinichi lowered his eyes at the concern in his face. He felt a lump accumulating in the back of his throat at the realization that the Osakan detective had spotted it. "So you _were_ putting me on time out earlier."

"Damn sure I did," came the immediate, rushed response, and Shinichi could suddenly not contain the upwards twitching of his lips.

He adored his friends and family, but they had gotten annoyingly protective of him as of late. Sure he had been shot, kidnapped, tortured to an inch of his life and ingested the Apotoxin 4869. But he had survived it relatively intact. He even endured the months of side effects from the antidote that return him to his body.

 _John Watson had survived with a dysfunctional limb and a cane, and so damned well would he._

"While you princesses are having a tea party, let the true hero of this tale save you," Yukiko cut in with a mischievous grin as she was suddenly holding the fully packed box – with all the kitchen equipment miraculously packed in place – and turned to walk back into the building.

Heiji and Shinichi glanced after her in surprise, neither had noticed her picking up the equipment while they had been having their testosterone scowling championship.

"Remind me to never be on her bad side," the Osakan detective commented drily as they watched the women battling against the door.

Shinichi could do nothing but nod in response. He loved his parents, truly, and they had tried being there for him the past few months. However, he could tell they were itching to travel again; to see the world and to be constantly on the move once more. He could not begrudge them it, and had wanted them out so he could take control over his own time.

Leaving the Kudou House had been the only solution he could think of in order to get his point cross.

He turned to face Heiji and patted him on the shoulder with a wry smile. "Lunch is on me today, it's the least I could do."

The Osakan brightened at the prospect of food, and even before the words have left Shinichi's lips, Hattori had already started to sum up the different resturants they had watched on their way to the apartment.

Shinichi let the hum of his friend wash over him as he gazed around the garden anew. Hopefully he would grow to like it here.

…

The first few weeks went by in a blur of settling into the apartment, signing and attending classes, reassuring Ran he was perfectly fine living on the third floor without an elevator and listening to whatever drama had befallen on Sonoko as they met at the library café at least once a week. It was the ease and flow of a life he had imagined he would have had, had he never been Edogawa Conan.

When he was not studying, he was busy helping the police at the crime scenes as a paid consultant. He barely spent any time in his studio aside from sleeping and the occasional meals. He was not even remotely surprised at the number of times his neighbours knocked on his door to ask if it was alright if they could host a party next door, lest the loud music would prompt him to call the police. They never asked him to join them though, and he did not care to do so either. Shinichi barely knew their names.

It was not before two and a half weeks after moving in that he discovered the apartment opposite to his was occupied. From the few glimpses of the inhabitant, he managed to string together a few details. He was about the same age as the detective with dark messy hair, indigo eyes and mostly lived on a diet mainly consisting of instant ramen. On his kitchen table stood several tiny models of airplanes and aircrafts, and Shinichi had seen the man assemble a few first hand.

Though the space between them was too far for Shinichi to see with clarity, he had managed to recognize a few of the more impressive pieces – like the _Cessna 172_ and a _Ryan NYP 'Spirit of St. Luis'_. It was an oddly comforting sight to know his peers were not all obsessed with social media, computer games and so forth.

They had never met face to face – and Shinichi felt rather guilty for spying, however unintentionally, at his neighbour. He had only caught glimpses as he exited the building, where the neighbour sat laughing with a few friends by the fountain, an arm lazily placed around a woman who vaguely reminded Shinichi of Ran – he assumed she was his girlfriend and made no other note of the situation.

…

The snow had already settled for the winter despite it only being early November. It had snowed all day, the whiteness falling around them resembling a snow globe. In a few more days, he predicted that the weather would clear up and the snow would wash away from the rain.

Despite it being only around 9 pm, Shinichi felt exhausted and cold to the bones. The buses from the police station had been delayed for nearly an hour and he had been stranded with a sick business man that sneezed every odd minute. He regretted not accepting the offer of being driven home by Takagi. It was eight by the time he got to the grocer and had not bothered waiting for a second bus as he cut through the park to his apartment.

The bags of grocery made balancing across the ice covered roads a perilous journey, especially when he was already having difficulties keeping himself stable. A few times his cane almost slipped on the ice, and only his quick reactions after years of playing football kept him standing.

His breath came out in a puff of white in the cold air. All he wanted was to go home and read the latest addition of _Detective Samonji_ over a warm bowl of miso soup. However, he got so distracted with the fantasy of his warm apartment and the looming form of the building meeting him in the distance in order to ignore the ache of his left leg, that he failed to see a white spherical form tumbling in his direction until it was a second too late.

He managed to duck just in time, but as his right foot stepped back in order to regain his balance, it suddenly slipped underneath him as the ice was too dicey. There was a second of surprise, before his weak foot collapsed and he went tumbling into the snow-filled gutter on his right. Pain shot through him where he had twisted his hand beneath the ground and the cane. His thigh throbbed in pain.

He clenched his teeth to swallow the pained gasp threatening to escape his lips. He could already feel snow melting where it had managed to sneak in under his clothes. A shiver of cold raked through him as he sat up.

The sound of snow crunching warned him of someone's approach. There was the sound of quick breaths followed by another before a clearly masculine voice cut through the otherwise silent night.

" _Shit_. I didn't see you there, I'm really terribly sorry. Blame _Ahoko_ for dodging."

Shinichi looked up to glance in the direction of his supposed attacker, and was surprised to see the somewhat familiar face of his neighbour. Chocolate brown hair hiding underneath a blue cap, indigo eyes brimming with guilt, and red, flushed cheeks from the cold. There was a flicker of surprise in his face as he spotted the now-snowy form of the detective, and he hurried forwards to help him up.

"Here – let me just –"

Shinichi did not have time to dodge the arms, and honestly he appreciated the abrupt but steady and warm hands as he was once more standing upright on the pavement.

"Don't worry about it," he said swiftly, his left hand stroking his thigh to lessen the throbbing pain. He felt it shake marginally underneath him, and he prayed the foot would be able to hold his weight until he was out from the cold.

"You are the one who started with the snowballs, Kaito. So it's your fault," groused another voice as the owner approached them. The detective glanced in the direction of the newcomer. She wore a yellow winter-cap and a thick dark green winter-coat. She had a frown stretched on her lips and sent Shinichi a guilty expression – clearly communicating that she did not blame Kaito whole-heartedly for this predicament.

"It's fine," he continued to reassure the duo who wore the mirroring features of guilt and concern. The detective looked down in the direction of his scattered grocery, and there was an indention in the snow where he deduced his cane had sunken into. With an inwardly sight, he crouched down slowly in order to reach for the bag, his teeth clenching as his leg pulsated painfully in disapproval.

There was a blurry movement in the corner of his eyes as Kaito started to gather the dropped items. He flashed Shinichi a smile as their eyes met and Shinichi nodded his thanks as the man dropped the groceries back into the bag.

There was a crouching of snow behind them as Aoko strode forward to help. "I'm Nakamori Aoko, and this is Kuroba Kaito," she chattered amicable with another mock frown of a smile in the direction of her boyfriend.

Shinichi realized she was the woman he had seen next to Kaito at numerous occasions. It was nice finally having names to go with the faces, rather than continue calling them _the neighbour and the girlfriend_ mentally in his head.

"I am –"

"Kudou Shinichi," Kaito replied for him, his face a mixture of awe and a certain unnameable emotion lurking underneath. "I've seen you around. It's finally nice to be formally introduced," he continued with a friendly quirk of his lips.

Aoko threw him a surprised look. "You know him? I don't remember –" she suddenly froze, her eyes widening in surprise as she glanced in Shinichi's direction once more with a scrutinizing expression. "You are the –"

" _Aoko_ ," Kaito suddenly hissed in her direction, and the detective would have thought his cheeks flushed darkly had they not already been outside in the cold.

Shinichi lowered his gaze, but not before he saw the guilt – this time for a totally different reason – flashing across Aoko's face, and his stomach clenched in discontent. He did not have to guess twice as to how the sentence would have finished. He had heard the whispers and felt the stares as he wobbled down the street. He was not ashamed of his dysfunctional limb – he had given it up to save the ones he loved, but he could still understand the weariness and the pity that he saw mirrored on people's faces.

He grabbed the remainder of his purchases and stood swiftly, ignoring the protesting left leg in a bout of stubbornness. "I hope you have a nice evening," he managed to say through clenched teeth in what he hoped was a neutral tone before turning away from the couple. He only realized too late that he had forgotten about his cane as he started walking, and only his pride got him through each step without wobbling.

 _"_ _Wait!_ " Kaito called after him, and the crouching of snow was his only warning before a hand grabbed his arm.

He started to flinch away and shot the other man a dark expression, he opened his mouth to tell him not so kindly to release him, but Kaito must have read his intention as he let go, as though he had been seared.

Regret burned in his eyes as he handed Shinichi his forgotten cane with a grim expression. There was a flicker of concern in his eyes that made the detective's stomach clench with discontent again.

There was nothing he disliked more than strangers pitying and feeling sorry for him. He was doing _just fine_. He accepted the offered cane rather forcefully, as unintentional anger filled his chest. Most days he could ignore the looks in his direction, but he'd had enough for today. He was tired, cold, hungry and plain exhausted – it was all gnawing on his patience.

"Kudou –"

"Don't," he gritted out. "I don't want to hear it."

As he turned around, there was a crestfallen look on Kaito's face and hands fluttered nervously in the soft but cold winter breeze as though he yearned to reach out towards Shinichi.

The detective ignored it and continued to walk away briskly with frustration churning in his stomach. Whatever Kaito had intended to say, he did not wish to hear it. They were strangers and so they had neither reason nor right to feel sorry for the detective.

Later that evening after he finally came home, he felt a burning gaze from one of the windows and he vowed to buy curtains the next day in order to preserve his personal space.

…

The bell chimed above his head as he stepped through the door, the sudden noise making him flinch and he leaned his weight heavily on his cane. He loosened the red scarf around his neck and he squinted across the room, trying to locate his friends from the crowd. The walls of the café were painted in a mixture of pink and baby blue with a caricature of a hare with a rather comical hat sipping on a large teacup drawn on the wall.

He ignored the illogical painting as he saw Ran waving to him from her locale, and made his way towards her. Around a table by the corner sat Sonoko, Ran and Sera. He quirked his lips upwards and he nodded in acknowledgment to their greetings before slipping onto the offered seat, his walking stick resting against the armchair.

Inwardly, his stomach dropped at the realization that this would be another 'girl's day out' with a lot of gossip and resigned to it without complaint.

"Hey, Shinichi," Ran leaned over her armchair to press her chin against his in greeting. The scent of crisp peony, osmanthus and amber washed over him. The _2002 Lanvin Éclat d'Arpège_ , his mind supplied a second later. A popular perfume amongst the Japanese female population for its sweet fragrance without being appalling to everyone else. Typical of Ran to choose something that would not offend.

"It's been a while, I'm glad you came."

An eyebrow twitched upwards. "It's only been a week since last time."

She pursed her lips as she straightened in her chair to shoot him a disapproving look. "A _whole_ week is longer than it should be to see my best friend."

"Hey," Sonoko looked up from where she was stirring a cup of tea with a yellow flower design, a frown stretched across her forehead. "I thought I was your best friend."

Shinichi glanced between them warily, and on her corner of the table Sera was grinning in amusement. Ran's lip quivered for a second in indecision, her eyes darted between the two in hesitation, not wanting to step on anyone's toes.

"Don't worry," Sera decided to take pity on them. "You are perfectly capable of having more than one best friend, right Kudou-kun?"

The female detective's smile was almost blindingly in the direction of Shinichi, and he suddenly got the foreboding feeling he owned Sera a favour.

Ran looked relieved, and Sonoko only scoffed in response.

"Whatever, let's move on to the next order of business," she continued, all the typical chatter of 'how have you been doing' and so forth already finished between the three long before he had arrived, and he was secretly pleased to be running late for once.

"What are we going to do for Sera-chan's birthday party next month?"

Sera flushed at being the centre of attention, and she scratched her cheek as her eyes glued to the ceiling. "You don't have to –"

"Of course we do," Ran interjected, her eyes brimming with excitement and affection as she watched her friend. "It's something we always do to everyone we know. Birthdays are something that should be celebrate."

Shinichi let the voices wash over him as they continued their discussion – they neither needed nor desired his contribution. Instead, his eyes gazed over the coffee menu before eventually his eyes slid towards the exit to observe any suspicious characters.

 _Bad habits die hard and all that_.

He had been correct in his assumption that the snow would melt away as it had done so only three days later. He had not seen Kaito and Aoko again, except for a few glances in the courtyard and from within the apartment. He had ended up not buying any curtains, feeling rather foolish the next day from his ill-mannered reaction to the whole ordeal.

Getting pity from strangers was never an ideal situation and was a blow to his pride, however he just had to get used to and live with it. He wanted to apologise, however he'd had neither the time nor opportunity to do so and the idea had fallen to the back on his mind as the days continued on.

He discovered something new about his neighbour only yesterday, when there had suddenly been a large 'boom' followed by the howling of fire alarms from the adjacent building. Shinichi had woken abruptly from where he had been slumbering on his coach in half panic and hurried to the window to take stock of the damage.

Only to come to a shock when there was no destruction or fire except for smoke fuming out from a familiar apartment. On further inspection, he realized the loud noise came from that direction, and his stomach had clenched in worry as he fished up his phone from his pocket. It was then that the situation truly settled in, and he discovered the true source of the _'boom'_. A purple goo covered every available space within the studio, and when he squinted, he noticed a figure moving within.

He had been worried at first, but when the form did nothing more sinister than opening the window to let the smoke out, he relaxed, glad that no one had been hurt in the massive-gloop explosion.

He only learned the morning after from the gossip of someone he stepped past in the hallway, that Kuroba Kaito had miscalculated a project for his engineering module. Apparently he had been trying to combine his love for magic and theatrics for the assignment.

Shinichi shook his head slightly at the entire ridicule situation. Kuroba Kaito was certainly one eccentric duck.

He was stirred from his thoughts as Ran elbowed him in the side. He blinked, and turned in her direction with a mock frown and a complaint on his lips, but came to an abrupt stop at the concerned expression on her face. Her eyes darted to the table and back up at him in a subtle hint and curiosity mixed with the worry.

He followed her gaze and it only took him a second to realize what had brought forth the sudden fretfulness from Ran. A large mug of coffee had been placed in front of him without him noticing – bless Ran for ordering for him before he arrived.

Shinichi wrapped his hands around the porcelain, feeling the warmth biting into his fingers tips and he mouthed a _'thank you'_ in her direction with a fluttering heart at the subsequent warm smile he got in return. Ever since they had been little, everyone had assumed they would be a couple and get married one day. An idea they had both been led to believe was an obvious choice.

Perhaps that would still be the case if he had never been Edogawa Conan. In Shinichi's absence, Ran had fallen out of love with him and had developed feelings for someone else. His heart still took that one extra jump whenever they were close, ten over years of feelings did not just dissolve overnight. They went out for a few weeks after he came back – but he could tell Ran's heart had not been in it, and he did not know whether she had gone into the relationship out of pity or simply because it had been expected of her.

The breakup had been mutual as Shinichi had no desire to stand in the way of who Ran truly wanted to be with. He would do anything in the world to keep her happy and content.

He could see how much Ran loved someone else in the way she gazed at Sera as the female detective spoke – all flashing smiles and arms waving as she painted a vivid picture of her story. Sera would be great for Ran, if only he could tell if she reciprocated his childhood friend's feelings. However, for now, Ran was resigned to dream from afar, just as he was.

"Hey Shinichi?"

He snapped out of his thoughts to glance in the direction of Sonoko. "Hmh?" he responded absentminded as he took a sip of his coffee.

"Aren't you living at the _Kyanpasu_ campus?"

He nodded in response, but could not vocal his affirmation before Sonoko turned to regard Sera with a giddy expression.

"Isn't that where – that – erh – you know –"

Sera stared at her in amusement for only a moment, before clarifying the Suzuki heiress's incoherence to the rest. "Nakamori Aoko is in my study group, and her –"

"You know her?" Shinichi blurted out in surprise, now that he was thinking it through, the name sounded familiar.

She blinked at him for only a moment, before a gurgling what resembled a mixture between laughter and coughing escaped her lips. Incredulity flashed in her eyes, and Shinichi got the distinct feeling he was missing out on something important.

Ran came to his rescue as she elbowed him again, an amused twist to her lips as she explained. "Aoko is Nakamori Ginzo's daughter, we met her at a heist a while back."

Sonoko frowned, her eyes darting between the three as though some secret was being hidden from her – and with due cause. "But Shinichi just came back. He's never been to a KID heist."

Ran flushed, her eyes lowered at the accidental slip, and they darted in the direction of Shinichi a moment later with an apologetic look. He did not have the heart to chid her, instead he reached out and pressed his fingers into her neck as they shared a soft expression to assure her he forgave her.

In the corner of his eyes, he noticed Sera looking away, and a quirk twitched on his lips.

"Yeah, I know – I meant you, me and Sera," Ran hurried to correct, picking up a biscuit in order to fill her mouth lest she put her foot in her mouth once more. Sonoko was the only person among their group who knew Edogawa Conan had been Shinichi. Sera had stumbled over the truth on her own – she was a known detective for a reason.

The conversation drifted over to a different, safer topic as Sera had deliberately changed it, He settled back more comfortable into his seat and enjoyed the drifting of chatter that waved through him as he sipped on his coffee again. In the background, a popular k-pop music floated through the café from hidden loudspeakers.

…

It had been a cold day; the kind of cold where you could smell the snow in the air. He had only bothered with a scarf when he left his apartment that morning, and regretted not bringing mittens. The snow started to fall as the friends continued chatting for another hour. Sonoko seemed displeased by the display, but nevertheless started planning a skiing trip during the holiday in a few weeks. There had been an awkward moment as the heiress had turned to Shinichi.

He had only waved his hand as told them he would be too busy with cases before she could invite him. His stomach clenched at the realization that a sport he had enjoyed so profoundly in the past, would never be the same in his new state. Last year, he had been far too preoccupied to even consider extreme sport – and football was notwithstanding.

They packed up not a long while after that, and the detective was grateful as the lull of normalcy – though comfortable, was starting to feel draining. He walked to the train station with his friends, however they eventually drifted away to catch their own routes. He waved goodbye to Ran the last, and she gave him a hug and forced a promise to behave and not to do anything foolish till their next meeting.

Deep down he imagined she would never stop being worried about him and cease being the older sibling she had been to him for over two years. He did not fault her for it, the entire spectacle had been difficult for them both.

The train was crowded with students, business men and tourists. The movement of people were in a constant push and pull as people entered and exited the cart. Every available spot was occupied by one person too many. Shinichi ended up having to stand, clutching his free hand around a yellow metal pole in case he lost his balance as someone brushed against his back. A shiver ran down his spine unpleasantly and he had to take controlled breaths to subdue the paranoid tendencies swimming in his head.

In front of him, a school girl of maybe sixteen or seventeen peered at him from her seat. She had mousy brown hair and wore far too much mascara for his taste. Her clothes, though in the normal European-styled naval uniform popular in Japanese high schools, lay snug around her chest and her skirt was two inches too short. She had a badge on her vest, however he could not read it from his position.

There was a certain glint in her eye that told the detective that she was nothing but bad news. A fact that became reality a second later, as she edged closer to him so only the edge of her rear still occupied her chair.

"Do you want my seat?" she murmured, however the high-pitched tone still reached his locale audibly.

He only shook his head faintly, his eyes glued to the reflection of the window; the background was pitch-black due to the underground tunnels. He could clearly tell she had only offered to give up the seat in order to strike up a conversation.

"How did you hurt your leg?" she tried again, and this time he could hear the hint of interest in her tone. Not in his story, but rather in whatever she found attractive with his stoic demeanour. "War?" she continued when it was clear he had no intention of responding.

His lips quirked upwards involuntarily, and he quickly stifled the reaction as he met her gaze. "Something like that," he responded after a second, hoping she would recognize his disinterest and leave him be.

She must have, as she said nothing further, however her eyes never left his form as the murmur of the crowd were the only audible thing in the small train-carriage.

Suddenly, Shinichi felt something brush against his clothing, and for a second he thought the man behind him had simply bumped into him. Nothing else stirred in the room, and it took him only a millisecond longer before he reached out to grasp the withdrawing arm.

The hand froze, and Shinichi only got a glimpse of a surprised, male teenager, before a foot collided with his weak left-leg, sending a piercing spike through it. He would have wobbled over had he not grasping at the pickpocket. The school girl let out a string of swear words as her plan had failed to loosen his grip on her companion.

He yanked the thief's arm forward, and he had no choice but to stumble from the momentum, allowing Shinichi to push the arm up against the teen's back to keep him immobilized. The low groan escaping the felon's throat made the detective's lips quirk upwards. _They had believed a handicapped person would be an easy victim – he would prove them wrong._

The school girl crouched on her seat, a foot pushing upwards to kick Shinichi in the face. Had he not been used to dodging Ran's temperaments, he would not have recognized the tell-tale signs of the tension in her feet. Before the kick could connect with his face, he used his stick to parry the motion, pushing her limb down with the curved handle on his cane.

Her breath came out in sharp wheezes as her eyes glowed with surprise and horror. Her mouth gaped open with a stuttering, "Wh-who ar-are you?" Though her body was rigid with a flight or fight response, she seemed unwilling to move as his gaze petrified her to the seat.

Adrenaline flooded through Shinichi's system, making his fingertips tingle and aching with the desire to move. The crowd around him had subconsciously given him enough space to move around, and he could hear the whispers of awe and the flashes from mobile phones as someone took pictures of the scene.

There was a sudden warm presence behind him, and in his state of mind he almost shot around to floor the intruder with his cane. Before that could happen, a familiar voice spoke practically into his ear with a carefully neutral tone lest he spooked the detective.

"Need any help? Not that you need it, but I got some rope you can use."

Shinichi turned his head in the direction of the voice to meet a pair of intense indigo eyes. Kuroba Kaito's lips twitched upwards in a friendly smile as he offered a bundle of multi-coloured scarfs that could be used to tie someone down temporarily.

The fight drained out of Shinichi at the sight, and his breathing returned to normal as he nodded in thanks. Before he had any chance to accept them or loosened his grip on the pickpocket, Kaito had already moved around and start tying up thief's arms with quick, practiced fingers.

They both made the mistake of taking their attention off the girl in the school uniform, as she sneered before kicking Shinichi in the chest. He deflated, but managed to grab a hold of her foot. The sudden motion sent him staggering backwards and his leg trembled in protest – and to his horror, it collapsed a second later.

He would have dragged the girl to the floor with him, had Kaito not grabbed him around the waist and shoulder. There was a sharp exhale next to his ear that sent a surprised shiver down his spine – but rather than the paranoia of someone intending to harm him, Shinchi, surprisingly relaxed. Kaito's chest was warm against his back and the odd embrace felt somewhat comforting.

"Are you alright?" breathed the man as he steadied Shinichi, the words coming in warm puffs of breaths that made the hair on the back of the detective's neck tingle.

All he could do was to nod, his vocal cords fail to function at that moment. He was still clutching the girl's foot, and she had slid down the seat as a result from the abrupt movements. The fright had subsided in her eyes, and she just looked angry as she glowered at them.

"Who the fuck are you?" she groused out, her eyes flickering around in order to find a way to escape. However, the tension in her clenched jaw indicated that her resolve had subsided and with her accomplice neutralized, she had accepted the concluding capture now that there were two against one.

"This is Kudou Shinichi," Kaito replied as he finally withdrew his arm as he decided Shinichi was steady enough to stand on his own. "A war hero," his eyes danced with mirth as his eyes darted towards the detective, a playful smile flickering in the corner of his mouth.

He thinned his lips, but did not correct the assumption.

The last of the fight drained out of the girl and she muttered " _Typical_ ," as though she had only simply made a tactical error on who to victimize.

Shinichi felt as though he should be angrier at the knowledge he had been picked merely out of the assumption that he was a dysfunctional individual and therefore, an easy mark. Instead, he felt drained and just a tiny bit satisfied over the fact he had been able to prove them wrong. The teens would not make the same mistake again after this.

By the time the train stopped at the next station, he had received many a pat on the shoulder and a chorus of ' _well done'_. He felt slightly queasy at the knowledge they mostly cheered him on so due to his disability, however could not bring himself to be any gloomier at the revelation, especially when Kuroba Kaito was an ever present comfort by his side as they escorted the pickpocketing criminals out of the train.

They easily flagged down a police officer who prowled the station as he had just gotten off his shift. The rest of it went smoothly and instead of hitching a ride to the station, Shinichi promised to come by the next day to file a report as he was recognized.

It was not before they were back on the train forty-eight minutes later that he remembered to voice his gratitude.

"Thanks a lot, truly. If you hadn't been there, they would have gotten away."

Kaito looked at him in surprise where he stood over the detective – he had opted to let Shinichi have the seat. Normally he would have complained, but he was drained from the long day and his leg was still throbbing where the girl's foot had connected. The pain was more pronounced now that the rush of adrenaline had subsided. He had been stroking the sore spot absentmindedly for the last half an hour, and he ached with the need take a _Vicodin_ to subdue the pain to a more moderate and tolerable level.

It would have to wait till he reached home as he did not have a habit of bringing the small capsules with him lest he be tempting to pop them like candy. Sherlock Holmes might have been using recreational drugs from time to time, but Shinichi had no intention of becoming dependent on painkillers and having his skills impaired.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. You had the situation perfectly under control It was rather awesome watching the gullible kids tumble against a force of nature such as yourself," Kaito responded with a grin, reverence flashing in his eyes.

Shinichi was stuck with the urge to both roll and lower his eyes at the embroidered compliment. He just managed not to snort in disbelief as he replied, "Nevertheless, thank you Kuroba."

Kaito's eyes softened in response and he only gave a tip of his head in acknowledgement.

"Do you have a habit of carrying items that can be used to tie people up?" He asked, wanting the conversation to continue, and it had been something he had been wondering for a while. There had been far more multi-coloured scarves than any sane person could have any use for.

To his surprise, Kaito flushed a deep crimson which had nothing to do with the cold weather. His lips quirked upwards in a sharp grin, and it only took Shinichi a moment longer to realize his mistake.

"On second thought, don't answer that," he mumbled out, hoping the flashing lights from the wagon hid the blush that threatened to creep up from his neck.

"If you want to really know, I use them in my magic tricks. I always keep trinkets with me in case an opportunistic situation shows up, I never pass them by," came the reply as he took pity on the detective, his eyes glittering with mischief.

Shinichi looked at him in surprise, he had never considered that his neighbour was a magician. But now that it had been pointed out to him, the tell-tale signs of Kaito's rough but dexterous fingers could have been accumulated from years of either building something or from performing magic tricks were obvious. There was a noticeable black stain on Kaito's collar indicating he had been tinkering with something not long ago.

Not really knowing what to respond to that, he aired the second question that he had also been wondering about. "So that explosion in your –"

The magician did not look remotely embarrassed as a grin stretched across his lips. "Just a slight calibration mistake. It's prone to happen."

Shinichi lifted an eyebrow, not sure if he was teasing or being serious. "Huh-uh. And that happens all the time I presume?"

Kaito only shrugged. "No success without some failures in the progress. Wouldn't be fun without it otherwise."

The detective shook his head, unsure whether he was amused by the whole conversation. For some reason, he got a sense of déjà vu. _Two crazy inventors as his neighbours? What were the chances for that to happen?_

They got off when the train arrived at their station. Immediately, the biting winter air stung their nostrils. The snow had not stopped falling. The streets had not been cleared yet, and so their steps were mingled with the countless others that had taken the same route.

Slowly, as they made their way to their campus, Shinichi found himself leaning more and more weight on his cane as exhaustion settled in his physique.

"Have you gotten your apartment cleaned?"

Kaito's breath came out in puffs of white. He lifted his collar to fend of the cold, and a few snowflakes were stuck on his eyelashes as he glanced in the direction of the detective with a buoyant grin. "Of course, I don't use materials that'll stain anything. Everything is washable with the right products."

Shinichi eyed him warily, almost afraid to voice his questions "And what exactly concoction would remove your purple gloop?"

The magician cocked his head, observing the detective with a thoughtful expression for a moment, before a challenge flashed in his eyes. "Why don't you try guessing?"

Shinichi frowned, his lips thinned as he scrutinized the man carefully. Kaito might act like a clown, but from what he had seen, he was certainly a crafty and, possibly, a certifiable genius. The detective had not had many chances to observe the magician, however his chest fluttered at the silent dare.

He grabbed Kaito's arm to stop his advancement, and the magician turned to face him with surprised but pleased expression as he stopped in his tracks. The street lamp underneath basked them in artificial light, giving Shinichi the chance to peer closer.

Kaito had noticeable bags underneath his eyes, a clear indication of a habit of sleepless night. His nose had a chink as though it had been broken once or twice and mostly left to its imperfection. There were dimples forming on his chins as he was disposed to smiling. The tip of his left ear was chipped as though someone had grazed it with a knife or a bullet.

Shinichi let his hand trail down Kaito's arm, and the magician stilled underneath his fingertips. The detective turned Kaito's palm and lifted it to his face. There was a purplish-black substance underneath his nails and Shinichi took a closer sniff. It smelled like liquorice.

He dropped the hand a second later, took a step back and declared. "Orange juice ad maple syrup."

Kaito blinked in surprise, his lips parted in shock as he glanced at his palm and then back to the detective. "How did you –"

Shinichi's lips quirked upwards and continued walking, leaving the magician to follow in his footsteps. "By observing," he replied simply. He had noticed a distinctive yellowness between the folder of Kaito's ear where he had tried to scrub himself clean.

The magician stepped forward to keep up with Shinichi's pace, his eyes shining with awe. "That was awesome. Remind me to show you one of my magic tricks later so we can be even."

He could not stop the grin from stretching his lips this time. "Think you can fool my senses, Kuroba?" he replied with a teasing tone.

Kaito hummed in reply, mischief dancing in his eyes. "I'll certainly give it a try."

The walk to campus felt shorter than usual, and sooner than he would have liked, they arrived to Shinichi's building. He protested at being followed to the door, but Kaito insisted, regardless of the fact that he only lived across the yard.

"Hey, Kuroba," Shinichi called after him as the magician turned to leave after bidding adieu. Kaito turned to face him once more with a curious gaze. "About the other day, I'm sorry –"

"Don't worry about it," Kaito cut in, waving a hand as if to deflect the apology. "You have nothing to apologies for, I should have seen where I was aiming," he frowned, regret clear in his tone. "I'm really sorry –"

Shinichi could not supress the urge to roll his eyes. They were just going in circles, "You didn't actually hit me with it."

That made the magician still as he blinked owlishly. "I didn't?" His eyes flickered down to the cane for a second, and Shinichi's stomach clenched suddenly. So far that Kaito had ignored its presence and he had felt as though nothing was amiss between them.

He lowered his eyes, the previously gleefulness washed away like snow in a heavy rain cloud. When the silence vibrated painfully over them as Shinichi did not know how to respond, Kaito twitched in restlessness. He opened his mouth once, presumable to apologies again, however stopped as something unreadable mixed with pain flashed across his face.

"Well – Goodnight, Kudou."

The moment the magician turned away, Shinichi felt a stinging throb in his heart – he had once more ruined the atmosphere. It seemed like a habit around Kaito. Deciding to rectify the situation, he crouched down on the ground – ignoring the ache from his leg as he did so. He scooped up a handful of snow.

The snowball hit Kaito square in the back, who froze in surprise as he turned to face the detective again, his mouth hanging open, flabbergasted.

"Now we are even," Shinichi's grin did not feel forced as he spoke.

There was another moment of stunned silence, as the magician had clearly not expected a retaliation as a rebuke. A look of pleasant surprise and glee flickered across his eyes before a large smile stretched across his lips.

"Seems fair to me."

The detective felt rather foolish as they grinned to each other as though they had reverted back to childhood – or in Shinichi's case, his third take. The air was clearer between them as they parted ways for real this time. He did not realize that his leg had stopped throbbing, and instead only ached marginally at the exhaustion. He also could not remember the last time he had grinned like this, and he felt lighter than he had been in a long time.

When Shinichi glanced out the window later that evening, Kaito waved at him rather eccentrically from his apartment. It made him shake his head again and a smile blossomed unnoticed on the detective's lips.

...

 _ **TBC**_


	2. Touched

**Two things, first I apparently don't know how to count. There are 6 chapters not 5. Secondly, it has been pointed out to me by** ** _ShiraYuki_** **that** ** _Kappei Yamaguchi_** (the Saiyuu/voice actor of both Kaito and Shinichi) **has a version of this song** ** _Sound of Silence_** **on youtube where he sings it in Japanese. Its absolutely gorgeous and I recommend you checking it out! Thank you so much to** ** _ShiraYuki_** **for telling me this, and isn't that a funny coincidence? I didn't know! Haha.**

 **Special thanks to the amazing Addy01 for being a champ editing this chapter.**

 **Ops, next chapter might take a little longer than a week to get up as I'm currently writing on an exam essay. Thank you for your patience and understanding.**

 **Please enjoy!  
**

 _…_

 _In restless dreams I walked alone_

 _Narrow streets of cobblestone_

 _'Neath the halo of a street lamp_

 _I turned my collar to the cold and damp_

 _When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light_

 _That split the night_

 _And touched the sound of silence_

 ** _Disturbed_**

 ** _…_**

 ** _Chapter 2: Touched_**

…

The room was filled with police officers, forensic analysts and eyewitnesses. It was a large room with a sophisticated chandelier hanging from the ceiling. The reflected light shone seemingly in a disarray of rainbow colours, but as Shinichi peered closer, he could see the distinctive sparkle of grey and white within the gems themselves.

The hostess lay motionless underneath the chandelier where she had fallen from the balcony that was overlooking the celebratory party. It had been organised for her husband's recent promotion.

"What are you looking at?" Chiba asked. Shinichi almost jumped in surprise, having not heard his approach. The junior investigator squinted in the same direction as the consultant with an expectant though curious expression – as if he could find the clue that was only visible to the prodigious detective if he stared long enough. "Does it have anything to do with the murder –"

"People usually have a misconception that diamonds sparkle like a rainbow, but they don't – " Shinichi cut in, having expected that question, his voice low and patient. "They do sparkle, but in a more grey hue. If a diamond sparkles in the colours of the rainbow within the gem itself, it's most likely a fake."

Chiba frowned, pressing his lips together as he eyed the dozens of tiny gems above their heads for a long while, and Shinichi could almost hear the grinding of wheels as Chiba processed what he had just learnt and he observed them silently with a scrutinizing gaze.

"So they are –"

"Undoubtedly real. The Tanifuji come from old money," he quickly interrupted as he could already see that the investigator had gotten to the wrong conclusion. Chiba's face clearly displayed a dumbfounded but impressed expression as he looked between the detective and the chandelier.

"That's impressive, Kudou-san," Chiba breathed out his awe." If you so knowledgeable about gems, why didn't you ever go against _Kaitou KID_?"

Shinichi only raised an eyebrow at the question, and it dawned to the junior inspector a moment later exactly what he had asked Shinichi. There was a flush on his cheeks as his eyes darted wildly in the hope of finding an escape from the sudden awkward situation.

When he couldn't, Chiba cleared his throat. "I meant –"

"Don't worry about it, Junior Inspector Chiba," he responded with a friendly smile, which he hoped would deter Chiba from turning incoherent in his embarrassed state – it was common knowledge he had been fighting against an international crime syndicate during the infamous moonlight magician's most active crime sprees. Now a days, the thief only surfaced to expose any fake artworks that appeared in Japan. Although Shinichi did not know why the thief had suddenly stopped his thieving ways, he assumed that Kaitou KID had found whatever he had been searching for.

"I don't particularly think I'd be much use running after a thief in my current predicament."

Chiba flushed darker, but he never got to voice his stuttering apology as the phone in Shinichi's pocket started to vibrate.

Shinichi fished it out and excused himself, pressing the cellphone to his ear as he walked away to gain some resembles of privacy. He was not able to voice a greeting, as the caller had blurted out a string of incoherent sentences as soon as he picked up the call.

"Could you repeat that?"

There was a short silence from the other end and Shinichi could hear the caller taking a deep breath. When they spoke again, the words were still rushed. However, Shinichi could now recognize the familiar voice of Mouri Ran.

"It's a disaster, Shinichi. Sonoko is blowing it out of proportions with her planning, and I know with certainty that Masumi only wanted her closest friends. And now the venue has been relocated and Sonoko has been interviewing several chefs and –"

"Ran," he interrupted, even his infamous brain was not able to keep up with her, not when she spoke without period breaks. "First, deep breaths. Then please elaborate and I'll see what I can do to help."

She took a deep breath, and he could clearly hear how much calmer she was when she spoke again. "I'm talking about Sera Masumi's birthday party next week."

He blinked. He had forgotten about that completely, before sighing miserably at the prospect of it, "I'll talk to Sonoko about it." He was sure he would somehow owe the heiress a favour for simply asking her to respect Sera's wishes.

The soft _thank you_ he got in response sent his heart fluttering with affection, before he quickly squashed it down. He needed to get over his romantic feelings for his childhood friend. Pining over her would do no one any good.

"Hey, Shinichi?" she spoke with a hopeful tone, and he knew immediately he would agree to whatever question she pose. His mind and heart was not even remotely in synch with each other. "Would you go shopping with me on Saturday to find an outfit for the party?"

Shinichi pinched the bridge of his nose. "Ran –"

"Please," she begged, urgency and desperation laced her tone. "Sonoko isn't as half as good as you about colour combinations and knowing what will fit my stature. I want everything to be perfect."

He blinked, his mouth suddenly turning dry. He regretted that one time he had boasted how his deduction skills was useful if any every day scenario – including shopping. He licked his lips slowly, letting the seconds tick by, even though he knew he would relent to her wishes in the end. "I'll see if I have any spare time on Saturday –"

"Thank you, thank you" she breathed her gratitude and relief into the phone, and he could imagine the bright smile on her face and the happiness dancing in her eyes.

" – and are you accusing me of being gay?"

Just saying the teasing sentence was worth enough. The line turned completely silent for a full moment, before Ran responded with a choked chortle.

"If that was the case, we would have been one odd couple."

He hummed in affirmation, and a smile curled on his lips.

"Kudou-kun?"

Shinichi's eyes darted to the side as Megure stepped into the room. "I have to go, I'll call you back later Ran. And remember, deep breaths –" he slipped his phone back into his pocket and turned around to face the inspector. Takagi trailed behind him, giving a summary about the case to the chief officer.

"She fell from the balcony to her death during the party at nine thirty-six. The discolouration and frothing on the lips indicated that she was poisoned – the medical officers are on their way to determine which type of poison was used. She came from up there," Takagi lifted his finger to point up on the balcony just above their heads. " – however the actual indigestion could have taken place anywhere. We haven't discovered the source just yet. The house is pretty large."

Shinichi cleared his voice, and several sets of eyes snapped in his direction.

Megure turned to face him with a look brimming with curiosity and anticipation. "You have something to add, Kudou-kun?"

The consultant nodded down towards the deceased. She was an attractive individual – in her late-thirties, bleached hair and wore jewellery worth enough to feed a family of six for four months. Her cheekbones were sharp and her nose too perfectly round which indicated that she had most likely had several bouts of cosmic surgery. "Look at her eyes."

There was a moment of concentrated silence as the police investigators scrutinized the body. When none showed any signs of understanding, Shinichi let go of an internal sigh in disbelief, however kept his dismay hidden as he continued.

"She has more mascara on her right eye then she does on her left, which means that she was halfway reapplying her makeup when she was poisoned. So she had to be in the bathroom when it happened."

Megure looked surprised at the revelation, obviously that possibility had not occurred to him. He gave a nod to Takagiand the inspector turned to search for the source of the poison in the bathroom.

"You are a valuable asset as always, Kudou-kun. Thank you."

Shinichi shrugged, "You would have figured it out sooner or later, _Keibu."_ Even though he had voiced what he believed to be the truth, Shinichi could still feel the burning gaze of their audience. Which was mainly filled with awestruck admiration, with one or two glares of envy sent his way. His shoulders tensed slightly at the hostility.

It was going to be a long evening.

…

Shinichi stepped out of the building with his nose buried in a case document. He had been preoccupied by the recent case of several murders in the Kanto region. All the victims were of both genders, either teens or young adults, and had been found by the side of the road, with their clothes missing and signs of strangulations. So far, they had not found any clues as to narrow down the culprit, other than the psychological profile indicated that the penetrator was most likely in his early forties and divorced.

"Hey, Kudou!"

Shinichi tore his eyes away from the file. Kaito had a huge smile on his face as he approached the detective with his girlfriend, Nakamori Aoko, trailing behind. She gave him a hesitant wave. Today the magician wore a large scarf that was clearly home-made from the apparent large hole in the seams and the mismatching purple and orange colours. His cap was propped down to the earlobes in an attempt to escape the sharp, winter-wind. The snow had not let up since their last meeting.

Aoko's clothing had wrinkles at odd places, she had probably thrown her clothes on in a hurry, and a matching scarf – just in different colours – with it's tip trailing after her like an obedient puppy in the snow.

Shinichi stopped in his tracks and threw a preoccupied smile in their direction. He was juggling a stack of paper, a cup of coffee and his cane in his arms, all the while trying to wrap his scarf around his neck to ward off the invading cold breeze.

"Morning Kuroba, Nakamori-san," he nodded in her direction. "I don't really have time to stop and chat, I have a car waiting –"

"It'll only take a second," Kaito yelled out as he wobbled his way through the half-meter of snow that still had not been shovelled by the groundkeeper.

Shinichi did not have the heart to decline upon seeing the hopeful smile on the magician's face, and the clear indication that he had hurried out in the snowstorm for the sole purpose of catching the detective. He felt a little guilty over that fact.

He nodded in resignation, an eye darting to his wristwatch "If it's quick."

Kaito removed one of his mittens even before he reached the detective, and from out of a pocket, he waved a deck of poker cards in his direction. "Pick a card, but don't look at it," his breath came out of in quick successions from the strain of walking through the snow. Behind him, Aoko stumbled but managed to catch herself from tumbling into the snow face first.

Shinichi winched in sympathy, before turning his attention towards Kaito, who had reached him by then. He plucked a card from the deck with half amusement, half curiosity, wondering what the magician was up to.

There was a yelp and Kaito dropped his arms as he turned to grab Aoko as she actually fell this time, and there was a shovel of limbs and an odd swear word from Aoko before she finally managed to get passed the death-traps in the snow. She looked at Shinichi with large, doe-like eyes filled to the brim with uncertainty and guilt. Most of her left side was now coated with snow.

Shinichi's stomach clenched painfully at the expression, feeling regret once more for the way he had reacted during their first meeting. He opened his mouth to apologies, as was she; but was interrupted by Kaito before either could say anything.

"Try guessing the card without looking at it," Kaito motioned his hands in the direction of the card Shinichi was holding faced down between his thumb and index finger, clearly trying to wade off any potential tension before it could even start.

The detective decided to let it go, though he raised an eyebrow at the request and frowned down at the card.

Aoko voiced his confusion with incredibility. "What kind of weird trick is this, Kaito? I don't think I've heard about this one before."

The magician did not respond to her either and just flashed his teeth in anticipation with mischief dancingin his clear, indigo eyes and a flush from the cold adorning his cheeks.

Shinichi eyed him carefully, wondering what the trick was really about. This just felt – utterly random to him and simply a play of chance. He looked back at the card with scrutinizing eyes, but he could see it had not been tempered with. Kaito did not seem discouraged at the lack of movement from Shinichi, even as the seconds tipped by, nor by the confusion of his audience. Finally, the detective decided to play along and voiced the first number that came to mind.

"Four of Spade."

Kaito only nodded, his expression revealing nothing. "Now turn it."

Aoko must have lost her patience, as a flicker of shock and disbelief flashed across her eyes while her smile thinned. "Is this why you dragged me out in the cold again? This is just ridiculous. You can't possibly have predicted this outcome. There's no way in hell this can be considered magic –"

Ignoring her tirade, however secretly agreeing on certain counts, Shinichi turned the card only to come to a stop as the _four of spade_ was revealed.

Aoko stuttered for a second, her mouth gaping in shock, before she grabbed Kaito's hand and shook them violently. Other than a penny, an orange scarf and a yellow rubber duck, nothing else was revealed to be hidden in the magician's sleeves. She let go of him, blinking at him in surprise. "How on earth –"

Kaito only grinned like the cat who ate the cannery, and his eyes never waived from Shinichi's face.

Shinichi's eyes darted back and forwards between the card and the magician in astonishment. He was certain nothing had been tempered with, and he had chosen the card from the deck himself as well as the number. He would have believed it to be a simple case of pure luck and coincidence that he had picked that specific card, had it not been for the anticipation and cockiness that exuded from the magician.

Shinichi eventually shook his head when his thoughts did nothing but spin in circles and he offered the card back. "Alright, you win,"

Somehow, the confession did not taste bitter on his tongue and his heart fluttered against his chest in surprise. It had been a very long time since he had not been able to figure out a trick, and the revelation felt stimulating.

Kaito accepted the card and slipped it into his pocket with a playful quirk of his lips. "Then we are 2 – 2, detective."

Shinichi snorted in amusement. However, he never got the chance to respond, as a familiar figure clad in blue stepped into the courtyard with a worried expression.

"Kudou-kun?" Takagi called out, the tone of voice was laced with concern. The officer had probably been worried that the detective had slipped on the ice and gotten hurt in the snow, and had therefore left his car to search for him.

For once, he did not feel remotely vexed at being treated like a fragile doll, and he waved a hand in the inspector's direction with a 'on my way', before turning his attention back to the couple.

"So we are. I hope you have a pleasant day you two. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment to get to."

Aoko seemed to have forgotten her previous hesitation as she threw him a friendly smile, all the while keeping half an eye in the direction of Kaito with a scrutinizing gaze as though she could make him spill his secret if she glared hard enough.

The magician was far too energetic as he waved an arm in farewell. "Likewise, detective," he responded with a light tone filled with gleefulness, and Shinichi shook his head again in utter disbelief.

Kuroba Kaito was definitely an odd individual, and Shinichi felt anticipation fluttering in his chest at the thought of interacting with the magician again – the next time, he would sure have a deduction to the trick the magician had performed for him.

…

"Could you pick up Heiji from the train station tomorrow?"

Shinichi wobbled to the side as someone brushed against him. He had the mobile phone pressed between his ear and shoulder. His arms had been preoccupied and he was not able to look who scuffled into him by accident.

The room smelled of medicine and the sick. Someone in front of him in the queue coughed loudly and he suppressed the urge to cover his mouth.

"Do I have to?"

He could clearly imagine the scowl etching itself into Ran's forehead from the other side of the phone-line. "He's your best friend, of course you should pick him up. And don't even think about taking him to work with you regardless of whether the two of you enjoy it more than going to the movies."

He sighed in defeat. "Why is he coming so early? Kazuha isn't getting here before later –"

" _Shinichi_ ," Ran chided in disapproval. "Why does it matter if he sleeps over at yours for a day extra? You finished your exams last week."

He scuffled with the papers and switched them over to his left hand and grabbed his phone with his right. Shinichi hoped he would not drop or wrinkle any of the documents as he tried to hold on to them and the cane simultaneously. His leg had been aching more than usual and he suspected it had something to do with the cold weather.

"Fine, fine, I'll pick him up tomorrow. How is the preparations for Saturday? Need any help?" He tapped the corner of the phone against his ear twice, his eyes flickered towards the ceiling in exasperation – he was sorely lacking a third hand to pinch the bride of his nose.

"We don't need any help, we got it covered," she rushed to say, not missing a beat, and Shinichi felt his stomach drop as he read between the lines. She did not need _his_ help, meaning most of the stuff still needed to be done would involve carrying furniture, decoration or food up and down eight floors without an elevator.

He ignored the sting of hurt and forced a teasing tone into his voice. "Regardless, if you need any help let me know, and I'll send Hattori over."

Ran gave a surprised chortle in respond, and there was a ruffling from the other end as she presumably shook her head in disbelief. "I'll keep that in mind. Listen, I have to go now, but you stay safe, okay? I heard there was a snowstorm brewing tonight so you better be home by then."

The queue moved and he moved along automatically. "Yeah, I know. I'm just picking up my prescription at the pharmacy, and yes, before you ask. Chiba offered to drive me. Stop fretting so much, you old mother hen," he mock-frowned into the phone, only half serious. Of everyone, Ran was the person he tolerated fussing the most.

There was a moment of silence, before she sighed into the receiver. "I'm never going to stop worrying about you, _idiot_."

His lips quirked upwards, and his heart fluttered in his chest from the affection in her tone. "Perhaps. You would probably lose your whole purpose of existing if you did."

He could imagine the scowl on her face as she responded, but he could tell she was not really offended. "I change my mind, I hope you get stuck in the snow and get sick."

Shinichi's smile widened. "Then who would pick up Hattori?"

Unsurprisingly, she ended the call there and then, and he could not subdue the chuckle that escaped from his lips. He put the phone back into his pocket, and he only had to wait for another two minutes before it was his time to step up to the register.

He nodded his head in greeting towards the pharmaceutical sales representative as he handed over his prescription. She was in her mid-twenties, hair short and auburn. Ger dark eyes flickered across his form, then down on the piece of paper in her hand. She gave a small but nervous smile as she turned around to get his pills.

Her shoulders were tight with tension and he swore she looked more like a skittish mouse then a grown human being. He creased his eyebrows in confusion, wondering what had produced such an uneasy attitude from her. He had sworn she had been calmer earlier. His thoughts spun for a second trying to deduce a possible conclusion, and landed on two probabilities; either she had recognized him from the papers and was nervous about waiting on a 'celebrity' – it would not have been the first time – or she had been nicking pills from the pharmacy. He would have to take a deeper look into that possibility at a later date.

His thoughts were cut short when she handed him back the bottle and he paid for it, ignoring the unsettling gaze and the nervous fidget of the woman as he left.

…

The train station was crowded even though it was only eight in the morning. Shinichi stood by the entrance, nursing a cup of burning hot cup of coffee as he waited for the train from Osaka to arrive. He stifled a yawn and glanced at the large clock above his head. It would only be a few more minutes.

A few metres away from him on the right was a couple – and to his dismay, he could hear the sloppy smacking of their lips as they connected and separated every few seconds. For a few moments, he considered doing either of two options; ask them to kindly stop, or hit them over the head with his cane. He knew there must be some kind of pros with carrying a cane around.

Instead, he opted to slurp his coffee louder to drown out the noise. The sky was still dark, however silver linings from dawn started to crack overhead. The weather caster had predicted a sunny day, and he hoped the sky would stick with the precognition.

The red _kaisoku_ train from Osaka eventually trailed into the station. There was a restless stirring in the crowd within as the passengers waited to be released. Even before the door was opened half-way, there was a body of a tall, lean man pressing himself through the crack in order to dash off to escape. As he stepped through, the person pushed someone over who had been blocking his way and sprinted down the platform, ignoring the angry, indignant calls after him.

As he stepped past Shinichi, the detective vaguely recognized a drop of a distinctive crimson substance on his sleeves. Without pausing, Shinichi reached after him with his cane, and yanked the curve of the handle in front of the culprit's foot. The penetrator stumbled immediately and went blundering into the couple who were still kissing the daylights out of each other – talk about killing two birds with one stone.

Shinichi could not stop the satisfying smile twitching his lips in gratification at the sight. He did not need to watch Hattori Heiji running towards them from the train to know what misdemeanour had gone on before the train had arrived at the platform. Shinichi leaned against his cane as he peered down at the three bodies by his feet.

"I recommend staying where you are. "

The perpetrator twisted to glare at Shinichi with a mixture of fury and fear. He started to crawl to his feet, however one of the couple's elbow shot out and hit him in the groin. He immediately crumbled onto the floor with a painful groan as he covered his groin with his hands.

"Ouch. That looks like it hurts," Heiji's voice reached Shinichi as he approached, his voice only marginally out of breath from the sprint.

The detective glanced in his friend's direction and his lips quirked upwards. "Had an exciting trip, I take."

The Osakan's nose crunched upwards in dismissal. "Pretty much a straightforward cut and run, I swear the criminals ain't even trying to make it hard anymore."

Shinichi hummed in affirmation, and they shared a grin in greeting before turning back to gaze back down at the culprit who was still struggling to get off the ground. Heiji moved to intercept, but suddenly the perpetrator shot off the ground with a last desperate dash for freedom. The Osakan detective did not miss a beat before he was off chasing after him like a dog after a hare.

Shinichi was left standing there and stared after them with a melancholic expression, which turned into one of amused exasperation when Heiji tackled the criminal right into a coffee booth a moment later. Behind him, he could hear the whistle from the Osakan train as it started to exit the platform, and he shook his head.

Heiji had not stepped out of the train with his luggage. Either he had not brought any, or he had forgotten it on the train.

Shinichi's penny was on the latter.

…

By the time they had managed to locate the Osakan's luggage after the arrest, it was already mid-morning. On cue, Heiji started hinting for an early lunch. They ended up eating _Takoyaki_ at a street-venue and continued to Shinichi's apartment.

…

"You look fine. Stop fussing, Hattori. You are worse than Sonoko."

Heiji shot him a grumpy look as he untied his tie for the fifth time since they left campus half an hour ago. The air was crispy and the cold tingled across their cheeks and bit any uncovered skin. Their feet thread through the snow and the crystals clunk to their shoes and jeans.

"Excuse me for wanting to look good, but I intend to make an impression."

Shinichi lifted an eyebrow, and a grin curled on his lips. "Impress Kazuha, you mean."

On cue, Heiji flushed as he started to stutter out a denial. "That's not –"

"Face it Hattori," Shinichi interjected, tired of hearing the same tirade of how they were just friends for the last three years. "As long as I've known you, you have never looked at or even thought about flirting with any other woman. There are only two possible conclusion to this behaviour; either you are gay, or you are in love with Kazuha. There are no other reasons."

The Osakan detective fell quiet as they continued down the street. His eyes were trained to the path in front of him as a frown etched itself into his brow. He licked his lips before eventually answering with a low, hoarse voice. "Alright, you got me. I might, _might_ , have feelings for Kazuha," his eyes darted in Shinichi's direction as horror over the admission flashed across his eyes. "Don't tell her I said that."

He supressed the chortle tickling in his throat. "She loves you, you know. It's clear to everyone who knows you two." It took him only a few steps before he noticed Heiji was not following, and he turned to regard him – his eyebrow still raised.

Heiji looked flabbergasted. Surprise and hope flashed across his face. His mouth gaping before he managed to voice the disbelief but wistful thoughts spinning in his head. "Y-You think so?"

Shinichi wanted to respond, to reassure Heiji, that he knew it to be the truth. However, getting involved with his friends' complicated relationship was not something he wished to do. He trailed his fingers through his hair, before letting out a soft sigh. "Let's just get to the party Heiji. If you truly want to know, you should take it up with the woman in question."

He did not wait for Heiji to respond as he continued walking. He only had to wait for a few seconds before his friend followed suit. There was an oppressive silence between them, and he let Heiji mull on his thoughts, most likely scrutinizing every meeting and conversation he'd had with Kazuha over the years in order to verify Shinichi's words.

 _The Osakan detective could be thick-headed sometimes_ , Shinichi thought, he was sure they'd had a similar conversation several times already. Perhaps Heiji was simply self-conscious about the idea and needed reassurance that he was not being a fool pinning over his childhood friend.

They eventually arrived at their destination, and by the time they had climbed all eight floors, Shinichi's leg was throbbing from the sudden exercise. He had ignored Heiji's heavy gaze as the Osakan purposely walked behind in him in case he slipped. Shinichi pushed the ordeal from his mind, not wanting for that action to sour his own mood, especially as he knew the Osakan meant no harm.

They greeted the birthday girl as they entered her apartment and hung up their winter attire. Immediately, they were swept up in a flood of music, talking and introductions.

In the end, Shinichi and Ran had managed to dissuade Sonoko and held the party in Sera Masumi's studio apartment. It was already large enough to house many guests as it was.

The girls – Sonoko, Kazuha, Ran, Sera and surprisingly enough, Aoko – looked radiant, seeing as they had spent the day in a luxury spa, followed by manicure and a hair salon. A treat all paid for by Sonoko. Ran wore a lilac blouse that matched her eyes, and a stylish, black skirt that went to her knees. As always, her make-up was done modestly and he was struck by how beautiful she was as she blushed before laughing at something Sera said.

Sera was modestly clothed in comparison, opting to wear a shirt and a vest with her trademark hat, and only a thin line of eyeliner finished off the whole outfit.

Shinichi glanced in the direction of Heiji, who had suddenly gone rigid next to him. He was puzzled for a second, before he realized that the Osakan must have spotted Kazuha in her short, green dress. Shinichi elbowed him, but it did nothing to produce a reaction. He sighed with a mixture of aggravated affection at his friend.

"Just talk to her," he whispered from the corner of his mouth and promptly left. He could tell Heiji seem to have been nailed to the floor with bewilderment. He headed for the refreshment table, with an eye searching the premises questionably – wondering if Nakamori Aoko's presence meant that Kuroba Kaito was here too.

However, there was no sign of the magician.

Hiding his disappointment, Shinichi nodded towards a group of people he recognized from one of his modules and was shortly approached by them –they were discussing the upcoming exams. The discussion quickly curved into different topics, such as the merits of using DNA samplings for human identification purposes.

"It's going to be possible to predict phenotype features such as statue, facial features and pigmentation in the future," Nashio Masashi said, the tip of his black fringe was dyed red and he took a sip of a bottle of beer. His eyes shone with excitement and a flush tinted his cheeks from the alcohol.

"Sounds like bollocks," Tomita Eisuke said, his eyes narrowed with distrust. However he sounded unsure, as it was common knowledge that Nashio had an odd interest in forensic investigation. "Surely our entire genetic make-up can't possibly predict how our facial structure is going to develop. What about environmental changes on our facial features?"

Nanao Tsuya fidgeted where she stood, nearly a head and a half smaller than the boys, and she shifted her glasses with a determined look as she peered up at them. "You have a point, Tomita-san. As the research stands, we cannot predict environmental adjustment, but give it a few years we should be able to calculate the phenotypes more accurately. Think about the ramification of the research. We could portray an accurate description of the victim or killer just from a drop of blood."

"Sounds like futuristic crap to me," Tomita responded. "Could be years in the making –"

"Actually," Shinichi finally interrupted, and the three pairs of eyes snapped in his direction as he spoke. His lips quirked upwards in surprise at the sudden attention. "It's already possible to predict if a suspect has red hair due to the discovery of a melanocyte-stimulating hormone receptor gene that causes the mutation of red hair, the police are using it in their forensic investigations."

There was a moment of silent, before Nashio responded with a dry grin. "So basically, if you are ginger committing crimes in Japan you are screwed?"

Nanao chortled and she shot Nashio an affectionate and wistful expression. One did not have to look twice to realize she had a crush.

"Kudou-kun?"

Shinichi glanced to the side as Sera Masumi approached him. Her lips twitched in uncertainty, and he frowned marginally at the nervousness in her shoulders, wondering what could have caused the tension in her as she absentmindedly pulled at a thread on the seam of her shirt.

He gave her a friendly smile regardless and leaned in to give her a one armed hug. "Happy birthday, Sera. Here, I –" he straightened to pull up a small box from his pants and handed it to her with a sheepish grin. "I wasn't sure where to put the gifts."

She flushed as she accepted it with shaking hands. A frown etched itself into her forehead. "I thought the invitation said no presents," she fiddled with the parcel for a moment before handing it back to him.

He did not accept it and shook his head instead. "Please, I insist. I didn't get you anything last year for – for obvious reasons."

Sera lowered her eyes before she let her hand fall with a small nod. "Fine, but I'm considering this a Christmas present from me to you."

His lips quirked upwards at her teasing words and he chuckled softly. "It's the best Christmas present ever, Sera. Thank you, you are really generous."

She grinned back, all evidence of nervousness evaporated and she licked her lips as her eyes darted around the room before settling back on him. There was a sudden determination shining in her eyes as she spoke next. "Can I talk to you? In private?"

He nodded in response and followed her out into the hallway. The click of the cane echoed from the walls in the intimate corridor as the floor switched from carpet to stone. He leaned his hip against the closest wall and lifted an eyebrow in expectation. All the while, his heart had started to flutter with foreboding.

Sera did not revert back to her nervous state and she planted herself on the floor with feet spread and arms twitching as though she was expecting a dispute. A tongue flickered out to moisten her lips as though she was trying to buy a few moments. Though her body language indicated a readiness – either to fight or flight, her eyes swam with uncertainty and a tiny flicker of fear.

He did not speak, instead letting the girl take her time. Whatever she had intended to voice, had to be an important matter to Sera, since she was someone who tend to speak her mind.

"Alright, just –" she bit her lip, before inhaling sharply, gathering her courage. "I'll back off if you want me to, I don't know what happened between you and Ran. I can tell how much you two care for each other. But I just – I might – that is to say –" she stumbled with her words, her eyes switching between staring at a point behind Shinichi's shoulder and the floor. The courage she had had evaporated as she spoke.

Shinichi took pity on her, and reached out to grab her shoulders. Almost immediately the female detective stilled underneath his fingertips. His heart pulsated in his throat and he could feel his stomach dropped as it dawn on him what she was trying to say.

Half of him was happy for Ran's sake – he had been worried earlier that Sera might not reciprocate Ran's growing affections – the other part felt his heart break into pieces at the realization that the glimmer of hope in the back of his mind that he and Ran would eventually end up together and still been present despite his try to move on. He pushed that all away though – now was not the time, and forced a smile on his lips.

"Deep breaths, Sera. Me and Ran are over. So if you want to confess your feelings, you have my blessings."

Her eyes widened in shock, and her mouth popped open in surprise. Her body twitched for a second as she considered hugging him, before she shot forward to embrace him tightly anyway. The hug only lasted for a moment before she released him, her face flushed with hope and embarrassed. "How did you know I –"

He flickered her nose and hummed with a teasing smile. "Don't insult my observation skills, detective."

A grin grew on Sera's face, and she shook her head once in incredulity. "Point taken," her eyes flickered past Shinichi and back into the party, and another uncertain emotion flickered across her face as one obstacle still remained: confessing her feelings to Ran. He could tell she wanted to get it all over and done with. So he moved and motioned her to go on ahead.

She sent him a grateful look and left with a promise to continue this conversation at a later date and a ' _thank you'_. He watched her go, the smile falling from his lips as she disappeared from view. He raked a hand through his hair and let out a sigh.

For a moment there, he had been tempted to say no, to tell Sera to not approach Ran about with her romantic feelings. That would was an idiotic and foolish impulse, he knew. He and Ran had been over for months. Moreover, Ran did not love him the way she loved Sera. Standing in their way would not gain anyone except the cruel whisper in the back of his mind.

He refused to be bitter about it all, to wonder what he lacked that the female detective possessed. _Trustworthiness, reliable, doesn't make Ran cry, the right gender_ , murmured a whirlpool of voices in the back of his head. And as he heard the wolfwhistle from the other room, he felt the sudden urge to leave and clear his head.

Shinichi was happy for them, of course he was. He simply was not ready to deal with the heartache at this very moment, and to deal with the gnawing feeling of abandonment in the pit of his stomach. Everyone he knew had a romantic partner except for him, and there was always the nagging feeling of _who could ever possibly love a broken soul like him?_

"You look like you could need a drink."

Surprised, Shinichi blinked away the tears prickling in his eyes as he glanced in the direction of the voice. He had not heard anyone approach him.

Kuroba Kaito looked at him with a worried expression as he offered the detective a red plastic cup filled with some unidentifiable alcoholic substance. Shinichi did not really care as he accepted the cup and he gulped down half, the unmistakable burning of alcohol sliding down his throat – which did nothing to calm his nerves. "Thanks."

They stood in silence for a few moments, though it did not feel oppressive or awkward. Instead, Kaito simply leaned against the adjacent wall as he sipped his own cup, keeping the detective company. Shinichi knew that if it had been anyone else, he would have twisted in discomfort and anger as he imagined the pity reflecting in their eyes. However the magician only looked stoic and sympathetic.

The cup was empty by the time he managed to reign in his frazzled mind, and he cleared his throat. "I didn't know Nakamori-san and Sera were such good friends."

Kaito scratched his cheeks, and a sheepish smile played on his lips. "Apparently Aoko and Sera-san bonded over their mutual dislike of Kaitou KID."

Shinichi could not supress the chortle that escaped his throat. "Sounds like Sera alright."

"Sounds like Aoko," Kaito agreed as he lifted his cup and bump it against Shinichi's in a soft 'thump' as if to toast, "For our crazy friends who can't appreciate art."

The detective lifted an eyebrow in amusement. "You think the thief's performance is art?"

He gave a noncommittal shrug in response. "Either Kaitou KID is a maniac looking for a bizarre form of adrenaline boost - seeing as he never steals anything - or he consider himself an artist with his magic performances. Like a circus clown searching for an audience to enthral. Either way, he has put away an impressive amount of forgers and crooks behind bars, no?"

"So you think him a vigilante?" Shinichi voiced his question in curiosity, half amused and half exasperated. "We should thank him for pointing out obvious lapse in judgement from the police and museum's security systems for letting a thief just saunter in and out?"

Kaito held up his palm, to indicate that he did not mean to disrespect, however his eyes still shone with a dark emotion. "All I'm saying, there has got to be more to him behind the metaphorical-mask. The moonlight magician is just as much of a human being as anyone else."

Shinichi's head tipped his head in agreement. Though he had encountered the elusive phantom thief many a times as Edogawa Conan, he had never truly gotten to know the man behind the masquerade and what made him tick. He agreed with Kaito's reasoning, there had to be a motive. However it had never been a priority in his life to figure it out, especially since he had not attended a single heist since he turned back.

"So, what's the verdict? Go back in or tactfully retreat for the evening?" Kaito asked, moving onto another subject when the detective did not make a verbal response.

Shinichi's lips quirked upwards, his eyes darting in the direction of the door. "No matter how much the latter sounds tempting, I'm afraid I'd never hear the end of it if I was to do so." To his surprise, he noticed he had calmed down quite some – whether it was from the alcohol buzzing in his veins or Kaito's presence he could not tell.

The magician tipped his head as the decision was made, and held the door open for Shinichi. "Your call," he replied with a soft voice, and the smile on his lips was tad more serious and affectionate than with humour.

Shinichi's heart fluttered in surprise at the expression, and rather than standing still for a second and consider it, he slipped past Kaito and back into the crowded room.

…

Shinichi was not sure if staying had been the right call, as he ended up having a front row seat to Heiji's play of _jealous drunkenness_ as his friend sulked about the sight of Tomita Eisuke flirting with Kazuha. If the Osakan detective had more than two working brain cells to rub together with in his current intoxicated state, he would have been able to clearly see how uncomfortable the girl was. She kept stealing glances in Heiji's direction, hoping for a rescue.

"It's just not fair Kudou –"

"Then go talk to her," Shinichi injected rather briskly and unsympathetic as they had kept repeating the same few lines at each other for the last five minutes. He could feel a headache brewing behind his brows, and it had nothing to do with a hangover that would surely overwhelm him come morning.

Heiji fidgeted for a moment, took a large sip of his cup, before opening his mouth to start the circle all over again. However, this time, he stilled a second midway, before his head turned to gaze at Shinichi with an intense expression. "Can I –" he licked his lips as he inched closer to Shinichi on the couch – and he suddenly got a foreboding feeling. "can I borrow your cane for a second?"

Shinichi eyed the aforementioned item leaning against the edge of the sofa for a brief second, before his eyes darted back up to regard his friend. He lifted an eyebrow. "Only if you promise not to commit murder. I don't intent to lose my favourite cane as evidence in a criminal investigation."

Heiji's face faltered for a second – and he could have sworn he looked disappointed – before a renew energy flared in his eyes. "Can I at least trip him?"

Shinichi snorted, and waved his hand in the direction. "Go for it." Even before the words escaped his lips, the Osakan detective had made a grab for the stick and was already half across the room. He could see when Tomita backed off with widening eyes at the oncoming storm that was Hattori Heiji.

"You clearly need less homicidal friends," Kaito commented drily as he handed Shinichi a glass of water before slumping into the seat Heiji had previously occupied, his eyes glued to the back of the Osakan detective.

Shinichi accepted the glass and took a sip. He hummed in agreement, an eye darting to regard the magician. Kaito had loosened his tie, and it hung freely around his neck, only bouncing slightly every time he moved. He wore a sky-blue shirt that matched his eyes. However Shinichi could still see residual stains from multi-coloured paint on the fabric – or at least he hoped it was paint. The magician's fringes were styled to the side, however the rest still stood in defiance to the laws of gravity. There was a healthy red flush across his cheeks from both the warm of the apartment, the buzz from the alcohol and laughter.

"Present company included?"

Instead of being outraged at the thought of being accused, even teasingly, of being a murderer, Kaito's eyes lit up as he regarded the detective with surprise. "You consider me a friend?"

Shinichi had to take a second to blink as he reflected on his words. He had not realized it before now, but he had indeed started to consider the magician a friend. Whether it was from the pleasant buzzing of the alcohol - he could not tell - his lips twisted upwards and he sighed with a happy expression as he tipped their cups together.

"For friendship," he agreed, and the subsequent blinding smile sent his heart fluttering in surprise.

He settled back in the comfortable coach and let his eyes dart around the room. Sonoko was chatting with a couple of friends - her long-time boyfriend, Kyogoku Makoto could not make it to the party. In their own corner, Sera and Ran huddled together, Sera's arm was wrapped around Ran's waist and even from the distance, Shinichi could clearly see the happiness radiating off them as the world around them ceased to exist as they spoke with soft tones.

He forced his eyes away from them before his heart clenched even more painfully. He settled on an easier topic, as he watched Nakamori Aoko holding an animated conversation with someone he vaguely recognized as Hakuba Saguru. She wore a stylish one-shouldered white-blouse that hung down to her thighs, with a short naval-blue jacket worn over it.

The detective was marginally surprised at the modern and considerate wardrobe, as he had always imagined Aoko to be less interested in fashion from her choice of mismatching colour combinations to her home-knitted scarfs.

"I think she's secretly colour blind actually, she's just too proud to admit it," Kaito commented amicably, and Shinichi realized he had accidentally voiced his thoughts. The magician stretches his arms across the top of the sofa, and for a second, his warm palm brushed against the detective's neck.

It sent a not entirely unpleasant shiver down his spine. He took another sip of his water as he looked back at Kaito. "Is that so?"

A grin played on Kaito's lips. "Aye, and as always, I had to come to the rescue. Being the one with the fashion sense between the two of us."

Shinichi chortled in amusement as mirth danced in his eyes. "So you got pulled into shopping too, huh?"

They shared an amused look over their predicament, and Shinichi was suddenly glad that Kaito had been there for the evening, uncertain how he would have taken the news of Sera and Ran being a couple had he been left on his own. His chest suddenly filled with warmth at the prospect of widening his circle of friends – something he had been trying to avoid lest they got hurt on his account – what with his dangerous vocation.

Now, instead of feeling dread, he felt only contentment at the thought.

The feeling evaporated a second later however, as a large and expensive looking vase fell onto the floor. It took Shinichi only a moment to locate the source, and had to stifle a sigh at the picture of Heiji waving his cane in the direction of a terrified Tomita Eisuke.


	3. Disturb

_Thanks everyone who favourited/reviewed my story. Makes me feel as though what I'm writing isn't utter bollocks and terrible. Here is a new chapter for all you lovely readers! I assure you I have no idea why I have been updating every six days – it's a nice even number. Haha. No, in reality that is about the time we/I have been using getting this story edited, that editing the edit then editing the edit of the edit… and still I miss writing mistakes *shakes head* I swear there are evil goblins deliberately going over the document after I go to bed at night just to thwart me. Anyone have any idea how to keep them at bay, putting out chocolate-chipped cookies next to my computer to distract them perhaps?_

 _Special thanks to the amazing Addy01 for going over and editing and reassuring me that there is no need for harsh, constructive criticism from her side._

 _Just a heads up. I'm going to add warnings on each chapter needed for whatever reason so nothing comes back to bite me._

 **Warning for this chapter for: Mention of torture and suicide. And angst.**

 _Enough chatting, please enjoy and let me know below what you think!  
_

 _…_

 _And in the naked light I saw_

 _Ten thousand people, maybe more_

 _People talking without speaking_

 _People hearing without listening_

 _People writing songs that voices never share_

 _No one dare_

 _Disturb the sound of silence_

 ** _Disturbed_**

 ** _…_**

 ** _Chapter 3 – Disturb_**

…

 _The large room was dim, with shadows cowering in the corners. A lone figure sat on a chair in the middle of the dusty floor, the light bulb over his head as flickering due to a faulty fuse. If he squinted, the small boy could see boxes and containers hiding in the shadows beyond the light's reach._

 _His breath came out in short puffs, a mixture of pain and panic bubbling underneath his skin. He yanked on the tope around his hands, however they still did not budge. The boy's face was bruised, making his features nearly unrecognizable. His eyes were swollen red, and a trickle of blood seeped from the corner of his lips. His mouth tasted of rich metal and was dry like the Sahara Desert as his body absorbed any liquid to compensate for the blood loss._

 _Edogawa Conan felt dizzy, the environment around him was a blurry haze in his mind as he tried working through the drug still lingering in his system._

 _As he gazed across the room, a shadow entangled itself from the darkness, and started to stalk forwards with a familiar gait. A sharp, rectangular face, pale skin and silver-white hair down his back hidden underneath a black fedora. His eyes gleamed of a bloodlust underneath the blatant psychotic rage. There was a silver scar on his left cheek._

 _His left hand clutched a large, hooked knife._

 _"_ _I won't ask again,_ bouya _," his voice was hoarse and low as he spoke, disguising the clear wistfulness in the assassin's tone – hoping that the boy would not answer so he had an excuse to honour his threat._

 _Conan thinned his lips, eyes never leaving the form in a burning gaze. He would never give up, not for anything in the world. He would rather die than to give them up._

 _Gin must have seen it in his face, as a large smile spread across his face. "Suit yourself," he whispered, before the edge of the knife was pushed down to the hilt into Conan's knee._

 _The detective snapped his head back as a howl escaped his lips as the pain scorched every nerve in his body. A bright light flashed behind his eyes and for a brief second he wondered if this was it – if this pain would be the death of him. He soon ran out of breath, and only a silent scream remained vibrated in his throat as Gin twisted the knife._

 _All he could see was the clear pleasure in the assassin's face._

…

Shinichi woke with a violent start, his lips parting as his lungs contracted to gulp down as much air as possible. His leg arched as the nerves on his thigh contracted vigorously from the phantom pain. He clenched his eyes together s he mumbled under his breath in order to reassure himself.

" _Just a bad dream. It's just a bad dream."_

Eventually, the adrenaline subsided and his heart stopped hammering against his chest as the tension slowly drained out of his body, leaving him only shaking slightly at the abrupt strain. His toes twitched once or twice from the lingering adrenaline. He reached a hand down to stroke his leg, his fingers dipped into the curve of the damaged muscle as he did so. Ignoring the immediate spike of pain, he started to rub his palm against the affected area in the hope of lessening the painful spasms.

It was only a bad dream

As the minutes ticked by, he slowly started to relax, and he eventually threw the cover off him, pushing himself into a sitting position. His shirt which had been soaked through from the sweat during the night, clung to his chest. A cold shiver raked down his spine, and with a sigh he disentangled himself from the damp clothing, letting it fall down into a clump pile next to his feet.

The cold air brushed against his bare skin, and he ignored it as he finally stood on shaking limbs. He pushed his fingers against his leg as he limped to the kitchen. The pain stung as it travelled up his spine, and he clenched his teeth, regretting not taking the few seconds to grab his cane as he leaned heavily against the doorway.

With a grimace, he finally managed to wobble the four and a half metres to the kitchen bench, and used it as leverage to hobble his way to the third cabinet to his left. His hand fumbled around the knob as he pulled the door open and he grabbed after the bottle of _Vicodin_ on the second shelf. His hand shook as he tried to screw it open, and as the lid popped open, the contents suddenly spilled across the wooden space of the bench.

Shinichi swore loudly, and grabbed after the pills. He picked up two and swallowed them dry, before sweeping as many as he could reach back into the bottle before leaving it laying open on the bench. Then he sagged against it, before pushing off of it and dropping onto the floor with his back leaning against the bench-cum-storage-cabinet to be in a more comfortable position – his leg was trembling too much from the strain to keep his weight on for the moment. He ignored the knobs that were digging into his spine. His leg finally stopped throbbing painfully. Instead, it had settled into a noticeable but less unpleasant aching as the minutes ticked by.

It had only been a few weeks since the last time he had refilled the prescription. Nevertheless, he was almost empty again. He wanted to blame it on the disastrous Christmas holiday, however he knew it had been his own fault.

The holidays had started a few days after Sera's birthday party, and Heiji had left two days after the event. With Shinichi already done with his exams, he had thrown himself into working the police department to discover the identity of the hitchhiker killer in Kanto.

Ever since his parents had moved away when he was fourteen, Shinichi had spent most of his Christmas Eve's at the Mouri's. It was the only day of the year Kogorou and Eri did not act hostile towards each other, and Shinichi had been looking forward to it as it would be the first time in three years he would be able to celebrate it as himself rather than as Edogawa Conan.

The only issue he had with this year's celebration was that Sera had been there as well, and Shinichi had been trying very hard to keep wearing a friendly and happy expression on his face whenever he hung out with them, all the while trying – and failing – to keep his heart from breaking. He was truly happy for his two friends, but logic and the matters of the heart did not always compute.

When he had been asked to join them for New year's celebration also, he had excused himself, saying that he had a shift at the police station. It was not a lie as he purposely asked Megure for it. It had been a long break, and he had been looking forward to lectures starting against just to fill the void in his schedule.

Shinichi had only seen Kaito once since the holiday started, and that only due to them accidently bump into each other in the courtyard wishing each other a ' _Merry Christmas'_. The magician had head off to France to celebrate Christmas with his mother.

He raked a hand through his hair and rested it against the wooden surface behind him. His stomach had suddenly started to churn and bile rose to the back of his throat into a tight lump. He swallowed thickly, wondering fleeting what had triggered the sudden nausea. He tried lifting himself off the ground, and the room started to spin around him. He grabbed on the edges of the kitchen bench tightly to stop himself from falling over.

Was he getting sick? He felt fine just a few minutes ago, except for the perpetual throbbing of the damaged nerves in his leg. This did not feel like a sudden bout of the winter flu. Nevertheless, he pressed a hand against his forehead. He felt hot and clammy. He started gulping for air as his lungs burnt and his stomach convulsed painfully again. His arms and limbs started to shake with the strain of standing upright.

Had it been something he ate? Except for the store bought bento he had eaten a few hours earlier, he had not consumed anything else. Tears prickled in his eyes as realization jolted through him with another wave of racking nausea.

 _The pills_.

He had been _poisoned_.

Shinichi scrambled to the sink and tried to spit out any residual poison in his mouth. The urge to gag prickled in his throat, however he swallowed it down firmly. Vomiting would only make things worse – his stomach was better equipped to tolerate stronger acid than the oesophagus. As long as he did not know what sort of poison he had ingested, the safer bet would be not to retch.

If he started though, there would be a large chance he would not be able to stop. And if he lost consciousness, he could easily choke on his own vomit. There was only one solution; he needed to call for an ambulance. He doubled over, trying to reach for the phone on the kitchen counter, however it was too far out of his reach. With mustered effort, he changed his position using the closest chairs as temporarily support.

Before he managed to move an inch in the direction, a jolt of pain burned in his chest and he grabbed his other hand that was not clutching the chair to his chest. He vaguely felt the spiking pain as his fingertips burrowed into the exposed skin. For a second, a laughter bubbled in his throat at the sad realization that poisoned pills might be the end of him after all – that he had survived the Apotoxin 4869 and the equally dangerous antidote just to die from a normal poisoned formed tablet. One should think he was used to the feeling that spread across his insides alarmingly fast, and he noticed a second later that he could no longer feel his feet, and from the rest of his body, he felt only a tingle of awareness as the burning feeling of the poison burned his insides.

He crouched over, trying to stay upright as he finally succumbed to his body's demanding urge to gag. The bile scorched his throat and tasted bitterly of unmistakable iron. He tried keeping his eyes open as another wave surged up his throat and he vaguely recognized the crimson colour splattered across the floor as salvia dribbled down his chin.

He tried mustering up the last of his energy in a last ditch effort to reach for the phone. Adrenaline flooded sluggishly through him and he let go of his chest to extend his arm. His upper body lurched forwards, but his legs did not comply, and so he stumbled. The chair kept his balance for only a second, before it slid of under his grip

He went tumbling into the floor, the impact making his teeth smash against each other painfully and a hollow thrum of pain shot through him from the impact, mixing with the burning sensations of his insides slowly getting liquefied.

For a brief second, Shinichi was tempted to succumb to the almost familiar feeling of poison wrecking havoc on his system. However, he knew doing so would mean his death - this was not Haibara's Apotoxin.

Shinichi stared up to the counter with desperate eyes, his arm lifting to reach even though he knew it would never be able to come in range to grasp the item of his desperate quest. His energy was sapping with an alarming speed, and he could feel the strength from every limb of his body was starting to drain away as well. Without realising it, his arm fell forwards onto the floor with a soft ' _thump'_ as his gaze blurred into whiteness. He let out a desperate gasp. Whether it was formed as a plea for help or just a strangle of pain, he could not tell.

Suddenly he felt cold hands on his shoulder. The ice subdued the burning from within only for a moment, and he vaguely felt someone turning him around. He squinted upwards, however he could only see the blurry contour of a face. There was a moving, black void on the face and it only took him a second to realize it was a mouth opening and closing as though the person was trying to speak.

Shinichi let out a painful moan as another wave of scorching heat raked across his spine, and his back arched in a desperate attempt to escape it. He managed to grasp the cloth on the person's chest in a weak grip. However, he noticed in his desperate effort to keep conscious that he could not feel the fabric underneath his fingertips. There was nothing but the convulsing agony.

His eyes blurred over again, and this time he could not fight the numbness overcoming his sensing as he finally succumbed to the nothingness which had threatened to overcome him for the last few minutes.

…

 _The only thing he could hear was the sound of blood rushing in his ears, and the harsh inhale and exhale of breaths as he tried to ignore the pulsating agony in his leg. He should have been more worried over the fact he could feel neither his toes nor the warm and sticky blood dripped down his leg. The fringes of his hair was glued to his forehead, and if he opened his eyes, he would have seen nothing but blurring images and white spots drifting across his vision._

 _Conan was still trying to untie the knot, but his fingers felt heavy and slippery and he constantly lost his grip every few seconds. He tried listening to the sound of Gin or any other member of the Black Organisation, but it was hard to hear anything above the throbbing of his head._

 _For a few moments, his throat clenched at the realization that he might die here – alone, cold and stuck in the body of a small child. Very few people would know what actually happened to him, Kudo Shinichi, his true identity. He shook the thought away a moment later, it would not do to wallow in self-pity at this current moment. He had to stay strong just a little while longer._

 _He suddenly heard the footsteps of someone approaching, and his heart started to throb against his throat as fear raked down his spine when he recognized the unmistakable strides of the assassin who had put him into this predicament. Coarse fingers suddenly slid into his hair and yanked his head backwards, producing a protesting groan from his lips. He forced his eyes open to see cold eyes scowling down to him._

 _Gin seemed to have finally lost his patience. "Either you'll tell me what I want to know, or you'll wish you were never born." The glint of metal flashed in the corner of his eyes, before a knife was pressed into his throat._

 _Conan tried swallowing, and a tongue darted up to moisten his lips. He could taste the iron from semi-dried blood. "Let me guess, you'll let me die without pain if I do?"_

 _Gin's nostrils flared for a moment before his eyes narrowed with a dangerous expression. "You expect too much kindness from me. Your death will either be swift and painful, or lasting and excruciating."_

 _The detective parted his lips to respond – the threat was entirely too classical and cliché for his tastes, but was back-handed before he had the chance – Gin clearly seeing the sarcastic reply forming in Conan's face. For a moment, the world flashed behind his eyes, and he let out a shuttering gasp as everything throbbed agonizingly. For a second, he wondered how much pain his small body could take before it succumbed. His head felt woozy from the blood lost, and his thigh convulsed in painful cramps as the wound kept pumping out blood. Gin's threat did not matter much anymore._

 _He would not last long._

 _Gin kept tugging on his hair painfully, and his voice lowered to come out with a threatening hiss. "Where are your little friends hiding out, hmh? Where is Shiho –"_

 _Conan could not hear the rest of the assassin's words as another wave of pain and exhaustion washed over him. The talking drowned in the thunderous rushing of blood in his ears, and for a second he wondered if he was imagining the loud crack that echoed across the warehouse._

 _…_

Shinichi was floating in a world of nothingness. There was only a dark void surrounding him in the silent and peaceful non-scape. No up or down, let of right. Nor was there any pain. His thoughts were lulled and there was barely a recognition of existence. There were no air or oxygen to inhale nor any breeze to stir the silence – he simply floated above a world filled with nothingness.

The pain from the damaged muscles in his leg had ceased aching – something that had been bothering him for months. His chest was no longer laced with pain, and his insides did not burn as if they were slowly liquefying. For a long time, he felt utterly at peace. And the emotion mirrored in his face. The worry that had etched between his brows had vanished, the grim expression always twitching in the corner of his eyes smoothed out. If he had bothered looking, the previous dozen or so scars on his torso had faded away, leaving only smooth, porcelain skin.

Suddenly, his ears twitched as a low tone echoed through the non-scape. It was quiet, far in the distance and subdued. The noise would not have been noticeable had the void not been so eerie quiet for a long time. Shinichi decided to ignore it, instead willing his mind to return to the peaceful numbness that had been surrounding him.

However, now that the sound had been detected, the humming only increased, slowly and almost unnoticeable, it amplified gradually over an indefinite amount of time. There were no words within the tone, and as he started to stir from the slumber hooked around his consciousness, he started to recognize it as a series of soft beeping from what he assumed was from a machine. Once or twice, he could hear something underneath the tone, something far more irregularly but still undistinguishable and incomprehensible to his mind.

Shinichi twitched his nose, a sluggish annoyance started to bubble in his chest as he tried to lift his arms to block the sound. It had started to annoy him as it pierced through the calm and peaceful state he had been in. However, he could not move as his arms felt far too heavy to manipulate.

Suddenly, something warm and alive brushed against his fingers. It sent a sparkle of electricity across his skin, a feeling he had not felt in a very long time.

He managed to crack his eyelids open. They felt heavy as though bolts were attached to them. Bright light flooded into his retina, it cut too sharply after the darkness of the non-scape and he let his eyelid fell shut to shield himself from the intruding glare. He was suddenly back to floating in the nothingness again as numbness crept back in, and he opened his mind to the peaceful silence in hopes it would keep the pain at bay.

However, the noise persisted, turning sharper and more clearly. His skin started to itch as he remembered he had limbs. The previous beeping echoing across the void, and twisted and spiked until he could hear separate voices humming with undistinguishable words to his senses.

There was a warm hand in his, and he could vaguely feel something warm and wet hitting his bare skin.

 _"_ _Shinichi._ "

His breath hitched in his throat, he _knew_ that voice and would always recognize it no matter what state he was currently in. He could hear the anguish and sadness and suddenly, his heart convulsed in a pain that had nothing to with any physical injury.

Shinichi tried lifted his eyelids again. However he could not seem to find the corresponding muscle to send the command to. Next he tried working his vocal cord with just as much success. The numbness of the non-scape threatened to pull him under once more, but this time, instead of letting it overcome him, he struggled against it.

Ran was in _distress_. She needed his help.

In the end, all he could managed was to squeeze her hand weakly. There was a second where nothing happened, before fingers slipped underneath his. A shadow was darkening his vision as someone presumable leaned over him. There was a gurgle of sounds as someone most likely tried speaking, but the words did not register in his mind.

He was lulled back to slumber from the chirping of a familiar voice as he vaguely felt fingertips brush against his cheek.

…

 _The warehouse was suddenly filled with yelling and gunshots. Gin disappeared somewhere in the chaos, and Conan sagged against his restrains, not able to keep track of the movements. He did not know who was out there, friend or foe, but at the moment, it did not matter as he felt the last of his strength draining away. He suddenly started to feel numb, the aching pain slowly felt more like a warm distant fire._

 _There was suddenly hands on his body as someone lifted him from the chair. He forced his eyes to open. Dull panic bubbling in his chest at the prospect of seeing the cold eyes of someone wanting him dead. Instead, he was shocked to the core as he slowly recognized the blob in his vision as –_

 _"_ _Hattori?" the name escaped his lips in a soft whisper._

 _"_ _Hang in there Kudou. I got you, I got you –" came the response drifting from afar - he vaguely noticed they were moving._

 _Conan let his eyes drift away as the last residue of horror and panic sapped from his body with the realization it was over._

 _No longer was there any chance that he accidentally betrayed his friends – and he hoped whoever had joined in on the rescuing operation would apprehend Gin and the rest of the members hanging around._

 _He let himself succumb to the darkness with open arms, a small part of him not caring if he would be able to open his eyes again._

…

He was ire aware of his surroundings the next time he surfaced to something akin to consciousness. The beeping of the machine pierced his ears. However instead of being confused like he had been earlier, he recognized it immediately as the EEG and the heart monitor.

He tried to frown, but could not seem to control the contractions of muscles in his forehead – as he tried to remember why he was back at the hospital.

For a second, his heart leapt with the idea that he had never woken up from the first time around and the last year and a half had only been a vivid hallucination. That when he woke up, he would be back to being an eight-year-old boy.

He squashed the thought a moment later. The past year had felt too real to be just a dream, and if he concentrated, he could feel the softness of the blanket brushing against his toes, and with the way it dipped at the end of the mattress, he could only be back in his grown-up body.

Shinichi would vaguely hear a murmur of voices in the background, and as he focused on the voice, the volume increased. After a few minutes, he could finally distinguish the spoken words. It was _Ran_.

" _As the gong sounded, Philip Lombard came out of his room and walked to the head of the stairs. He moved like a panther, smoothly and noiselessly. There was something of the panther about him altogether. A beast of prey - pleasant to the eye. He was smiling to himself. A week - eh? He was going to enjoy that week._

 _In her bedroom, Emily Brent, dressed in black silk ready for dinner, was reading her Bible. Her lips moved as she followed the words:_

"The heathen are sunk down in the pit that they made: in the net which they hid is their own foot taken. The Lord is known by the judgement which he executeth: the wicked is snared in the work of his own hands. The wicked shall be turned into hell."

 _Her tight lips closed. She shut the Bible. Rising, she pinned a cairngorm brooch at her neck, and went down to dinner."_

The edges of Shinichi's lip twitched in amusement. Only Ran would purposely choose not to read him anything from Arthur Conan Doyle or Edogawa Rampo. He let her murmurs of _And then there were none_ by Agatha Christie washed over him. He still felt as though he was floating on a sky with the frazzled edges of his mind lulled into a peaceful numbness. He vaguely realized he should be more concerned of possibly wounds on his body. However, he imagined the feeling was muffled from the morphine coursing through his veins.

There was a flutter of movements from somewhere in the room, and suddenly Ran stopped reading as something fell to the floor, evident from the clattering that filled the room a second later.

He managed to open his eyelids marginally and he peered through his eyelashes. The light was still bright, but no longer blindingly so. For a few moments, all he could see was a blurry whiteness, and his heart leapt to his throat at the possibility of him being blind. The panic subsided however, as his vision gradually returned to him.

Ran was bending over, picking up several items that had scattered across the floor. Her hair had three days' worth of grease, and he imagined he had been laying in the hospital for at least two days. There were dark bangs underneath her eyes, and her make-up had smudged up, indicated that she had been crying.

Shinichi's stomach clenched in guilt once more over making his childhood friend constantly worry about him. _How many times had they been in this situation?_ There really was no surprise she had gotten over him when he was so _unreliable and often prone to self-destruction in his need to chase mysteries and getting himself into dangerous near-death situations._

His throat constricted as he tried to remember why he was in the hospital. His mind only turned up blank.

Ran turned on her heels, but she froze on her steps as their eyes suddenly met. A gasp escaped her and she dropped everything she had just picked up as she hurried to his bedside. She grabbed his hand and fresh tears started to trail down her chin.

"Shinichi, you are awake. Thank god, we were so worried."

His eyes prickled from the pure relief and happiness on her face, but underneath them lurked sadness and guilt. His thoughts were too scattered and frazzled to even try interpret the reason behind it. He wanted to reach out and trail his fingers down her cheeks to reassure her he was fine, but his arms felt as though they were filled with lead and refused to follow such a simple command. He parted his lips to speak, but all that escaped was a gurgled sound.

Ran blinked for a second, before a fond smile quirked her lips. "Don't try speaking just yet. Here, let me –" she let go of him and turned to fill a glass with water sitting on the window sill. From nowhere, she produced a straw – or maybe it had always been there just out of his vision.

She turned back and placed the straw carefully between his lips. For a second, he was unsure where the corresponding muscles in his throat existed, before he started to slurp automatically as thirst washed over him. The water felt cool down his throat, and he could vaguely feel the liquid as it hit his stomach.

Not long after, he started to gulp down a pocket of air as the glass emptied, and his head fell back into the pillow. He licked his lips slowly and gazed up with gratitude shining in his eyes at the woman standing above him.

"Thank you," his voice felt raspy and unused.

Ran dried her tears with the sleeve of her sweater. A small laughter bubbled in her throat as she sat down on the adjacent chair and put away the glass.

"Welcome back to the land of the living," she spoke softly, one of her hand reached up to comb her fingers through his fringes.

His eyes started to drop at the comforting feeling washed through him. Despite the soreness of his throat, and the aching of a headache brewing behind his forehead, and the familiar throbbing of his left leg, he had never felt as peaceful as he had now.

"Try getting some sleep," Ran voice came from far away. He let himself drift away back into oblivious with the comforting knowledge that he was not alone.

…

Shinichi was fully awake the next time he woke. His eyes popped open as the last residue of sleep dissipated. He got a better look at the room this time. Several bouquets of flowers occupied the window sill with small white, square cards wishing him – presumably – a good recovery. The dimness and angles of the light filtering through the blinders indicated that it was late in the afternoon. There were two uncomfortable-looking plastic chairs by the bed and a small table against the wall. Up on the ceiling in one corner hung a small television, and he could vaguely hear the murmur of voices as a squad of female anime heroines battled against a comically drawn enemy.

He was alone.

Shinichi sat up, expecting the room to spin around him, but it stood mercifully motionless. He still felt groggy and tired, but his skin had started to prickle from being stationary for so long and his back ached where a spring had been digging into his shoulder blade. Suddenly the urge to get up and stretch his legs was overwhelming and he threw the cover to the side and swung his legs over the edge – his left leg throbbed in protest as he did, but he ignored it.

His heart started to beat against his throat, and he knew logically he would not be able to keep his weight if he tried to stand. Nevertheless, his mind itched with the urgent feeling he had forgotten something important. He clenched his jaw and dug his fingers into the mattress in frustration at the clear missing pieces of his memories.

"I wouldn't recommend trying to break out. You would have the entire police taskforce on your trail trying to track you down."

Shinichi's head snapped in the direction of the doorway, his heart hammered in his chest in surprise -he had not noticed someone had entered. Kuroba Kaito stood in the door way, his clothes were a ruffled mess as though he had either slept in them for a night or thrown them on hurriedly. For once, his hair looked flaccid and tired, rather than the usual wild defiance to the laws of gravity. In his right hand, he held several colourful strings attached to the balloons bobbing in the air above his head. Several read 'Get well soon', one with a sick bee reading 'Bee better soon' and another balloon with a picture of Batman.

There was a hesitant expression on his face as if he was trying to carefully look stoic. Something dark swam in the shadows behind his eyes and his lips were thinned with worry mingled with a trace of relief in the creases of his eyes.

Shinichi felt his mouth going dry, and his stomach suddenly clenched painfully. Something had to be wrong if it produced such a grave expression on the magician's face. He had only ever seen Kaito wearing a smile.

"I wasn't –" he coughed as his throat constricted around the words. He tried speaking again, however he doubled over instead as he continued coughing and he grabbed his chest as pain laced through him.

Suddenly, there was a warm hand on his back and a glass was carefully placed in his palms. The hand did not withdraw, rather the fingers wrapped around Shinichi's in order to make sure he did not accidentally drop the glass as Kaito lifted their hands upwards towards the detective's lips.

He gulped the water down, half afraid he would accidentally choke on it. However the magician was patient as only a trickle of water was swallowed per mouthful. Tension slowly drained from his shoulders, and he was gently pushed back into the bed.

Kaito placed the glass back on the small table, and with a flourish movement of his hand, he was suddenly holding a white handkerchief. The cloth felt soft against Shinichi's chin as Kaito dabbed it carefully in order to soak up the droplets of water that had escaped from the corner his lips earlier. He sat back a moment later in order to regard the detective carefully with neutral eyes.

Shinichi lowered his gaze, trying to muster enough energy to not flush underneath the intense, scrutinizing gaze. He cleared his throat. Now that it was no longer prickling to try to speak again. Unsurprisingly his words came out hoarsely from the lack of use.

"I wasn't trying to escape."

Kaito did not smile as he expected, instead his lips quirked downwards and his eyes darted to the door.

Shinichi waited in silence for a response that never came, and the detective let out a soft sigh. He trailed his fingers through his greasy hair. The accumulation of grease against his fingertips indicated that he had been in the hospital for at least three days. Had it already been a day since he woke up last with Ran reading to him? He frowned again, trying to remember why was he hospitalized; the last thing he remembered was going to bed. He turned his face to look up at the magician and licked his lips in order to moisten them lest they started to crack and bleed.

"What happened?"

Kaito's eyes snapped back to Shinichi with surprise and alarm flashing in his eyes. He curled his fingertips into the fabric on his pants. "You don't – you don't remember?"

The detective shook his head in response, only to regret it a second later as nausea hit him. He groaned and pressed the palm of his hand into his left eye-socket. "I have no clue, I remember falling asleep," he frowned, the lines etched itself across his forehead and made him look a decade older. "Did I have an early-onset heart attack? Rare but not unheard of at my age," he tried remember whether or not his family had a history of heart diseases –

Only to come to a stop when Kaito inhaled sharply and shook his head. "You are impossible, you know that?" The easy-going buoyancy crept into the tone of voice, and his eyes danced with humour for a fraction of a second before it disappeared and was replaced with a more hollow expression.

Shinichi shot him an odd look as adrenaline started to beat into his veins. "Then what happened?" he tried to access his memories again, but once again there was nothing but a blank - as though his subconscious had suppressed it in order to keep him sane.

Kaito blinked as his eyes darted in his direction again. There was a noticeable cringing in his shoulders, and for a second Shinichi could see that the wheels in the magician's mind contemplating lying or not responding. In the end he dropped his head with an inaudible sigh.

"You ingested poison."

 _His hand fumbled around the knob as he pushed the door open and he grabbed after the bottle of_ Vicodin _on the second shelf. His hand shook as he tried to screw it open, and as the lid popped open, the contents suddenly spilled across the wooden area of the bench._

 _Shinichi swore loudly, and grabbed after the pills. He picked up two and swallowed them, before sweeping as many as he could reach back into the bottle._

Before he was aware of it, he had already shot up from the bed, and he would have crumbled to a pile of limbs and torso if Kaito had not grabbed him. His heart hammered in his chest as adrenaline flooded his system. He gulped from air as he finally remembered – _someone had poisoned him_. He grabbed the cloth of Kaito's sweater in a tight grip.

"We have to –" _we have to find her,_ " – did you get her?" Pain laced through his head in a throbbing headache. He pressed the keel of his palm to his forehead as his shoulders shook. He remembered now, the suspicious pharmacist who had been acting strange. She had to be the culprit. There were no other possibilities as no one had access to his studio and he highly doubted Hattori Heiji would have a reason to try to kill him.

"Wo-ow, Shinichi, calm down," Kaito grunted as he tried keeping his balance while manoeuvring the detective back into bed without tumbling over. His fingers grasped over Shinichi chest trying to find a leverage to keep him from keeling over. It sent a shiver raking down his spine with an odd warmth.

Shinichi did not struggle as he was placed back on the bed. His head swam and he let out a gasp as he tingled all over with pain and exhaustion. For a second, his vision blurred, and he kept down the panic bubbling in his chest from the feeling of being utterly powerless.

"Hey, Shinichi. Stay with me," came the muffled voice, laced with concerned and alarm, from far away as though Kaito was speaking to him from under the water.

He could vaguely feel calm fingers brush against his jaw and chin, and Shinichi's heart suddenly fluttered as he realized that Kaito had called him by his first name for the second time in almost as many minutes. The numbness of the morphine started to smooth his frazzled mind, and slowly the tension in his muscles started to drain as he started to float back into the nothingness.

He almost left himself drift back into unconsciousness, when he remembered he was not alone in the room when Kaito moved. The urgency prickled across his skin again – there was something he had to ask. His hand reached out almost on its own and he grasped around the magician's wrist with a tight grip.

Kaito stopped moving immediately, and he heard the inhale of a breath and the murmur of words.

Shinichi turned his head in the direction of the dark contour of Kaito. His eyes were still blurred over, and were almost crossed trying to focus his vision. It was hard to fight against the exhaustion of his body – it would have been so easy to just let go and give in to the nothingness.

He cleared his throat and parted his lips to croak out, "Did you find her?"

He needed to know, could not rest before knowing the crime had been solved and justice served. Hopefully, they had found her before she had a chance to escape. He tried putting pressure on his fingers in order to squeeze the wrist he was clutching, however he had no strength to work with.

If Kaito heard him or answered, he could not tell. The sounds in his ears were muffled and incoherent. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, willing himself back to health. Gradually, the grip on the magician's wrist loosened and his arm dropped to his side on their own accord as he finally succumbed to the nothingness again. The soothing hum whispered in the back of his mind as his energy drained away with his consciousness.

…

Shinichi opened his eyes and blinked away the white haze obscuring his vision. He turned his head marginally to see the still form of Kuroba Kaito dozing off in one of the chairs. His features looked softer now, almost doll-like and peaceful like a young boy in his slumber. Only the mess of his hair ruined the picture of tranquillity as it had somehow gotten to be a more obstructive untidiness during the detective's slumber. Shinichi noticed a mole underneath his left eye that he had never been aware of before, and he wondered for a second if Kaito had a habit of concealing it with make-up.

The magician stirred slightly from where he had been curled up on the seat, almost as though he could sense that he was being observed. He stretching and let out a yawn as he opened his eyes, reminding Shinichi of a cat. It was oddly adorably.

Kaito suddenly sat up as the situation finally clicked in and his eyes softened at seeing Shinichi awake once more. He scooted forward on his seat in order to get closer to the detective just in case he struggled with talking.

Shinichi felt a little confused at the sight, wondering why Kaito had stayed. He had originally thought the magician had only visited for a brief moment, however now he had to reconsider the analysis.

"How long was I out?" he voices his thoughts, wondering how long he had been out, and was pleasantly surprised that the words did not come out as a croak.

Kaito's lips quirked upwards on their own. "Just for twenty-thirty minutes."

Shinichi had a distinct feeling the engineer student was lying – he hadn't seen Kaito looking at any timepiece, but decided not to linger on the thought.

Kaito licked his lips, and there was a quiver of hesitation in his eyes. He scratched his cheek for a second, before finally voicing the question that burned on his tongue. "You were talking about someone before you fell asleep. A woman –"

Shinichi sat up slowly as the magician spoke, and he nodded in affirmation. His heart fluttered in his chest with anticipation and the urgent need to know what happened to the perpetrator who had caused his current state. "Yes, of course. Did you find her?"

The magician's brows furrowed in confusion. "Who are you –"

Shinichi felt his stomach drop as an uneasy feeling spread across his body. If Kaito had no knowledge – and he realized a second too late that maybe the engineer student had not been the right person to ask since he had no direct tie to the police – which means she was still at large. He gritted his teeth in aggravation, and he would have gotten out of bed there and then to join in the search if he had the energy to do so.

" _Damnit,"_ he swore, hiding his face underneath his arm in frustration. This would be the second time someone had almost gotten away with killing him. Last time it had taken him over two years to apprehend the assassins. There was a soft touch on his arm, which made him move his limb an inch up so he could peer into the confused and concerned expression on Kaito's face. As their eyes met, Kaito's lips curled into a soft smile.

"You alright there, Kudou?"

Shinichi's heart dropped on its own accord as the magician spoke his surname, rather than his first name as he had done previously. He chided himself a second later. They were merely newly acquainted, and felt confused at his own reaction. Of everyone he knew, only Ran and Sonoko used his first name – and the latter only because they were friends from childhood. Everyone else addressed him as 'Kudou' despite being acquainted for years. Unless the situation was dire.

He nodded in response, and his lips twitched upwards in a humourless smile – deciding not to linger on the stray though. "As well as anyone can be in this situation."

Kaito cocked his head as a flash of uncertainty flickered across his features, before he controlled his facial expression and a small grin curled on his lips. "Good thing you have as many lives as a cat."

Shinichi gave a non-committal sound in response. "At least," he mumbled under his breath. Memories of being poisoned, shot at, kidnapped and stabbed numerous times flashing in his head.

The magician licked his lips, and once again he looked hesitant and slightly lost. It puzzled the detective, as he had never seen Kaito uncertain about anything. Or if he was, he never let anyone be able to read it through the flawless mask he hid behind.

He cleared his throat. "Kuroba? Is something wrong, you are acting strange," he furrowed his eyebrows – naturally the behaviour was not outside of the logical perimeters for someone to react to a friend being hospitalized. However, he could tell there was something else bothering the magician. His heart suddenly leapt as it dawned upon him. Someone had _found_ him in the apartment – the only one who would have been close enough to –

Shinichi inhaled sharply, guilt soaring through his system and made him slightly lightheaded for not realizing it sooner. Who would not be acting strange upon discovering someone dying, no matter the situation? The chances that it had been the first time Kaito had ever seen someone on the verge of death was large. The detective wondered if anyone had even given Kaito a second thought, considering how his friends were used to walking the edge of life and death.

"Are you alright, Kuroba? I'm terribly sorry you had to find me like that –"

Kaito blinked in confusion, and he swallowed thickly as his eyes lowered – it took the detective only a second to identify the tears swimming in the magician's eyes and his stomach twisted in guilt again. He should have been more careful.

He switched tactics, deciding to keep the conversation light lest Kaito lost his cool. "You saved my life, thank you." Shinichi breathed out in gratitude. If it had not been for the neighbour, then the pharmacist-assassin would have succeeded in her mission and he would have died alone on his kitchen floor. Who knew how long it would be until someone noticed his absence and come searching for his whereabouts? He shook away the morbid thoughts a moment later, this was not the time nor the place seeing the magician clearly so distraught.

Kaito's eyes darted back to Shinichi's face with a startled expression. Several emotions flashed across his features too fast to read. His lips quivered for a second in hesitation, before he parted his lips to ask with a small voice. "You are grateful?"

Shinichi frowned again, his pulse suddenly beating against his throat with a feeling of foreboding. Why would he be feeling anything but grateful? He opened his mouth to voice his confusion, when a jolt of understanding suddenly washed through him and he sat up in surprise. For a second, the room swam just a little bit, but he ignored it as he narrowed his eyes at the magician.

"You are joking," his voice was hard as steel and he felt the muscles around his eyes pulsating as a dormant anger swept through him. That would explain everything. Every action and careful chosen words from Kaito's side and Ran's soft spoken words. And the reason the police had not incarcerated the woman –

Kaito's shoulders tensed and he almost looked as though he was cowering from the sudden fury blazing in the detective's voice. His mouth shot open to respond. However, what he was going to say, Shinichi did not know. Neither did he want to hear as he continued to hiss.

"You don't know anything about me or my life. Don't you dare to assume something you have no knowledge about," the ire hammering in his chest started to make him feel light headed, and in the background he vaguely registered the heart monitor started to pip. He swallowed thickly as his arms started to shake from the strain of sitting upright. However he refused to lay back down. Betrayal laced through him at the thought that his friends – the people he regarded as family – had even considered the possibility that he would –

"Get out," he gritted through clenched teeth.

Kaito sat up, his palms lifting up to hover in the space between them as he regarded the detective silently with uncertainty and shock in his face. "Kudou –"

"I was poisoned, you arsehole. I could never – would never, consider suicide. I have lived through far too much to just give up. It would be akin to _murder._ Now get out!"

The magician stumbled a step backwards with pain and guilt flickering in his eyes. "I'm – I am – I didn't –"

"Out!" his voice rose as loud as his vocal cords would allow him, his heart beat with betrayal and revulsion over the whole situation. Kaito had only known him for a little over two months. How dared he assume Shinichi's actions? He knew nothing about what the detective had been through and had no right to make assumptions! He had even started to consider Kaito a friend despite everything – but this? This stung, to the bottom of his stomach.

A nurse appeared in the doorway with a frown on her lips, having heard the commotion and came to investigate. "You there," she chided in Kaito's direction. "I need you to leave, you are upsetting the patient."

Kaito froze, eyes darted to Shinchi and back to the nurse. His shoulders shook as his eyes swam of guilt and pain, he looked as though tears were prickling in his eyes and his hands twitching with the need to reach out and to apologise. However, he did not have to take more than a look at Shinichi's face to know the detective was not willing to listen at this point.

The detective turned his head away from the magician, and Kaito's words withered away. There was a moment of complete silence, before Shinichi heard the sound of the magician's footsteps as he stepped out of the room. He could vaguely feel the last, aching gaze Kaito sent his way before he disappeared completely from view.

Shinichi fell back into the bed and hid his face underneath the palms of his hands as he let out a deep, quivering breath. The rage subsided a moment later and filled him with a hollow achiness of loneliness and sadness. How had it gotten to this? How had anyone considered just for a fraction of a second that he could –

He swallowed down the tears burning in his eyes. How had things gotten to this? The was a soft whisper in the back of his head that his friends had a just cause considering the possibility, but he firmly ignored the very thought as he started to drift back into unconsciousness from the vary exhaustion.


	4. Echoed

_Hello sweet readers, I apologize for my tardiness, however I have just cause for it. I got the honour of writing the 'Halloween special' for SeleneMoon's series 'The Trouble with Soulmarks' on AO3. Furthermore, I ended up doing some last-minute changes to this whole chapter (every time I thought I was done I went 'nope'). I was never really happy about the development in this chapter, and decided to take two days (three days?) extra to make it just right. I've added…. Almost 3000 words to the original chapter, and another 2000 on the next chapter. That's the reason for the long chapter as I couldn't bother cutting it down (lucky you?), of course, if anyone have any issues with how long each chapter is, I can cut them down?_

 _Unfortunately, due to my hurry to keep my promise of updating each week, parts of this chapter has not been edited by a third party as it was added after I got it back. Any writing mistakes are mine and mine alone and Addy01 is doing a tremendous job helping me out (and getting snippets of things I sent her in a 'does this suck?' mood). Thank you so much for bearing with me!_

 _It seems I struck a nerve in some of you in the last chapter, please read the warnings next time, and I apologize for any discomforts._

 ** _Warnings for:_** _erh… I don't know, mention of mature suggestive content? Awkwardness?_

 _Wordcount: ca. 10,400  
Published: 01.11.16_

 _Please enjoy!  
_

 _..._

* * *

 _"Fools, " said I, "you do not know_

 _Silence, like a cancer, grows._

 _Hear my words that I might teach you_

 _Take my arms that I might reach you."_

 _But my words like silent raindrops fell_

 _And echoed in the wells of silence_

 **Disturbed**

 **…**

 ** _Chapter 4: Echoed_**

...

" _Shinichi_."

He looked the other way as Ran quickly made her way towards him. He clenched his teeth, not wanting to deal with her at this very moment. He should not have been surprised that she had been camping out in the hospital since he had refused to take any visitors. He needed some time for himself to swallow the bitter frustration that lingered on his tongue.

He was getting discharged today, and was now sitting siting in a wheelchair, being pushed by a confused nurse who was wheeling him to the exit where a cab was waiting for him.

Ran stepped in front of them, and the nurse barely managed to stop in time before crashing into the enraged woman – who was frustrated and angry at being turned away time after time these past few days. Large, dark bags circled her eyes, and her lips was thin with worry. Tired lines had etched itself into her forehead as she reached out her palm to grasp the handle in order to stop them from moving again.

Shinichi turned to gaze at her with a blank expression. "What do you want?"

"To talk, you idiot." Her voice turned softer as the anger drained out of her. "We are all really sorry. Please, just listen –"

"You jumped to conclusions without considering all the facts," came his hollow reply, barely managing to keep from grimacing only by a low margin. "I don't have anything else to say to you." He did not want to face her just yet –

She leaned forward to take hold of his hand, but he moved it before she could touch him. Tears started to prickle in her eyes, and he could see the pain he was inflicting on her, just by not letting her explain.

He felt bad for causing her so much pain yet again, however his chest was still beating with anger and disappointment. That she had even considered for a _moment_ that he would take the cowards way out. They clearly did not know each other as well as he had thought they did. The prospect hurt more than the poison had – Ran had always, _always_ been his safe-haven.

"What else was I supposed to think?" Ran blurted out, pain laced her voice and the tears that had previously threatened to fall was now dripping freely down her cheeks. "You have been so distant lately. Ever since –" she hiccupped and gestured her hand in the air as she struggled to articulate her words. "You ran after Gin and Vodka at _Tropical Land_. Why would you not be wretched and in pain and suffering from PTSD you miserable sod –"

Shinichi dropped his gaze, she had a point. It was a logical assumption – that anyone in his predicament would be suffering from depression and what-not. He had been through so much – they all had been. In the end, they had prevailed against all odds, and in the aftermath they all been irreversibly damaged. Not one of them could ever go back to being the person they used to be, and Shinichi had been grasping at straws trying to come up with another purpose in his life. Back then, when he was still Edogawa Conan, being Shinichi again was a distance dream. He had hoped that everything would right itself, once he managed to bring down the organisation that destroyed his life and returned to his original body.

It had not been the case; the world was still grey and filled with people stabbing each other in the back for the smallest of reasons. And this time, Ran was forever out of his grasp. Of course, he had been feeling depressed, constantly plagued with nightmares in the middle of the night and the throbbing of his damaged limb kept him from sleeping soundly. And then there was the clear fact that the mocking and cynical personality he had chosen to adopt in order to deal with this new reality, was a clear psychological sign of a depressed and tormented individual – and Ran now currently studying to become a doctor, was entirely too clever and perceptive to not take notice.

However he could never, ever, even consider suicide. It had never been a feasible option for him. The fact that someone had thought he was capable of it? It stung, badly. Worse so that _Ran_ had believed it for a few moments. She knew him better than everyone. He swallowed down the tears prickling in his eyes.

"I made a promise Ran," his voice came out low and dejected as he finally spoke and he looked up to gaze into her eyes. "I know you don't love me more than a friend, but I made a promise – to never leave your side again. And I don't break my promises."

Surprise and shock flashed across her face, and suddenly she moved forward to embrace him, pressing her face into his shoulder as she sobbed.

Shinichi could do nothing more than hug her back, his heart fluttering treacherous against his chest with pain. His anger towards her started to drain and he clung onto her just as desperately as she did to him.

" _I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,"_ she mumbled into his chest, and somehow he could no longer feel the anger that had plagued him for the last week and a half. He was tired of being angry, did not want to push her away. She was the most precious and pure person in his life – without her he would be utterly lost. He would always forgive Ran – no matter what happened, she would always hold a place in the better half of his heart.

But he was not ready to forgive and forget so suddenly. The cracks in his heart was more visible than ever and he could not stop the coldness spreading across his chest, as well as with the feeling of being alone even amongst his closest friends.

…

The table was filled with manila folders and papers spread across the surface in an organized mess. From his corner, Hattori Heiji was starting to look a little glazy-eyed after hours of getting nowhere in their research. Following the paper-trails left behind by the pharmacist was a necessary but a tedious job, and his attention had started to wander as it approached dinner time, and then, passed the hour. He thrummed his fingertips against the wooden surface as he dropped yet another sheet of paper in the 'useless' pile that was stacking ever so higher by his left elbow.

"Do you mind?" Shinichi mumbled from across the table, his concentration broke, disturbed by the constant sighing from the Osakan detective. Heiji had practically moved in since Shinichi had been discharged from the hospital to join in on the hunt for the woman who had tried to murder Shinichi. He, like everybody else, had tried desperately to make up for their lapse in judgement; and Ran and Sera came by practically every day with casseroles of home cooking to either help or keep them company.

Though he appreciated their efforts, there was still the simmering of disappointment, as well as the feeling of isolation, of being misunderstood at the back of his mind. Also, he was starting to get a little tired of all the attention.

Keeping his mind occupied with something else - like this case – was helping him to move past the issue. So far, the clues had been few as the culprit had taken the job at the pharmacy under a false name and disappeared soon after filling his prescription.

The description of the woman, as well as a picture, had been circulating in the media for the last week and a half. However, frustrating little clues had been discovered. Their safest bet would be to go through every case Shinichi had ever solved or made an appearance in, in the hope that something might pop up. The current profile of the culprit was that she had sought revenge for a family friend or lover that Shinichi had sentenced to prison.

So far, they'd had no luck, as the name of suspects sky rocket within hours of their search.

"Can you smell food? I can smell food."

Shinichi sighed and raked a hand through his hair, trying to ignore the other's presence. He had been shadowed like a hawk, especially by the Osakan detective, and it was starting to drive him insane with a longing need for some privacy.

Heiji did not react to his words. Instead, his face snapped to the direction of the door, his nostril flaring like that of a blood hound. Just as Shinichi opened his mouth to comment on the odd – but amusing imagery forming in his head, a soft knock came from the front door.

Without a second thought, Heiji suddenly sprang from his chair and headed towards the door, disappearing out of Shinichi's sight as he went to greet their visitor. Most likely hoping it was the girls with dinner.

With a soft snort, the detective shook his head in bewilderment, opting to concentrate on the documents in front of him. Voices drifted in from the corridor, though it was not loud enough for him to distinguish words nor the owners of the voices. A minute later, he heard the front door closing, soon followed by the shuffling of familiar footsteps as Heiji headed towards the kitchen.

The detective pushed a document to the side, and was reaching for another that was half-way across the table, when he suddenly froze. The hair on the back of his neck suddenly prickled as he got the distinctive feeling that someone was _watching_ him. His heart hammered in his chest and he moved his left hand to grab his cane in case he required it for self-defence.

"Hello," came a soft spoken words from the doorway, and Shinichi clenched his teeth as he recognized the voice. When the detective did not react nor made any attempt to say anything, Kaito continued – nervousness laced his tone.

"Can we talk?"

"No," Shinichi answered immediately and sat up as he withdrew his hand from the cane. He did not turn to face the magician, hoping he would take the hint and leave. Though he had somewhat started on the road to forgive anyone else, Shinichi had not spoken to Kaito since the day in the hospital, opting to end his friendship with the man. Regardless of what had transpired in the hospital room, that was not the reason behind this decision. Shinichi's life was far too dangerous to bring in anyone else, it was better to cut the ties before a real friendship blossomed between them – the attempt on his life was proof of it.

"You owe me that at least," came the neutral reply. However, there was an edge of something darker underneath the tone of voice that made Shinichi turn towards the magician in surprise.

Kaito's face was tight with an unidentifiable emotion, and he clenched his teeth as he strode into the room, ignoring the detective's protest. He slid into the seat Heiji had previously occupied.

Shinichi thinned his lips in response, but said nothing more as their gaze met over the stacks of paper. He mustered up the energy to sound apathetic about Kaito's presence, it would be the easiest choice in the long run if it kept the magician at bay. "What do you want me to say, Kuroba? Thank you for saving my life, but I'm not –"

"Shut up."

Shinichi clammed his jaw shut in surprise at the growl escaping the magician's lips. His heart palpitated in his chest of its own accord. He had never heard Kaito sound angry, and the sudden burst of cold rage left the detective unable to do anything but obey the request.

The anger subsided a second later, and he raked a slightly shivering hand through his hair with a frustrated expression – the reason behind his angry outburst. "I've been thinking, and yes, you are right. We jumped to conclusions, and I barely know anything about you or whatever demons lurking in your past. A normal person usually don't have any enemies trying to _poison_ them."

Shinichi sat back in his seat and folded his arms against his chest as the magician continued on his – most likely rehearsed – tirade.

"I know I haven't known you that long – but we all saw how distraught you were over Ran and Sera becoming a couple. Only a blind fool would not have seen it –"

The detective dropped his eyes. He was expecting anger to erupt in his chest, but instead he only felt exhaustion settling in his bones and a headache brewing between his brows. He was starting to be tired of being angry at everyone at this point, he had never been one to stew over anger in the past.

" – So I'm sorry for not realizing it was an assassination attempt. Seeing you lying there on the kitchen floor, I –" Kaito's voice turned hoarse and grave and his eyes darted to the side, and Shinichi could see the utter petrified expression on the magician's face. His stomach dropped with the feeling of guilt.

He did not know what he had done if he had discovered anyone he considered a friend in the same predicament – had been in a similar position in the past, only it had been _expected_ , but it cut just as deep regardless with the fear of believing he had arrived too late and he had lost someone he cared for –

"Kuroba," he cut in to save the magician lest he started to stutter incoherently, but also to cease the strain of thought he had been spiralling into. "I get it. I'm – well, I'm still angry at the whole debacle. But not at you. We barely know each other, and I think it'll be best if we –" he did not get any further - he was about to suggest that they stopped hanging around each other - when Kaito stood up with a vulnerable expression that had Shinichi's heart flutter in surprise again.

"Then let's get better acquainted, so a misunderstanding can never occur again. I think you are clever and witty and seeing you in that hospital was an image from my darkest nightmares. Frankly, I want to be your friend, and I don't care what you think otherwise."

Shinichi blinked in surprise, and he suddenly realized that Kaito had seen straight through his attempts at 'breaking' them up and had dismissed the aloof expression the detective had adopted in order to drive him away immediately. The magician's eyes were bright and intense as they drilled into the detective's. The stubbornness in the way he clenched his teeth that told the detective that he would not accept a no as an answer.

All of the sudden, Shinichi did not want to decline the proposal, not anymore. He genuinely liked his neighbour. Kaito had a quick tongue and was a genius in an unorthodox way, and the detective suddenly realized, that amongst everyone he considered a friend, Shinichi had missed being around the magician the most, despite the little time they had known each other. His mind flashed back to the memory of Kaito's magic trick in the snow a few weeks ago that still baffled him to this day – he had not yet figured out the trick, and he had not asked for an explanation. It was completely out of character for the detective and his mouth suddenly felt drier than the Sahara Dessert.

He opened his mouth to ask _why_ the magician was so adamant to being Shinichi's friend so much – he was nothing special after all. However, Kaito's eyes were unyielding, and the words died on his lips and all he managed to utter was:

"How did you manage to slip past Hattori?"

A familiar grin crept across Kaito's face as the tension drained out of his shoulder, immediately understanding that Shinichi had no intention of arguing back anymore. There was also a flicker of relief shimmering in his eyes, indicating that he had most likely expected to be turned away. Guilt settled in the detective's stomach once more at the realization – he had reacted harsher than he should have and so had hurt the magician. But at the time he had been upset with just cause. Shinichi was unsure whether or not this was the correct option to choose, but as he continued gazing into Kaito's features he could not remember _why_ it was a bad idea.

"I bribed him with take out from a restaurant down the street."

A chortle escaped the detective in surprise – the first time he had done so for the past two weeks – and he shook head as amusement bubbled in his chest. "You are strange, Kuroba," he commented lightly, wondering why of all people Kaito had decided to befriend Shinichi.

He only got a flash of smile in response, and Heiji stumbled into the room a moment later with a pleased expression as he carried a couple of bags and plates.

"We are keeping him."

Shinichi rolled his eyes and shook his head in bafflement. How did only the odd ones worm themselves into his life? It was not until later that he realized all the anger he had been harbouring inside him against his friends had almost vanished as they started to revert back to the easy-going interactions they'd had in the past before this whole ordeal. They still kept a watchful eye in his direction, but this time with less worry and concern over his well-being and sanity, and he was glad for the minuscule changes.

…

Shinichi had barely stepped into his apartment when there was a soft knock on the door. With a sigh, he dropped his bags of grocery on the commode lining the wall and ran his fingers through his hair. There were a few droplets of water coating his fingertips from the motion due to melting of snow. Next he removed his red scarf from around his neck and licked his lips to linger a moment longer – enjoying the few last seconds of peace and quiet he had sorely wanted for the evening.

He had finally been able to throw Heiji out of the apartment as his would-be killer had been incarcerated. Baisho Akiko had been arrested nearly three weeks after the murder attempt while trying to flee the country. She was the only daughter of Watase Tsuneyo. A serial killer who had murdered eight people – including his own wife – before Kudou Yuusaku and the police force had been able to stop him. Unfortunately, Watase had been shot dead by the officers at the crime scene after a shoot-out. His daughter had sought revenge ten years later, by trying to kill the author's only son in retaliation.

Yukiko and Yuusaku had flown in from Italy once they heard the news to put down their testimony for the case. No one had considered that Baisho Akiko – who had taken her mother's maiden name – would have sought revenge. So the investigation lasted much longer than anyone had liked.

Although Shinichi loved his parents, he had been stuck being fussed over by his mother the last few days and it had started to get on his nerves. He neither wanted, nor needed, any special attention from a doting Yukiko – especially when said doting involved introducing Shinichi to women his own age his mother had met through their travels. He appreciated the gesture – okay, maybe not – he could understand her worries, but he had no interest in getting involved with anyone. And he definitely did not appreciate Yukiko hanging picture after picture of attractive women all over his apartment in the hopes one caught his fancy.

Shinichi's only consolation came from knowing his parents would get restless soon and leave the country.

Loitering for as long as he could without being impolite, Shinichi reached for the door. There was a headache brewing behind his brow in dreary anticipation of who had come knocking. He really hoped it was not Ran as he was not sure if he could turn her away despite feeling too exhausted to be of much company.

Shinichi was mildly surprised when he opened the door to find not Ran, but Kuroba Kaito on his doorstep. The magician wore the home-knitted purple and orange scarf around his neck and it covered the tip of his ears. There was a certain red flush on his cheeks and nose that indicated he had recently been outside in the cold for a long period of a time, and the snow covering his hat had still not melted. Removing his mitten on his left hand, he pushed the scarf down so Shinichi could see the dips of his lips as he quirked them up in a hesitant smile. His right hand was clutching a white grocery bag.

"Hey."

The detective blinked slowly over the unexpected display – wondering for a moment if there was something wrong from the tension in Kaito's shoulder, but brushed the idea away a moment later. There was no alarm reading in his features other than nervousness. They had not seen each other since the magician approached him almost two weeks earlier to gloss over the misunderstanding while Shinichi had been in the hospital – the detective had been far too busy to focus on something that had not been the case and barely spent any time in his apartment.

Truth be told, despite being open to the idea of continuing their friendship, Shinichi had been reluctant to pull Kaito into any danger just by approximation. Being the detective's friend had proven to be _dangerous_ in more than one way, and the magician did not know Shinichi's story – what had happened to him and in his past, and he was never going to share that information to anyone either. Whenever there was a general query about his leg, he always answered elusively.

When Shinichi spent too long contemplating in his surprise, Kaito suddenly flushed deeply and his eyes lowered so he could peer through his eyelashes at the detective. "I wasn't' sure if you are busy, but if you need some time to recharge I brought some takeouts and a copy of _Belphegor: Phantom of the Louvre_. I remember you telling me you hadn't seen it, so I thought –"

"Kuroba," Shinichi hastily interrupted the magician lest his continuing stuttering would undoubtable lead to a jumbly of unintelligible sentences. His heart was fluttering in his chest in surprise over the ordeal – he had not expected for Kaito to show up on his doorsteps. In the three months they had been acquainted, they had only interacted by mere chance through coincidences such as living across the courtyard from each other and through common friends. The fact the magician had reached out proved his determination to the words he had spoken two weeks ago – that he wanted to be a closer and better friend to Shinichi.

His mouth went dry at the prospect, he should have known better that Kaito would follow up on his promise. The exhaustion settling over Shinichi suddenly lessened, and any thoughts of turning away whoever had knocked on his door vanished. He did not want to decline Kaito's invitation, not when he had taken the effort of providing both food and entertainment knowing that there was a probability it would go to waste.

" _Belphegor_ ," he licked his lips as his eyes narrowed in thought. "That's the French one you mentioned?" He did not wait for an affirmation as he continued, "about the French museum thief who took the persona of a spirit to pilfer?"

Kaito's eyes had lit up in hope and he gave a court nod instead of a verbal response, half-afraid the detective would change his mind. Shinichi had no intention of doing so as he moved away from the door so the magician could enter the apartment. He held his hand out to accept the bag of food from Kaito.

"Possessed by an Egyptian spirit, actually," The neighbour let him take it as he stepped into the apartment, and a content smile curled on his lips and giddiness shimmered in his indigo eyes. "I think you'll enjoy it."

Shinichi could not help but to smile softly in reply, and his heart fluttered in his chest with an odd warmth at Kaito's attempts of trying to stay in his life. He had a niggling feeling that the magician was trying to make up for the misconstruing like everyone else he knew – and Shinichi would be cruel to not let them at least try. He knew well the pain of being ignored and not given the opportunity to fix his mistakes – it lay heavy on his soul. He would not let anyone suffer the same due to himself if he could help it.

"I'm sure I will."

Kaito removed his shoes and stepped into a pair of the traditional ' _zori'_ standing ready by the door. Before Shinichi could react, the magician grabbed the bag of grocery on the bench and made his way to the kitchen, and Shinichi only huffed in response and followed suit. He was marginally surprise when Kaito came to a stop in the door opening, and for moment it looked as though the bag would slip through his fingers.

With a frown, Shinichi peered around the magician to observe whatever he was staring at, only to come to freeze with dread raking down his spine at the sight that met him. The entire room, as well as the couch and television serving as a Living Room, was filled with pictures of women from all walks of life. Asians, Caucasians, Mexicans, Africans, blonds, black haired, brunettes, gingers and so forth. Each poster had a description of the women's name, age, country, occupation and interests.

"So this is what is regarded as detective work?" Kaito replied drily a moment later as he finally got his wit back with humour dancing in his eyes.

Shinichi swallowed, before brushing past the magician with a roll of his eyes. "If you are implying I'm a stalker, I assure you it's far from the truth." He dropped the bag with take out on the kitchen counter and leaned his weight against his cane. He wondered how Yukiko had managed to sneak back into his apartment – he needed to change the locks.

He raked a hand through his hair with a grim expression – he wished his mother would stop this nonsense. Although, he could tell she did it out of worry for her son – it was her eccentric way to try to keep him from obsessing over the case. He watched as Kaito picked up the closest poster with curiosity.

"Help me burn them, will you?"

Kaito turned to face the detective, and the grin curled on his lips gave Shinichi a foreboding feelings. "Sure you wouldn't rather have me help you find a suitable –"

"Shut up Kuroba," he groused darkly in reply, and the magician closed his mouth dutifully – though the mirth swimming in his eyes did not evaporated as he started to remove the posters on the couch and television to clear a spot for them.

Shinichi watched him silently for a moment, appreciating that Kaito did not push the subject – did not even ask question about the ludicrousness of the situation, although he suspected the magician had already deduced what was going on. He turned to the cabinet to find cutlery and plates. His heart hammered in his chest for some reason, and it was not before later that he realized that – though Shinichi's eyes had lingered on the pictures of the women clad in revealing clothing or in intimate positions once or twice (although he had become immune against the view now) – Kaito's eyes had not glanced at any of them twice. With a soft smile on his lips, the detective felt a sting of jealousy over the clear signs of Kaito being in a loving relationship with his girlfriend – Nakamori Aoko. He was marginally envious over their close bonds. It appeared all his friends had someone special in their lives, something he longed to have – but doubted he would for obvious reasons.

A few days later when Kaito showed up on his doorstep anew, Shinichi was not surprised and it became a habit after that. The detective had started to feel bad after the third week, and so he had started to cook dinner on the days he knew Kaito would come over – it paid off living in an apartment where he could see his neighbour and could communicate whose turn it was to fix the food.

It felt a little strange, how fast the magician had become a vital part of his daily routine, however he could not find it in himself to mind as he greatly appreciated Kaito's witty commentary on whatever movie or show they were watching. He also respected Shinichi's boundaries and somehow knew when the detective preferred to be alone for an evening.

Sometimes though, he felt slightly guilty for keeping Kaito away from his girlfriend, Nakamori Aoko, but he never voiced it as he was afraid their evenings would come to an abrupt stop if he did. He was sure Kaito balanced his days perfectly well though – as Aoko always seemed to be in a good mood whenever she was around. The niggling doubt that the magician was only being his friend out of guilt was always in the back of his mind, but he learned to ignore the thoughts.

…

It was a cosy little café-cum-bar with dim lights, filled with students drinking coffee and reading for their exams during the afternoons as they offered free internet. In the evening, students would flock to the small bar that served relatively cheap alcohol. One of the corners dipped in behind the bar and into an alcove. The walls and ceiling were covered with random paintings – some of landscape with stickers of different American superheroes and popular anime characters glued to the paintings. Right above Shinichi's head was a painting of a half-naked, overweight Caucasian woman.

Dolls, antique items and an impressive collection of umbrellas hung from the ceiling from a different corner of the cafe. At the back of the café, there was a couple of board-games that the guests could borrow as they pleased.

Kuroba Kaito let out a pitiful moan as he burrowed his face into his hands as he tried to flatten himself across the surface of the table. Shinichi calmly picked up his cup of coffee to take a sip right before the magician's elbow could sweep it onto the floor by accident.

"Why am I even conscious right now? It's barely noon."

"I think you just answer your own question," Shinichi hummed without a shred of sympathy as he tried to wrestle his copy of _An Introduction to Forensic Genetics_ from underneath the magician's head.

"This is not an acceptable hour to be up and about on the weekend," Kaito continued sulking, "I swear Aoko is just out to torture me –"

Shinichi gave a non-committal grunt in response, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. The girl did have that sadistic streak in her when it came to her boyfriend. They were an unconventional couple; it was a thought that had struck the detective many times. They never seemed to be into public display of affections – something which Shinichi was very grateful for – and they always seemed to tease each other, as though they were five-year-olds pulling the pony tail of the girl they liked. Nevertheless, they seemed to find a special thrill in their jokes and easy-going teasing, and they clearly cared for each other immensely. And unlike other couples, they did not seem to need to spend every hour of the day together glued to each other's hips.

It was odd, but it seemed to work for them, and Shinichi had never heard Kaito speak of Aoko with anything but an affectionate tone.

Shinichi took another sip of his coffee. "Perhaps you shouldn't have nagged so much to join me on the 'girl's day out' so much." The magician had started to accompany him on this get together at the end of February. That had been three Saturday's since, and he seemed to be going well with the other girls. He had especially bonded with Sonoko over their common fascination – read: obsession – over Kaitou KID.

"I assure you, I have no idea what you are talking about."

The detective rolled his eyes with a scoff. "I'm sure if you were allowed to pick the time, we wouldn't meet before seven at night."

Kaito suddenly sat up, and the glittering of his eyes sent a foreboding shutter down Shinichi's spine. "Speaking of which, we should all go out dancing tonight –"

He raised an eyebrow at the suggestion, but Kaito did not get deterrent as he only grinned in response.

" – or in your case, swaying like a drunk sailor."

The detective's lips quirked upwards, secretly pleased that Kaito never viewed his dysfunctional limb as a hindrance. It was one of the reasons he enjoyed spending so much time with the engineer student.

Before he had time to comment, a group of familiar girls stepped into the café, and he waved his hand at them in greeting so they could pick them out from the crowd. By the time he looked back at the table, all the books had vanished and was – presumably – put back into the backpack leaning against the foot of Kaito's chair.

The magician bounced up from his seat to greet the girls and give Aoko an affectionate pat – all the while commenting on whether or not she had put on some weight since last week. On cue, the girl's cheek turned pink in aggravation and she swatted after him with her purse as he danced out of her reach. It was a common sight and the rest of the group ignored them in favour of voicing their own hellos and sat down by the table.

Aoko and Kaito joined them a few moments later – the former now had a crown of daffodils around her head. If she knew they were there, she did not say anything, and no one else commented on it.

"So Shinichi and I was just thinking, we should all go out dancing today. It would be a splendid way to cool off before the mid-term exams starts."

Aoko frowned at the suggestion. "But Sera and I have our exam on Tuesday on Behavioural Psychology."

Sera nodded in agreement, and there was a flicker of a smile on her lips - Ran most likely entwined their fingers underneath the table in reassurance. "What about next week instead?"

There was a nod around the table in an affirmation from the proposal and was quickly forgotten a few moments later as they started on a debate on merits of behaviourism within psychology and philosophy that somehow ended up in an argument over which flavour of ice-cream was the best.

Kaito argued that chocolate was best, Aoko that strawberry was the superior, and Shinichi opted to keep out of the conversation altogether as he sipped his coffee with a peaceful expression.

For the first time in months, he finally felt as though he was moving on and was starting to finally fit in somewhere.

…

It took them three weeks to finally find a day they could all agree on. It was already April, and the birds had started to migrate back from the south. A family of Bush Warblers had settled on the trees just by their apartment, and they started singing at six practically every morning. Even though it was after seven o'clock, the sky was still bright, with only shades of red in the corners as the sky edged into sunset.

Despite the warm weather they'd had in the afternoon, the air was cold and the wind chilly. Shinichi lifted the collar of his jacket up in order to get some refuge as he wandered down the street alone. His cane made a comforting clicking sound on the concrete, and he was glad that spring had finally settled. The winter had not been kind to him. His immune system was working below average since his return from being Edogawa Conan. He lost count how many times Kaito had arrived on his doorsteps in the morning with warm soup – sometimes he wondered how much Kaito actually spied on him from his apartment to be able to know when he sorely needed the warm soup.

He had been forced to visit Haibara a few times because of it, but she could do nothing to help him, they might accidentally mess up the trace of the APTX 4869 and the antidote and do irreversible damage to his entire body in any attempt to boost his immune system. They had discovered in the aftermath of Baisho Akiko's attempt on his life that he had only survived the poison due to some miraculous side-effect from the other poison that was already swimming in his system.

He was unsure whether he should be grateful, to be poisoned by the APTX 4869 in the first place.

Shinichi had accidentally walked into the Detective Boys the second time he visited Haibara, and his heart had clenched with sadness and longing at the sight of them. There had been a lot of issues that he had been more than happy to leave behind after masquerading as a child for two years – befriending the children had not been one of them. He sometimes still missed the easy-going relationship he'd had with them, the childish delight and the unique way they observed the world. They seemed to be doing well enough after Edogawa Conan went 'back' to America however, and he was pleased to see it.

He had never intended to hurt them with his departure. But some things were unavoidable in this case.

He ended his musing by the time he arrived to the bar. He was cold to the bone. His cheeks were flushed and he could almost imagine that his nose could compete with Rudolf the reindeer in terms of how red it was. He passed the body guard after showing his campus and ID card, and ignored the frown from the stranger as he eyed the detective's cane in hesitation before allowing him entrance into the club.

The room inside throbbed with music and the heat soared towards him as if to welcome him. His eyes wandered across the room, trying to pick someone he knew from out the crowd. However, on top of the dim lights, there were far too many bodies mashing against one another to tell anyone apart.

He stood there for a moment with his heart jumping to his throat as paranoia prickled in the back of his neck, sending a shiver down his spine. If someone was assassinated here, it would take a while before anyone would notice and the culprit would have time to escape –

Someone grabbed his arm, and for a second, he almost elbowed the person in the chest. Only the familiar voice that followed kept him from reacting rashly.

"There you are," Ran hummed against his ear, her breath ghosting his neck as she leaned forward to make sure that she was heard above the loud noise.

He inhaled sharply as a familiar perfume drifted around him, and his heart fluttered at the intimacy. He relaxed as the tension drained out of his shoulders. One of these days, he needed to stop jumping to the conclusion that anyone approaching him did so with the intent to cause harm. He was no longer hiding from people out to kill him and everyone he cared for if he was ever discovered. It had been nearly two years since the fall of the Black Organisation – the poisoning attempt notwithstanding .Was it not time for him to move on?

Shinichi turned his head to regard her. She had her hair pinned up with an oriental hairpin, a single lock curled around her chin. She wore a modest amount of make-up. The glow on her skin and the soft smile she wore made her, without a doubt, the most beautiful person in the room. If he had looked down, he would have gotten a good view of her chest as her soft-purple blouse had unhinged from her shoulder.

She started to tug on his arm, and he followed her willingly. She led him to a table at the back of the club, and he nodded in greeting as he spotted Sera draping her arms on the edge of the sofa. Ran let go of him and stepped in to sit next to her girlfriend. Sera's fingers brushed against her shoulder in acknowledgement as she sent Shinichi's childhood friend an affectionate smile.

Shinichi slipped into the adjacent seat as he asked:

"Am I the third to arrive?"

Sera shook her head. "Nah, everyone's here. Sonoko is somewhere in the crowd dancing with Makoto and the rest are getting the drinks. And don't worry," she flashed him a grin, "we ordered for you too."

Shinichi did not particularly appreciate the wolfish expression, and he got a foreboding feeling that whatever they had ordered for him, it would most likely be a sweet-tasting cocktail accompanied by a small umbrella. It was his punishment for being late.

He turned his head to address Ran. "How did your exams go?"

She smiled in response. "It went well, I think I aced the practical parts. Sera helped me study for it," there was a flush on her cheek as the couple shared an expression, and Shinichi cleared his throat, not remotely interesting in gaining any more information on the subject, and regretted asking in the first place.

Considering Ran was studying to become a medical doctor and her practical exam had involved anatomy – he could pretty much deduce what actions were involved in those... _studies._ He ignored the painful hammering of his chest at that thought. Ran and Sera had been dating for over four months, however his heart would not listen to reason. He was only setting himself up for more heartache pinning after her.

He was kept from spiralling into a gloom line of thinking by the arrival of Kaito. There had been a marginally attempt to flatten his hair, and Shinichi could see the residue from the hair gel glittering in the artificial light overhead. He wore a white shirt that glowed in the ultraviolet light, and a large grin stretched across his face as he arrived by the table. One hand was clutching two bottles of beer – one of which he passed to Sera – the other a drink in a cocktail glass. It had a bright-green colour, and bits of something suspicious bobbed within the liquid.

Kaito's grin widened as Shinichi paled at the sight. He offered it towards the detective and Shinichi accepted it with a defeated sigh.

"We need to stop this tradition –"

"Not happening~," the magician hummed gleefully and he slid into the seat next to Shinichi.

"Agreed," Sera commented as she took a sip of her beer. "Last time, Kuroba-kun was stuck with a mug of that awfully strawberry cocktail. He went easy on you, just giving you a glass."

Shinichi eyed them carefully, his eyes clearly conveying how insane he thought his friends were. Their tradition of buying the strangest cocktail on the menu for the last arrival was an insane idea, but as long as they got their pleasure from it, he would not complain too much. He took a hesitant sip of the liquid. A tart taste of apples, Medori Melon Liqueur, gin and chili spread across his palate.

He shrugged a second later, it could be worse, and Kaito hummed as he accepted the noncommittal verdict. Aoko arrived at the table and handed Ran her drink and sat next to Kaito.

Ran smiled a ' _thank you'_ at her before holding up her drink towards the middle of the table. "For finishing mid-term exams!"

Everyone raised their drinks in response and tipped their glasses together with a resonating 'chime' as they clank against each other.

After Shinichi had managed to finish the cocktail and after a few drinks in, the girls and Kaito went dancing. He opted to stay to keep an eye on their drinks as the rest went to the floor. The club had somehow been filled with even more people, and he lost track of them within few seconds as they disappeared. The music throbbed in his ear, though he was thankful that they had chosen a seat at the back of the club so the noise was not deafening.

His mind started to wander as his eyes observed the dancing crowd. He could easily pick up the body languages of individuals as they rocked their hips and rubbed against each other in the mimic of the ritual performed by mating rabbits. Forcing his eyes away he reached for his beer to take a long sip. Sweat had gathered around the collar of his shirt from the warmth within the club, and he reached up to pop open the first few buttons.

"Hello there gorgeous," purred a voice, and the detective's attention snapped in the direction of it in surprise as he had not noticed anyone approaching. The sight that met him was that of a dark-haired man in his mid-twenties. His eyes were almost black in the dim light, and there was glitter on his cheeks which was made to glow in several colours in the ultraviolet light. His lips were quirked upwards in a flirting smile and his cheeks flushed from inebriation.

Despite the clear signs of intoxicating, he held himself in a manner that suggested he was well used to being under the influence of alcohol as he moved with deliberate movements that made the muscles underneath his shirt visible. It was meant to be an alluring picture, and Shinichi would agree on an observation that the man was attractive from a pure aesthetic perspective.

"Mind if I sit?" he continued without waiting for response and slid into a seat without an affirmation from the detective. The man's eyes were heavy as they gazed on Shinichi, and he twitched slightly in nervousness as a reaction – wondering what the stranger could possible want with him.

"I am Sako Tsuruki," he continued with a friendly smile, his eyes still heavy as they slid up and down the detective with an interested expression- Shinichi suddenly realized his position with a jolt of confusion. A crease formed between his brows and his heart palpitated in his chest. "Can I buy you a drink –"

"I'm flattered," Shinichi interjected briskly in order to rectify the situation. "But I'm not interested." There was a clear undertone of _not being interested in someone the same gender_. His mouth turned a little dry, wondering how Sako had come to the possible conclusion that Shinichi might be gay of all things.

Sako looked confused for a moment and he straightened with a flush on his cheeks as his eyes lowered. "Oh, I'm sorry – I just assumed," he peered at the detective through his eyelashes with confusion swirling in eyes. "I saw you declining dancing with your female friends. In the company of such attractive women it was the only possible –" he trailed off with an embarrassed cough, and his lips quirked upwards again in a hesitant grin. All previous bravo had evaporated, and there was a certain tremble of his shoulders that suggested he was expecting to be scolded for his perversion or punched in the face – Japan in general were not the most supportive culture for homosexuality.

"They are a couple," Shinichi smoothed out with a friendly expression to convey he had no bad feelings over the debacle. He would be a hypocrite not supporting relations of either gender considering _Ran_ was currently dating Sera.

Understanding flashed in Sako's features and he relaxed a moment later when he realized that Shinichi had no intention of being hostile. "I see, I'm terribly sorry for the misunderstanding," he made to stand but stopped after a second to cast a last leering gaze at the detective. "Must have been wistful thinking from my side."

Shinichi could not stop the flush that crept up from his neck from the heated expression and he lowered his eyes as Sako disappeared back into the crowd. He scratched his cheek with a soft sigh, feeling rather discomfited at the whole ordeal. He had never minded homosexuality, but he had always leaned towards women in that regard – or rather a more specific person. He had never contemplated being anything else when there had always been Ran in sight since he reached puberty. There had never been a need to consider his sexuality when he had always been in love with his childhood friend – never looked at another person. Being the attention of anyone's attempt to flirt was mortifying regardless of the gender. But being accidently taken for a homosexual was definitely the first for the detective, and he was slightly thankful that his friends had not been privy to the scenes as he would no doubt be teased.

Shinichi did not get to mull over his thoughts on the subject for long, as a rather lost Hakuba Saguru tumbled out of the crowd and towards him. His usually prestige clothing was ruffled with creases, indicating someone had tried to grab him for a dance.

Shinichi's eyebrows rose in surprise – secretly glad for the distraction and so he pushed all thoughts of his previous encounter from his mind. He had not known Hakuba was coming. He had not had much interaction with the half-Brit since his return from being Edogawa Conan, as Hakuba spent most of his time back in England and his only cooperation with the Japanese Police often consisted of trying to catch international art thieves. Shinichi had met Hakuba only a handful of times when he hung around with Nakamori Aoko and Kaito.

He had wondered a few times what the connection among the three of them was. He waved the detective to catch his attention.

"Hakuba-san, what a pleasant surprise to see you here. Why don't you take a seat?"

The half-Brit blinked in his direction, before recognition spread across his features and he started to smooth out the creases on his attire as he started towards Shinichi. He could clearly see the grateful and relieved expression from Hakuba at discovering a familiar face.

"Good evening, Kudou-san."

"I wasn't aware you were coming," he commented as the half-Brit settled in on the couch adjacent to him.

Hakuba's eyes softened and they darted towards the crowd, presumably to seek his friends from the crowd. "It was not my original intention. However my affair ended earlier than expected and I thought I would come and surprise Aoko."

Shinichi was suddenly startled at the familiarity in which the half-Brit's address the girl, as he had always thought the other detective was adamant at being formal in any occasion.

"I'm sure she'll appreciate it," Shinichi commented with a friendly expression. "You are welcome to wait here till they come back, rather than get swallowed up by the crowd again. You might not escape with your life intact next time."

Hakuba's lips quirked upwards. "I will gladly take you up on that offer."

They did not converse undisturbed for long – unsurprisingly their conversation had quickly turned into a discussion of which Arthur Conan Doyle inspired case they had been involved in was the most cunning – before Aoko appeared out of nowhere and attached herself to the British detective like a clingy octopus. Her eyes lit up with happiness, and her cheeks flushed red, both from pleasure and from the amount of alcohol she had consumed.

"Saguru, you came after all!"

Hakuba's whole demeanour changed, and his eyes brightened with affection. It was an expression he had never thought was possible in the otherwise stoic detective, and for a second Shinichi's stomach churned uncomfortable as he realized Hakuba had a crush on Aoko.

Shinichi glanced in the direction of Kaito who appeared behind them, but to his surprise, the magician did not look remotely dejected at the scene. Instead, he wore a huge smile at the display.

"Come dance with me," Aoko purred as she peered at Hakuba through her eyelashes, and any protest died on the British detective's lips as he nodded.

"I do owe you at least one dance –"

"Or fifteen," Kaito commented with a grin, his eyebrows twitching in glee at the dark expression sent his way. "You have stood the lady up far too many times for anything but."

Aoko did not respond other than to disentangle herself from Hakuba and proceeded to drag him away from his seat with a mischievous expression that looked as evil as Kaito's. The last thing Shinichi heard before they were swallowed up by the dance floor and the throbbing music was:

"I need to show you this dance move Sonoko taught us."

Shinichi shook his head, feeling pity for his fellow detective as he took as sip of his beer. He glanced at Kaito's direction as he slipped into the now unoccupied seat and was surprised to see the magician almost glowing with contentment. If it had been him, he was not sure how he would react seeing his girlfriend so thrilled and happy dancing with another man – god knew he was still caught up with the occasional sting of jealousy over Ran.

Kaito met his gaze questionably, and he sat up with a frown on his lips. "Something wrong? Do you need some air?" his eyes darted in the direction of Shinichi's bottled beer, and the detective's lips twitched at the realization that the magician thought he might be drunk.

It might not be far from the truth, as the alcohol buzzed pleasantly in his mind. He wondered for a second what had been showing on his face. "I'm alright, don't worry. I was just wondering how you are cool with –" he bit his lip a second later to stop himself, as he had no intention of revealing he could tell Hakuba had a crush on Aoko unintentionally. He had no intention of getting involved with the workings of their relationship, and his face suddenly flushed at the embarrassment of his flounder. Keeping his deductions to himself when he drank was not an easy task.

Kaito cocked his head to the side as he regarded the detective. His brows twitched together in puzzlement for a moment as something dark flickered in his eyes. The second passed, and suddenly his face brighten up with glee as laughter bubbled in his throat.

"Aoko and I are not a couple."

Shinichi blinked in surprise, his mouth gaped open in bewilderment. He kept forgetting how perceptive the magician was sometimes – especially at reading people – before the wheels of his mind came to an abrupt stop in utter confusion. Aoko and Kaito were not dating? How was that even possible? Every interaction he had observed between them pointed in the direction of a relationship with deep emotional connection.

His stomach suddenly dropped again, and he realized that for once he had been the one jumping to conclusions – the same blunder Sako had done towards him earlier. He had just _assumed_ they were together, the same way people kept asking if he and Ran had been a couple in the past. He raked a hand through his hair in frustration. He had known them for over half a year. How had he never realized his original deduction was utter _bollocks?_

"So –"

"Yupp," Kaito replied with a grin, showing far too many teeth in glee from stomping the detective – Shinichi swore the magician got a debauched satisfaction from managing to get something past him. "They have been dating for... give or take two years now."

Shinichi let out a pitiful groan in response. " _Bite me_ – how could I –"

Kaito took pity on him as he patted his back. "To be fair," he started with a sheepish expression. "You are not the first, and we keep a tally of how long it take for people to figure it out."

The detective shot him a dark and unhappy expression. "So you have been leading me on for months with your devious ploy on purpose?"

The magician's smile widened. "Not intentionally, if it makes you feel any better. Didn't really come into a conversation. Ran figured it out months ago."

Shinichi repressed the urge to bury his head into his hands in mortification. "Please don't tell me you have a different girlfriend. I don't think I can keep my title as a detective if that's the case."

Kaito chortled, and affection glowed in his eyes for a second as his smile turned soft. "Nothing could ever take away that title away from you, _Meitantei."_

The subsequent flush of his cheek had nothing to do with embarrassment or from alcohol, and his heart fluttered against his ribs as his chest was filled with butterflies. A pleasant warmth spread on his insides, and he was suddenly very aware of the weight of Kaito's hand which was still lingering on his shoulder.

"Besides," the magician continued, and his eyes suddenly lowered to conceal his expression. "I'm not interested in girls."

It took the detective a second too long for the words to register, and he froze in response to the revelation. He had learned more about Kaito in the last few minutes then he had done in the last six months since they had been neighbours. He had never realized how adept Kaito was at keeping his secrets. Shinichi looked at him with a frown on his lips.

Precisely how much did he really _know_ about his new friend?

Kaito suddenly withdrew his hand and he inched away from the detective. There was a quiver of hurt in his expression despite his attempt at showing nothing but a stoic face. His shoulders slopped and he could clearly tell that the magician was upset and unhappy about something.

Shinichi blinked, and opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, before he froze on his tracks. Kaito must have misinterpreted the horror on the detective's face earlier, and thought Shinichi had been disgusted at the revelation. He moved forwards to grab Kaito's shoulders.

"Hey," he lowered his voice as he tried to turn his friend's attention towards him again. "I don't care who you like or who you don't, you'll still always be my eccentric and strange neighbour –" Kaito's eyes darted in his direction with hope flickering in his eyes as he slowly turned to face the detective, " – I was obsessing over the fact I hadn't _realized_ it before as a detective. You sure know how to completely boggle my mind, Kaito."

He brushed a finger against Kaito's nose, and the magician's eyes suddenly lit up as though they were an illuminating force on their own. Only a second later did the detective realize it had been the first time he had used his forename.

"Really? You don't –"

"Never," Shinichi interjected. "Anyone who do are morons, and I'll personally hit them all in the head with my cane in a brutal version of whack-a-mole."

The subsequent grateful grin on Kaito's face was worth more than any treasure, and it was not until later that Shinichi understood that the magician had not come forward with his sexuality earlier out of fear of being pushed away in revulsion – it was not unheard of that men were alright with relationship between two girls but against a relation between two males. The detective had a niggling feeling that Kaito's decision of telling him was spurred from his previous encounter with Sako Tsuruki – and his heart fluttered again at the realization that the magician had kept an eye on him in case Shinichi got bored sitting alone. He could not imagine why Kaito could possibly believe Shinichi would mind – it would not change how he regarded the magician, and the detective's heart bled with sympathy and fury at the thought of anyone looking down on his friend for any reason.

"Shinichi?" Kaito had commented later on as they staggered in the direction of home, an arm around each other's shoulder to keep the balance. His breath had come out in white puffs as his breath instantly hit the chill air, and Shinichi's heart had fluttered so strongly at how his name had been spoken with such tenderness, he had been sure Kaito could both feel and hear it.

"You are the best person in the world," Kaito continued, his voice slurry and raspy and he gazed at Shinichi as though he was the most important person in the world. "I love you."

The detective hummed in agreement dutifully as they staggered forward. "Love you too, buddy. Now let's get you home."

Kaito's eyes danced with happiness as he leaned his head against Shinichi's shoulder, letting out a content sigh. Shinichi had never realized how handsome – no – how beautiful the magician was. With flushed cheeks, lit eyes and shadows illuminating the perfectly formed jaw as they passed by the artificial lights above them. His eyes zoomed in on the smudge of a mole underneath the magician's left eye – the concealer washed away from sweat, and he was suddenly swept with the urge to trail his thumb over it in fascination – all the while wondering why Kaito had a habit of hiding it when it just made his features more attractive.

They stumbled a second later and nearly fell into the waterlogged gutter.


	5. Words

_Hello my darlings. I really deserve a cookie for this chapter, as I decided to cut the original chapter in two as it was getting too long, as well as something coming up this week that kept me entirely too busy to edit the full chapter. I started with a measly 5.8K long part that I imagined was doable to edit with my little time, and then it somehow ended up at 8.2K without adding in a new scene. Oboy. And here I was slightly worried it would be too short. The truth is, if I hadn't, I wouldn't have been so scrutinizing and detailed as it's easier to read through a gazillion times and add a sentence here and there every time to make it flow a little better. I admit that the last chapter was a bit of a mouthful – and a little too long to keep track off, so I won't be doing anything above 10K per chapter again (hopefully)._

 _Thank you for every review, like, and favourite, you make my day! I hope you are all enjoying my story. Special thanks to Addy01 for being amazing._

 ** _Warning for: Suggestive mature content. And clowns_** _._

 _Wordcount: ca. 8.2K_

 _Published: 07.11.2016  
_

 _Please enjoy!  
_

* * *

 _..._

 _And the people bowed and prayed_

 _To the neon God they made_

 _And the sign flashed out its warning_

 _And the words that it was forming_

 **Disturbed**

 **…**

 ** _Chapter 5: Words_**

…

Only the feint light from the moon illuminated the black concrete road which cut through the forest, and the ancient trees loomed above on either side. If there was anything lurking underneath the shadows of the forest, it was too dark to tell. A few rubbles pelted across the concrete and into the underbrush as his shoes came into contact with the loose stones and were the only noise except the echoing of his cane across the space that disturbed the silence.

The road was dry as it had not rained for a few days, which thankfully made Shinichi's journey easier as he wobbled down the street. He was thirty odd minutes away from the first signs of civilisation in either direction. He had been leaning his weight on the cane more and more as his feet ate the distance. The damage muscles on his thigh spasmed painfully with each step, and he clenched his jaw as he tried focusing on anything else but the aching pain.

In another ten or fifteen minutes, he might run out of energy.

What on earth could possibly have lead him to venture into the dark forest on his own? His pants were ripped around the knees as though he had fallen and he had lost his phone some time ago. His navy-blue coat hung loosely from his shoulders where he had popped open the few top buttons. Although he did not have access to a mirror, he was sure his usual immaculate hair might have been laying flatten and flaccidly as a reflection of his exhaustion.

Then, a beam of light cut through the darkness, and Shinichi lifted a hand to shield his eyes from the sudden brightness so as not to become night-blind. He stopped in his tracks, waiting for the car to drive past him lest the vehicle bumped into him by accident as he was not wearing any retro-reflector stickers.

However, the car came to a stop a few meters away – and he vaguely noticed the brand of the vehicle - a few years old white _Altima Honda_. The window on the driver's side suddenly rolled down, and Shinichi approached the car in curiosity – wondering what the stranger could possibly want with him.

It took him a few seconds before his eyes got used to the bright light and he peered into the open window. He was met with the sight of a man in his forties. There were stress wrinkles between his brows, indicating a couple of decades of working in a pressure-filled environment – possibly a banker. His hair was curling on the side and was receding up his forehead, and there was a distinctive grey within the jet-black hair, suggesting he had been colouring his hair for the last two or three years. The hand on the wheel had a stripe of discolouring on the proximal part of his ring finger – indicating the recent removal of a wedding ring.

He had a frown on his lips as he eyed Shinichi careful, his eyes narrowing on the cane Shinichi was resting his weight on. The detective wondered briefly what a miserable image he cut from the driver's point of view – a clear dysfunctional young man with tattered clothes and exhaustion reading clearly in his pale face, and he pursed his lips briefly with displeasure at the piety he knew would be accumulating underneath the stranger's stoic external features.

"What are you doing out so late, young man?" he had a pleasant voice as he spoke, with clear worry lacing his tone.

"Taking a midnight stroll," the detective replied elusively, his lips quirked upwards in a humourless smile at the ludicrousness of the statement, but he had no intention of relaying the true motive of being out so late to an arbitrary by-passer.

The driver did not look remotely appeased and his eyes never left the stick. "You are a good distance away from the closest town. Why don't you hitch a ride with me –"

"I couldn't possibly," Shinichi interjected, his eyes darting from the man's face to try get a closer inspection of the insides of the car. His heart throbbed in his throat as his shoulders tensed. He kept the paranoia out of his face, but he could still not swallow down the automatic suspicion bubbling in his chest.

The older man frowned, but kept the friendly tone as he finally tore his eyes from the cane and looked the detective into the face. "I insist. I really would sleep better tonight knowing you haven't fallen into a ditch somewhere. Or maybe you want to borrow my phone and call a friend or a family member?"

Shinichi stood still for a full moment, weighing the pros and cons of the suggestion. He loathed getting anyone else involved in his troubles, and he was too far away from Tokyo, and would be an inconvenience to any of his friends that he might consider calling. He tried squashing his pride, and he had gotten better at accepting help when he recognized he could not do something on his own.

The driver waited patiently as Shinichi mulled over his options, and he swallowed. Not everyone he met offering assistance had a devious ploy – and the man seemed friendly enough.

"No, I – thank you, if it wouldn't be too much of a trouble."

The older man's expression softened in relief as he shook his head. "Not at all," he opened the passenger's door as Shinichi stepped around the car. He slipped into the seat and the hum of the vehicle thrummed through them as it started to roll forward.

The warmth of the car seeped into his skin, effectively chasing away the cold – he had not realized how icy he had been before now. There were a couple of ramen boxes scattered in the backseat, and a mug of still-steaming coffee stood in the cup holder. The passenger seat's glove compartment was still open, and he got a glimpse of a name from the driver's license within – _Usui Eiji._

"You don't have to take me further then Yokohama," which was the next town at the end of the road, where he had been heading to. "Hopefully, the train to Tokyo still departs at this hour."

Usui's eyes darted in the detective's direction with surprise flickering in his face. "Then you are pretty far from home, what brought you all the way out here?"

Shinichi gave a non-committal shrug in response. "Needed to stretch my legs," his lips twitched upwards at the bad joke. "Sometimes, my skin just itches with the need to leave everything behind for a few hours."

"So no one knows you are out here?"

The detective stared out the window, the landscape disappeared in a blob of shadows behind them. "No," he replied after a few moments with a soft mumble. "I don't suppose anyone do."

Usui did not respond, and the subsequent silence went undisturbed except for the sound of the radio. Shinichi's eyes started to dip as the minutes ticked by and exhaustion settled into his bones. It had been a long day, and the drifting of the soft music and the warmth of the heater did nothing to help him keep alert.

Usui seemed to not mind the silence, and Shinichi's mind drifted to other things. The last few months had gone by so quickly – it was already late-April and in another few weeks the end-term exams would begin. He should start making plans for the holiday soon, lest he got bullied into joining Ran and Sera's plans of touring America and visiting Sera's own family to introduce her girlfriend to them. Even though his heart had slowly started to mend, and it no longer fluttered every time Ran sent a smile in his direction, it was still not a prospect he would enjoy.

He was finally getting over her, and it was a damned well about time too.

Shinichi was jolted awake from his thoughts as the vehicle came to an abrupt stop. He opened his eyes – not realizing before now that they had drifted close. He slowly unfurled from his position, and his leg throbbed in protest at the movement. He peered out of the window, but could not see any lights outside that indicated they had reached civilisation.

They were still in the forest.

He turned towards Usui with a frown, only to freeze as a jolt shivered down his spine at the sight that greeted him.

Usui was holding the muzzle of a revolver in the direction of the detective. All traces of kindness had evaporated, and instead, a predatory hunger and insanity peered out from the brown eyes. "Get out of the car," came the growl, sending another shiver raking down Shinich's spine –this time in fear. The voice had lacked any human emotion whatsoever.

His hand went to the door automatically, his fingertips raked across the door for a few moments, before they finally dipped into the crack of the handle and he pushed the door ajar. As he stepped out, Usui followed the motion smoothly, never letting his gaze off Shinichi.

The detective started to sweat, his fingers itched to grab for his cane. However he was afraid he would be shot if he tried. No matter how much adrenaline was flooding and circulating in his system, Shinichi doubted he would get far if he tried running on his lame leg. He swallowed and held his palms up in the air to show his compliance – if running would be of no use, perhaps talking him down would? He had to at least utilize his every option.

"You don't have to –" he started, but was cut short as Usui grinned.

"But I want to."

Shinichi's eyes darted towards the gun and back to the man's face, who was shivering in anticipation, indicating this was not first time he had picked up a hitchhiker. The mask of the kind, middle-aged banker with receding, grey hair had evaporated and switched out with that of a cold ruthlessness that mimicked a predator with a prey in clear view who knew that he would soon be feasting.

The detective did not have to think twice to know conversing would do him no good. He switched to his third alternative – stalling for time in the hope that someone would drive past. Shinichi licked his lips slowly as something niggled with familiarity in the back of his head. "Tell me, are you the one who's been leaving the thirteen bodies in your wake in the Kanto region the last few months?"

Usui's grin widened and the flashing of teeth made him look almost hungry at the fact that Shinichi recognized him. "My reputation precedes me, I see."

The detective gave a non-committal hum in respond, keeping a stoic exterior in order to keep the tumbling fear at bay. He had gotten into a dangerous predicament; one he was not sure if he could escape in his current condition. Thankfully psychopaths had a weak-spot for compliments. If he'd had time to be reprimanding, he would have scolded himself for getting into this situation – for once more he had committed a grave error in judgement. How could he had been so stupid accepting a ride from a stranger?

"You are clever, I've heard. Changing hunting grounds – being unpredictable."

There was a flicker of pride and enjoyment over the compliment in the killer's face. "Oh aye, I'm no fool. The police will never catch me," he started to step around the car to approach the detective, and his eyes burned with an intense anticipation as he scrutinized the detective. Every step he took was slow and controlled, indicating he had been keeping himself fit and strong for this purpose alone. It was a scare tactic – and one which was definitely working. "If you know so much about me, I'm sure you know what comes next. You are a pretty one, so I'll let you decide; would you like me to take you dead or alive?"

Shinichi pressed himself against the door of the vehicle as a flood of fear raked through him from the hungry gaze. His throat constricted painfully at the mere thought – and not at the prospect of death. He had never minded death, as he was surrounded by it in his every day. Not to mention being in near-death situations far too many times.

No, what Usui was lusting after was something completely different. A cardinal need that had twisted his mind into insanity.

The detective glanced behind him, hoping against everything that he would see the lights of a car in the distance. Usui was kind enough to let him pour over his options in silence – knowing full well that the detective had nowhere to escape if he tried, and the question remained if Shinichi was willing to be submit himself to sexual assault just to live a little longer. Also, getting closer to Usui would give him the chance of overpowering him: Shinichi might have a disadvantage, but he was by no means defenceless.

On the other hand, disgust raked through him at the very thought of the chance he could fail in his attempt to escape.

"What's the verdict then? Take a chance that someone might stumble upon us?"

The subsequent grin made Shinichi's attention snap back to Usui with surprise curling in his chest. The murderer was more observant than Shinichi had originally thought – the kind looking banker was definitely a wolf in sheep clothing if he was so adapt at hiding his true nature. Those were the kind of individuals who were hard to catch as they did not operate with the same moral complex as second-degree murderers – who killed out of anger, revenge, grief, love and so forth.

Shinichi held his stance and thinned his lips in response.

Usui laughed as an expression of glee spread across his face. "Oh, I do like you. Most cower in terror and plead me to not harm them. I would usually just shoot them at this point."

The detective swallowed, but kept his expression carefully neutral.

The culprit seemed to finally lose his patience, as he started to inch forwards. The hand not holding the revolver, reached out to grab Shinichi. The detective swallowed and pressed further into the door, trying to create some space between them. His shoulders tensed and he clenched his left hand, ready to strike out and try grab the gun when the killer got into range.

There was a sudden flash of light in the darkness followed by a ' _swish'_ sound, and immediately Usui recoiled backwards. Eyes darting to the shadows as a ferocious growl escaped his throat and he pointed the gun towards the forest. He made the mistake of turning his attention away from Shinichi, who did not spare a second as he jumped forward to grab the murderer's arm. He pushed his elbow into Usui's stomach, and wrenched the gun away from the killer with a swift and strong flick of his hands –

And instantly pointed it towards Usui as Shinichi stepped back so the man could not launch at him immediately in retaliation. He was granted a miracle – his leg did not shake as adrenaline soared through his system and kept him steady.

"Hands in the air, _Usui Eiji_. You are under arrest for the murder and rape of seven women and six men," his voice echoed into the night, and his captive froze in his steps where he had started to make a movement towards the detective in order to recapture the gun with brute force. Although the detective was a consultant and not a police officers, and did not actually possess the power to actually arrest him, _the murderer_ was not aware of this fact.

Usui's eyes reflected only the whiteness of his eyes as he sneered in anger. Shinichi did not dare look away in fear that the man would spring at the detective if he did. Instead he called with a hint of aggravation lacing his tone to his midnight companion.

"What took you so long? Next time, someone else can play the bait."

The answering voice sent a shiver of surprise down his spine, as the tone of voice indicated utter confusion as it replied with a stuttering voice – as well as ringing very familiar to his ears. _"Yo-you were bait?"_

The detective inched his head to the side as his nostrils vibrated in surprise – hoping against everything he had misinterpret a situation for once, keeping one eye on Usui, the other one trying to seek the person from the shadows. He did not have to wait long before a shadow walked into the light from the beams of the car. For a second, his pulse sky-rocket in utter horror as the person revealed themselves to be none other than _Kuroba Kaito_ – and validating his previous deduction with an uncaring force for the well-being of Shinichi's heart which was beating in panic and alarm at the knowledge that the magician had stepped right into something which could have been a perilous situation and gotten them both killed.

Kaito's attire consisted of dark fabric so he would be easier to blend into the background, and he slowly stepped forward with an unmistakable weapon clutched in his hands. His expression was stoic and tight, however Shinichi knew him well enough to see the clear signs of nervousness and fear in the way he held his shoulders.

A glance to the car was proof enough to make Shinichi's deduction a factuality, as the ace of hearts quivered against the metal where it had gotten stuck. There was only one possible explanation to this – Kuroba Kaito was _Kaitou KID_. He could not stop the strangled sound that escaped his throat in utter bafflement.

Utter relief flooded through him for a fraction of a second at the knowledge that the magician would not have been entirely helpless if Shinichi had not managed to wrench the gun from Usui's hold – at least he would not have been easily taken down. The rapid beating of his heart decreased now that the immediate danger had passed. However, Shinichi was now currently staggered with surprise over the entire situation, as well as indecision.

In the last _eight_ months they had known each other, Kaito had completely floored Shinichi a total of four times – the magic trick, apparently not dating Nakamori Aoko, being gay, and now, having a secret identity as an elusive phantom thief. His thoughts dispersed in a disarray of disconnections. Never in his entire life had anyone managed to make a fool of him so thoroughly more than _once_. Instead of feeling any anger at the realization that he had been deceived, what bubbled in his throat was something completely different and he swore loudly.

" _You got to be kidding me_."

Kaito flinched, his eyes darting towards Usai who suddenly looked rather puzzled, before settling back on the detective once more. His lips twitched downwards in something the detective could only call distress, however there was an unmistakable lit in his eyes from knowing that Shinichi was safe and sound and not in mortal danger as he had previously believed. When he finally responded, his tone was low and tight with an unmistakable quiver of hesitation and worry. "It's not what it looks like."

Shinichi raised an eyebrow and scepticism laced his stone as he replied. "And what exactly does it look like?"

The magician stopped in his track towards them, and his lips thinned with a frown with a dark emotion flickering across his features. "Yeah, alright. It's exactly what it looks like. Please let me _explain –"_

"I'd recommend not doing that right at this moment," Shinichi interjected with an exasperated voice as both their eyes shifted back to regard Usai, who held up his palm in surrender with an amused expression glittering behind dangerous eyes.

"You might as well, this is the best drama show I'll ever have the opportunity to watch."

"Can I deck him?" Kaito asked airily as he looked back to Shinichi for permission, in a way that told him that the magician was trying to light up the gravity of the situation. Despite Usui being compliant for the moment, Shinichi did not dare take his eyes off him for a second, and Kaito was practical enough to agree wholeheartedly – regardless of the fact that the elusive phantom thief had revealed his civilian persona to a detective. Two criminals who both merited an arrest – however Shinichi could not care at the current moment.

The detective contemplated Kaito's request for a few seconds, but he never got the chance to reply as the siren from the police car arrived a moment later. Shinichi cursed underneath his breath as his backup finally arrived. It would definitely be the last time he would ever be manipulated into playing the bait.

…

"Kuroba?"

"Hmh?"

"Why are you here?"

Kaito frowned and turned to face Shinichi properly. They stood on the outskirts of the light flooding the area from the police cars. The red and blue light casted shadows over the magician's face, and made it hard to properly gouge his facial expressions. Usui Eiji had already been removed from the scene, and the forensic team was currently inspecting his car.

"Ran called me –"

Now, it was Shinichi's time to frown in confusion. "What does –" he blinked as he suddenly remembered he had promised to join her and Sera for dinner earlier, and he swore for the third time this evening. How could he have forgotten something that important? He could imagine Ran calling everyone she knew in a desperate attempt of trying to reach him, as broken promises in the past had proven to be caused by a disastrous engagement.

Kaito must have seen in his face when he remembered, and he patted Shinichi on the shoulder in sympathy, glad it was the detective and not him on the wrong end of Ran's chewing out this time.

"How did you find me anyway?" Shinichi frowned in confusion. He was all the way out in Yokohama, after all.

To his surprise, Kaito lowered his eyes as a flush appeared on his cheeks.

He blinked in confusion from the reaction, before starting to knead his shirt in a scrutinizing examination with an angry crease on his forehead as he finally realized there was only one possibly logical explanation to how Kaito had been able to track him down: "You put a _locater_ on me?" he hissed through clenched teeth, and all friendly manner evaporated as his stomach twisted from the surge of strong emotions of fury and betrayal – as well as utter disbelief.

Kaito took a step back, and raised his palms up. "I _didn't_. I wouldn't."

Shinichi narrowed his eyes, his hands convulsing with the need to hit someone square in the face. He might have a niggling feeling of who the perpetrator was, and he was damned well going to let someone suffer the consequences – he was not a helpless child. "Then who?"

The magician looked away, clear hesitation reading in his features at his reluctance of throwing someone into the wildfire for the sake of his own life. His shoulders were tensed in a way that told the detective Kaito was struggling with a flight and fight reflex, however there was a vulnerability in the creases around his eyes that told him the magician was waiting for Shinichi to abide his time and arrest him at any second – and he had resigned to his faith without struggle.

Shinichi's anger subsided marginally at that. Despite everything, Kaito was still _Kaito_. Stubbornly faithful to his friends, nothing had really changed now that he knew the magician was in fact _Kaitou KID_. After the shock and feeling of being taken for a fool subsided, he realized there could never have been a sinister reason for their blossoming friendship. Shinichi was not even a detective on the KID taskforce, and never attended the heist as Kudo Shinichi and so the thief would not be able to use him for inside information. He was a homicide detective after all.

There had never been any tactical advantages in befriending Shinichi for Kaito – especially when he had worked so desperately hard to be a figure of importance in the detective's life. The more Shinichi pondered over the situation, the more he came to realize that they had been sharing pretty similar souls as they had been drawn together. All any of them wanted was a friend who _knew_ what the other had been through. At least, Shinichi had a circle of friends who knew about his time as Edogawa Conan, and his heart suddenly bled at the realization that maybe Kaito may not have anyone to support him.

Without meaning to, his anger had vanished and the adrenaline that had kept him going suddenly left him tired and exhausted to the bone. He ached to have his cane to lean on, now that his leg had started to throb, and he put a hand on Kaito's shoulder and squeezed. To convey that there were no hard feelings – anyone remotely intelligent would realize that telling a group full of self-righteous detectives that you were an international art thief was a terrible idea– and to use Kaito to keep his balance.

As for the reason to why he had ever turned to the persona of _Kaitou KID_ , Shinichi was sure he had a perfectly good explanation and he would be ready to listen once they managed to get some privacy and the magician was ready to tell. Now was neither the time nor the place for it, as they could be approached by one of the police officers at any current moment – only later would he realize that arresting Kaito had never even crossed his mind.

"We are going to have a long talk about this later," he murmured, and Kaito shot him a surprised look as his eyes lit up with hope and he nodded in agreement – clearly understanding that the detective had no intention of outing him, and the tension finally dissolved from his shoulder as a quick flicker of attentive fondness flashed across his eyes too fast for Shinichi to read.

…

Later somehow did not happen until five days later as they suddenly got far too busy to have a full afternoon and evening open to hold the conversation. In fact, Shinichi dragged himself to bed tired to the bone every night, as he had been flooded with homework and police reports after finally capturing the Kanto serial killer the police had been chasing for over eight months.

He was suddenly awoken from his slumber by a sound that did not belong in his apartment. His ears prickled as he tried locating it again, but all he heard was the humming from the kitchen, and the ticking of a clock from his study room. He sat up slowly, holding his breath for a few moments, wondering if he was being paranoid.

He glanced to the side to eye the alarm clock. It blinked _6\. 45_ pm at him, and it would normally be an odd time for him to be asleep, had he not been up for the last thirty-eight hours and had fallen to bed the moment he got home from a case. He raked a hand through his hair and sighed. Now that he was awake, he might as well get up.

He threw the blanket to the side, and eased himself out of bed by using the night stand for balance. He plucked the cane from where it hung from the hook next to the bed. He wobbled forwards as he worked the stiffness from his limbs, and he had a headache brewing behind his forehead and painful spasms in his thigh.

Shinichi walked out of the bedroom and made a beeline to the kitchen. He only heard the creak of the floorboards behind him a second too late, before there was a cloth smelling unmistakably of chloroform covering his mouth and nose, and a strong arm around his waist to keep him from sliding to the floor at the inevitable outcome. He barely had the time to utter a surprised groan as he was pressed against a hard chest. The assailant's arm around his waist trapped his arms effectively against his body, and Shinichi's cane slipped from his grip as it slacked when the numbness flooded through his system before he had any chance to struggle and fight back.

His last thought before he succumbed to darkness was 'the culprit is definitely male.'

The first thing he heard as he returned to consciousness was the droning of a speeding car. His head bumped against the window, and the vibrations made his nose itch – _not in the trunk_. His mouth felt dry and cotton-like from the substance used to knock him out, and if he concentrated, he could feel the soft fabric of a blind fold on him. There was no way to quickly deduce how long he had been out – however he imagined it could not be more than 20-30 minutes as the doze of chloroform had not been that strong as indicated by the smell. Keeping his breathing even, he opened his eyes trying to peer out – maybe he might be able to see something if the cloth was see-through enough… However, he could see nothing but darkness.

"Welcome back to the land of the living," a familiar voice hummed from the direction of the driver's seat, and Shinichi sat up in surprise.

With a disgruntled noise, he reached up to remove the blindfold, ready to chew the magician out for scaring him. What the hell was Kaito thinking, _kidnapping him?_

"Please keep it on," his voice was softer this time, filled with a hope that Shinichi would obey his request, however there was an undertone of _I'm not going to argue if you do_ n _'t_.

It made the detective freeze in surprise, and his heart fluttered as a subsequent reaction in surprise. "Why?" he managed to muster after a moment, completely baffled and confused by the situation and meaning both 'why did you decide it was a good idea to knock me out' and 'why keep wearing the blindfold'.

The only reply from the magician's side was a riddled: "Humour me."

So Shinichi did as he was told. He was not sure why he did, but he felt that whatever had merit an abduction from his own apartment must be important. That, or Kaito knew from the get-go that if he had asked, Shinichi would say no. Either option made his stomach churn with a foreboding feeling. The car drive continued in silence for a few more moments, other than the American pop song playing from the radio.

The detective licked his lips, feeling rather out of place not knowing where he was or where they were heading. Having started the journey out of commission, he had no starting point to work with. However, his ears still prickled automatically, trying to pick up any recognisable sounds from outside in the hope for a clue.

Kaito must have come to the conclusion that the detective would not be an entirely willing captive, and so he spoke to keep Shinichi from cheating.

"My father was the original Kaitou KID."

Shinichi turned his head towards Kaito in surprise and curiosity, as he had not expected that to be the start of a conversation. All interest in figuring out their mysterious destination vanished from his mind, and he sat up to listen more closely. He remembered Aoko telling him Kaito's father had died while he was young –

"I took up the mantle in order to investigate the truth behind his death," Kaito's words were low, however there were no quiver in his tone and he spoke with a clear voice. "There was a criminal organization looking for a gem – _Pandora._ "

The detective listen to his tale carefully, his heart beat with the magician's words in reverence as he continued. _Pandora_ was apparently a gem who bestowed immortality to its wearer when the Hailey Comet appeared in the sky. The gem was hidden within another and glowed red in the light of the full moon.

The entire story felt unreal, like something out of a fairy-tale or a cheap manga. He did not question it, as Kaito's word rang with the truth, without any deceit. And frankly, it was far too implausible to be fiction. This explained so much about the magician and _Kaitou KID's_ actions, and Shinichi was flattered that Kaito had chosen to tell him. There were no longer any secrets between them – well, mostly, since Shinichi had not imparted with the full version of what happened to him, but that was a story for another time.

He licked his lips, the curiosity burning within him as he finally voiced the question, all the while having a tightness to his chest with the knowledge that Kaito had done all this practically alone without allies, while he'd had more than he could count to rely on – regardless of any of them actually knowing the truth of who he was, he had always had most of the police and FBI to trust. "Did you find it?"

The vocal response was a few second late, unnaturally so, indicating that Kaito had originally nodded his head as he forgot that the detective's vision was obscured by a blindfold.

"I did, a year and a half ago. I destroyed it," he continued before Shinichi could ask, and continued the story telling how Suzuki Jirokichi had been the one discovering it in a four-thousand-year-old previously undiscovered tomb in Mesopotamia on one of his crazy menopause adventures. That was how Snake and the organization he worked for had not gotten their hands on it yet. And it was only by pure luck that Kaito had been the one to get his grabby fingers on it first.

"I couldn't believe my eyes when I first saw it," the magician's voice was low and filled with awe as he described the jewel, "I had expected it to be just another failure. But there, within the _Moonlit Princess_ was the red glow of a second gem. It was nothing like the crimson red I had imagined it would be, instead it reflected the fire of a red sun."

He had not destroyed _Pandora_ immediately, rather used her as bait to lure Snake and the organisation into a trap. It suddenly prickled with familiarity in the back of the detective's mind – there had been something about a fall of a second organisation in the weeks after his first stay in the hospital, after the fall of the Black Organisation. He had not paid it much attention as the CIA and FBI had been preoccupied hunting down the rest of the members of the BO, and they had assumed the second group fell, weaken after the connections between the two was cut.

There was a silence in the car for a long moment after Kaito finished his tale, as the detective needed a little while to soak up the new information, and the magician was too far gone reminiscing the past.

"Why didn't you arrest me? Earlier I mean, before you learnt the truth behind my reason for picking up the mantle of Kaitou KID."

Shinichi glanced in the direction of Kaito, although he could not see his facial expression, he could tell the magician's eyes were glued to the traffic in an attempt to hide the nervous but curious expression reflected in his tone of voice.

"Because I know you," he responded a mere moment later, letting his head fell back towards the seat as all tension drained from his shoulders he had noticed he had been carrying for the last few days in anticipation and worry – there had always been that one niggling doubt that maybe, just maybe, he could not approve of Kaito's motivations. His mind flashed back towards all those months ago at the party when they had briefly discussed the topic of what reasons lay underneath Kaitou KID's drive. He wondered for a moment if Kaito had tried to hint to him then. "I'd like to think myself a good judge of character, Kuroba. Jumping to conclusions on this matter would be entirely unfair to either of us."

He could hear the ruffling of clothing as Kaito shifted in his seat, and when he spoke his tone of voice with a lingering emotion of fond affection. "Thank you."

Shinichi's heart fluttered in his chest, and he felt a warmth spread within unbiddenly for a reason he could not phantom. Of course he would thread carefully when it came to judging the actions of someone he considered a dear friend. He was no fool – he would not break up relations easy and most likely based on fallacy without getting the full discloser. Kaito had owed him that much at least.

"No need. I'm the one who should be thanking you: you saved my life," his lips quirked upwards as he continued, "again. I think I'm obligated to do as much at this point."

"We really should stop making this become a habit," Kaito shot in, there was a lightness to his tone, indicating that he too had started to relax as the seconds ticked by and Shinichi did not seem inclined to throw out any accusations of 'why didn't you tell me before?' or something akin to how Kaito was a lying bastard for not disclosing this secret earlier. He sounded almost surprised at how the detective was soaking in the information and the revelation so calmly – and the detective felt marginally hurt how Kaito kept anticipating him to push him away at any current moment. Regardless of the fact that he had done so while he was hospitalized, and guilt started to gnaw in his stomach as he pushed the downward spiralling of his thoughts firmly away. Now was not the time nor place for melancholy.

"Don't count on it," he grinned in response instead, and they shared a chuckle that filled the car with amusement that surprisingly did not feel forced from the detective. There was something about Kaito that somehow put him in an automatic better mood and kept him from mulling over the murky angles of human nature and the world, as well from his own dark thoughts. Shinichi did have a tendency to overthink and overanalyse every prospect of his life and interactions with other people. It was the unbidden consequences of being a homicidal detective whose sole purpose and job was to bring to light the ugliness of humanity.

Knowing the two of them – they would definitely land in some sort of trouble again sooner or later. Shinichi did have an uncanny ability of getting into perilous situations, and this time he knew Kaito could handle himself without difficulty. He would lie if he said it did not lift a weight from his shoulder. The guilt of unintentionally bring danger to the magician had still been lingering in the back of his mind for months – and that it would be his fault if something ever happened to Kaito.

"Where are you taking me?" Shinichi asked eventually, his lips dry and restlessness itching in his body from being seated too long.

"We are almost there," was the only cryptic response, and the detective sighed, resigning to the fact that he would only find out when they finally reached their destination. Kaito must have taken pity on him as he continued with what sounded like a teasing grin on his face.

"Don't worry, we are soon there."

"If I got a penny every time someone told me that, I'd be rich," Shinichi grumbled in response, but did not ask any further. Instead, he listened to the noise from the outside of the car, and Kaito did nothing to prevent him for trying to guess this time. As they continued on their journey, he started to pick up the sound of music in the distance. It was a rather distinctive song. If he remembered correctly –

Frowning he sat and he turned his head to scowl in the direction of the magician, not caring that he could not see the facial expression, and so let the disbelief lace his words.

"You aren't seriously taking me to –"

"Yupp," Kaito interjected with an entirely too cheerful tone that made the detective want to swat him. There was a certain delight in his voice that indicated he was impressed that Shinichi had figured it out, and his heart started to flutter from the unspoken praise.

"Can I take off the blindfold now?" he asked instead, since keeping it a mystery was no longer necessary now that he had figured it out. When the magician made an affirmative hum, Shinichi ripped it off his face. For a moment, the light was blinding, but it quickly disappeared as he stared out the window with a sinking feeling in the pit his stomach. Figuring it out was a different thing to actually spotting it with his own eyes.

For some odd reason, Kaito had kidnapped him and brought him…

To the circus.

The multi-coloured tents cut through the darkness as light illuminated from every one of them. There was a merry-go-around with mythological creatures to the immediate right, and behind the tent loomed a large Ferris Wheel. The feeling of utter bafflement followed Shinichi as the car finally came to a stop and they exited the vehicle. The place was crawling with people of every age, and the smell of popcorn, hotdogs and cotton candy tickled his nose. The ground was dusty and every few meters there was a candy wrapper on the floor.

It was not before they entered the place and Kaito won him a blue teddy bears from one of the booths that he finally dared to ask: "Why the hell did you bring me here?" he held the bear oddly in his arm as though it was a vicious creature trying to take a bit off him, and his eyes darted back and forwards in bewilderment and he could hear the sound of an elephant's trumpet in the distance.

Kaito did not respond immediately, instead he took the detective by his elbow and gently herded him towards the closest cart with glow sticks and other odd artefacts you could wear that glowed in every shades of the rainbow. He declined wearing one, and Kaito only shrugged before putting on a braid with springy hearts that glowed red. The blinking red lights cast shadows across the magician's features and his eyes seemed to both glow and shimmer with contentment. It somehow looked both ridiculous and slightly adorable on him.

" _Kuroba,"_ he tried again to no avail, and he soon had to balance a teddy bear and a stick with pink and blue cotton candy with one hand. The magician did not look remotely dejected at his strict tone, and looked almost radiant with happiness as he gently led Shinichi from one attraction to the other as though he was just a lifeless doll in his hands that he wanted to show the enjoyment of the world to. They spent about ten minutes entertaining some kids with his magic tricks, and Shinichi could not find himself to feel angry at the magician any longer when the children followed his every movement with an awestruck expression and wonderment glittering in their eyes.

In the eight months that they had known each other, he had never seen Kaito so peaceful, as if a huge burden had lifted from his shoulders. It only took him a few more moments longer to realize there _had_. He had finally opened up and shared his secrets with Shinichi. The detective had always known there were something Kaito had been hiding under the buoyant and eccentric surface – however he had never prodded the issue after deducing that, knowing it could not be anything malicious, as everyone were allowed to keep certain secrets for themselves. The gods knew Shinichi had enough secrets lurking on his own, some which he would never disclose.

The magician looked relaxed now in a way Shinichi had never seen him before, and made a smile twitch on his lips in gratitude that for once he could be the one reassuring Kaito that whatever had happened in the past – the detective accepted it wholeheartedly. The exchange of trust meant the world to him.

There were no more secrets between them, and Shinichi felt the last of the tension that had been in his shoulders finally dissipate, as well as the murky mood that had brewed while he had been left with his own thought in the car. It had unbiddenly melted away, like dew on a window when the morning sun appeared – and only in hindsight did he consider the ludicrous of the comparison.

The exchange of trust and secrets was a huge relief for the detective also – he no longer had to hide his past that involved being _Edogawa Conan_ , as Kaitou KID had somehow figured out his true identity. They would have to talk about that one day, as he had been curious how Kaito had managed to deduce that ridiculous fact – what sane person could possibly think someone could de-age? However, that was a tale for another day, for now he was more than comfortable to leave it be as he enjoyed his rather sudden and odd visit to the circus.

He stopped struggling after that and went along with Kaito willingly as they finally went in the direction of the large tent - a performance was to start soon. The crowd got too tensely occupied at that point, and Kaito pilfered the teddy bear from Shinichi and took his hand lest they lost each other in the crowd.

It was a comforting warmth, one of companionship and the knowledge they neither was alone as they struggled against the stream. Shinichi's heart started to fluttering again, this time as a warmth spread across his chest in an unbidden affection. If it assembled the way his heart used to flutter around Ran a few months ago, he did not make a mental remark on it.

They finally found their seats, and their hands were still interlocked for a lingering moment before they retreated from each other. Kaito bumped his shoulder against Shinichi, and peered at him from underneath his eyelashes with a soft and tender emotion swimming in his eyes – it made the detective's mouth dry.

"This is why I took you to the circus."

Shinichi blinked slightly in response, and Kaito must have seen the confused expression as his lips curled up in a smile that lacked any of the characteristic humour or buoyancy, rather displayed only his fondness over the detective.

"Sometimes, we all need to take a breather. You more than any deserve it, working yourself to the bone to make up for everyone you believed you failed by arriving a minute too late to a crime scene." His lips quirked upwards in affection as he spoke, and Shinichi could not take his gaze off him – he was slightly disappointed over the fact that Kaito had once more concealed the mole underneath his left eye. "You cannot do everything, Shinichi, but you are amazing in the way you always try. You deserve only the best, and you really should stop overanalysing everything. It's not healthy. Besides, I don't think I've ever seen you smile like that."

Shinichi had not realized he had been smiling, and suddenly his cheeks started to ache, indicating just then how long it had been plastered across his face. His heart never stopped fluttering from both the magician's words and from the intense eyes, and when the show started, it took them a few moments to rip their gazes away from each other.

Shinichi was marginally surprised over how much he actually enjoyed the circus and the show. It had never been his kind of scene, but with the magician's warmth by his side and his soft murmur in his ears as he commented on an observation with a witty tongue – the detective admitted to be minuscule glad for the unprompted kidnapping as he would never have accepted if approached with an invitation. Although he would never admit to it, lest Kaito got into the habit of kidnapping him as a regular occurrence.

At one point the blue teddy bear appeared back into the detective's lap once more, and he did not relinquish his grip on the toy all the way until he returned to his apartment. It smelled of cotton candy and the carnival, of liquorice and sulphur from when the magician had borrowed it for one of his magic tricks to the captivated audience before the show, and a scent that was _purely Kaito._

 _…_

 ** _A/N: Okay, I lied about the clowns. But I'm sure they were in the vicinity._**


	6. Whispered

_Cheers darlings, slightly smaller chapter than usual. This is due to this being the second part of what was originally chapter 5. I added the first scene this week so this chapter wouldn't be too short. I decided to cut chapter 7 up in two also, as so far has turned over 10K, and I decided that is an entirely too big a piece to edit and edit and edit – meaning there are now currently 8 chapters, instead of the originally 6. Oh dear._

 _Special thanks to Addy01 and everyone who reviews and like my story._

 ** _Warning for: mild mature content_**

 _Wordcount: ca. 7.5K_

 _Published: 13. November 2016_

 _Please enjoy!_

 _…  
_

 _And the sign said "The words of the prophets_

 _Are written on the subway walls_

 _And tenement halls_

 _And whispered in the sounds of silence"_

 ** _Disturbed_**

…

 _Chapter 6: Whispered_

…

"When are you planning on asking her out?"

The subsequent sputtering was expected as Hattori Heiji's porcelain cup froze in front of his lips and his eyes turned comically wide at the question. The mug trembled as Heiji tried to reel in his thoughts, and for a moment it looked as though it would slip through his fingers and spill the hot liquid all over the detective.

Shinichi only batted his eyes stoically at the display with a smile twisting in the corners of his lips. He took a sip of his cup, and was marginally displeased by the successive sweet taste of overpriced tea that coated his palate. Whoever had prepared the tea, he would be sure to give them a stern talking to at a later date.

"This really isn't the time nor the place for that topic of discussion," Heiji finally managed to stutter when he became coherent again. He barely managed to keep his tone polite and refrain from hissing like a defensive rattlesnake.

"I think it's the perfect place for this conversation," Shinichi parried with a friendly hum, his eyes low as he peered at the Osakan detective through his eyelashes with a shimmer of mischief gleaming maliciously. "Anyone listening in to this conversation would believe we are just friends meeting up to catch up on each other's life."

Heiji did not look remotely appeased as he put down his porcelain cup with a yellow flower embroidery rather forcefully on the table. For a moment, everything jingled as gravity made everything jump. "Drinking freaking tea. I'm sorry, but straight men don't meet up at overly expensive café's to share a cuppa with a mate," he grumbled underneath his breath.

Shinichi could not find himself to disagree. He would rather have preferred a cup of coffee. "I did tell you that you didn't have to join me –"

"Of course I did," Heiji huffed, his eyes never leaving the golden liquid once as he spoke. "Drinking _tea_ alone is even more sad. Not to mention suspicious."

Shinichi's lips twitched upwards, no longer able to keep his features stoic from the amusement bubbling on right underneath the surface for the last fifteen minutes. His eyes gazed towards the open and busy crowded street just outside the barriers of the café. From this spot, they had a nice view of the entire area. The little teashop was on the ground floor, and the large buildings of Beika towered above them. To their right, they could barely see the north-west entrance to Haido Park. A zebra crossing cut through the oncoming traffic, and the detectives' eyes drifted across the crowd every few seconds.

"You are entirely too obsessed with your appearance. Some would call it vain," Heiji flushed at the accusation, but Shinichi continued before he could interject. "It's a common trait in animals when they try to attract a protentional partner. Their exterior façade, how people interact with them and not stick out from normal behaviour. It increases the chance of looking appealing. So I repeat, when do you plan on asking Kazuha out?"

Heiji's expression of displeasure was made clear by the tension of shoulders and the clenching of his jaw. He had crossed his arms in front of his chest which looked defensive. Flickers of dark emotions flashed across his features in a mixture of aggravation, fear, uncertainty and distress at the prospect. "I can't," came the soft reply, barely above the volume of mumble.

"Why not?" Shinichi responded immediately, picking up his cup and taking a small sip of the liquid.

Heiji thrummed his fingers into the flat surface of the table, avoiding the other detective's gaze. "What if she doesn't –" his voice trailed off, however Shinichi mentally supplied the last of the sentence with: _what if she doesn't return my feelings?_

He could not decide whether he felt a sting of sympathy for seeing his friend so distressed, or aggravated at how Heiji could clearly not see the clues in front of him that suggested – or even verified for that matter – that Kazuha was just as in love with the Osakan detective. It was slightly amusing how people tend to be so blind when it came to their own personal life – detectives more so.

"I keep telling you to confess your –"

"Let's talk about something else," Heiji cut in rather forcefully, his voice of tone indicated his anguish about the whole topic. His fingers curled into the fabric of his jeans, and for a moment a flicker of shame flashed in his eyes. Shinichi suddenly felt a sting of guilt over his persistence over the topic – as he knew his friend felt as though the scar on his cheek had ruined his face. Who could possibly want to date someone who was broken? Shinichi's stomach dropped at the prospect, as it was a feeling they both indulged in.

Shinichi decided to let it be, and a tense silence settled over them. Reaching for his cup, he fiddled with the hank. Their eyes drifted back towards the streets, gaze observant and scrutinizing as they tried to seek out any sign of misdemeanants from the crowd. They were not the only one from the police department hiding around. They had received a solid clue as to the place of a possible bombing. Shinichi had opted to sit in one of the café's, as a person with a cane would not necessarily go unnoticed by a crowd if he were to stand around for a long period of time or circle the same area.

"How's your boyfriend?"

Shinichi had to blink for a fraction of a second before understanding clicked in, and he shot his friend an unamused glare. "Retaliation is not how you properly deal with a situation you dislike, Hattori. It's immature."

Heiji pursed his lips, his hand convulsing around the cup he had between his palms. "It's surprising how you can still be so rigid after spending so much time in the company of Kuroba. I was hoping he was being a bad influence of you."

Shinichi lifted an eyebrow. "Are you implying I have no sense of humour?"

The Osakan's lips quirked upwards, and his eyes glowed as he picked up his tea to take a sip of it. "I'm not implying."

Shinichi was suddenly filled with the urge to throw the remainder of the liquid in his cup on his friend's face in childish revenge, despite only a moment earlier lecturing about proper behaviour. However, he swallowed the urge with the knowledge he had started their juvenile interaction in the first place, and let it slide.

Heiji licked his lips as he peered at him with a curious expression now that their usual teasing banter had subsided. "So you are not dating?"

Shinichi shook his head sharply, unsure whether he should be amused or aggravated at the inquiry. Truth be told, he was not entirely certain if Heiji was joking.

"Huh, I could have sworn. With Kuroba clearly being –"

"Can I borrow your phone?" he cut in and held his hand out in the direction of his friend, not interested in hearing the continuation of Heiji's mulling thoughts. He was not interested in knowing how his friendship with Kaito was perceived from an outsider's point of view – and suddenly he knew exactly how the Osakan detective was feeling whenever he prodded on the subject about him and Kazuha.

Heiji looked puzzled for a moment, before reaching down to hand him the phone. Shinichi grabbed it and nodded his thanks, before leaning backwards in his seat. He unlocked it with ease, and had no need to think twice as he wrote in the password. Heiji did not comment once at the display, and instead kept a lookout.

Finally finishing typing, Shinichi put the phone on the surface of the table with a stoic expression. He did not have to wait long, before it started to buzz. With a quirk of his lips, he accepted the call before Heiji could react.

The Osakan frowned at him in confusion. "What are you –"

 _"_ _Heiji –"_ Kazuha's voice drifted from the phone. There was a lightness to her tone, one filled with a mixture of hope and giddiness in anticipation. _"Why did you never tell me how you felt –"_

"This is Kudou Shinichi, if you'll give me a moment to explain, I'll give you Hattori."

There was only a second of silence from the other end, and he could almost feel the insecurity wafting from the woman. Shinichi's expression turned softer at that, and suddenly his heart sped up a second in guilt but he swallowed it down immediately. He had started this, and he would damned well finish it.

"I might have written that text message, but I promise you by the honour of my title as a detective, it's what Hattori feels about you from the bottom of his stubborn heart."

A strangled noise came from the direction of Heiji, before the table convulsed violently as the Osakan detective almost threw himself across it in an attempt to snatch the phone from Shinichi. Taking piety on him, he held the cell phone carefully in his friend's direction as though a ferocious creature was standing opposite him with the intent to maul.

The phone was pilfered from his grip swiftly and Heiji breathed into the phone with panic creeping in his tone of voice. "I swear to god Kazuha, this was all Kudou's fault –" He stilled immediately as the woman responded, and the pale expression on the detective's face shifted to one of bright red and his mouth popped open in disbelief. His eyes darted from Shinichi to the phone, to the floor, before he managed to stutter out a ' _excuse me'_ as he turned to leave for privacy. A chair was knocked over from Heiji's hurry.

Shinichi raked his hand through his hair, wondering for a moment what disastrous consequences would follow in his wake after this. He really did hope they managed to confess their feelings in a healthy way – Heiji and Kazuha as a couple with be interesting to behold. He doubted he was the only one who had gotten tired of watching them dance around each other for nearly four years now – especially since neither had shown any inclination of moving past their childhood crush. Perhaps all either needed was a forceful push in the right direction.

He let his eyes drift back towards the street and gazed on the oncoming traffic with a scrutinizing expression. He felt a headache brewing behind his brow at the entire debate, and he would have rather been out in the crowd on the move if he had the choice. It was easier to spot perpetrators when one interacted with suspects directly. It was just another thing Shinichi had been deprived off by his own hubris. If only he could travel back in time and make sure he never followed after Gin on that fateful evening.

He shook his head to clear his mind of the melancholic thoughts, and he started to thrum his fingers against the wooden surface of the table as restlessness itched across his skin. His eyes drifted across the crowd for the hundredths time, there was a marginal chance their intel and been mistaken – however, that did not mean anyone should not be vigil.

A woman with two small children clinging to her hands stood waiting for the green light by the zebra crossing. A large, American tourist with bleached blond hair was towering above the natives, and barely managed to not poke someone in the eye with his plastic map over the area from where he had made an abrupt stop in the middle of the crowded corner. Several young teens stood with their noses to their phones as they – presumably – were playing _PokemonGO_.

A man in his late twenties walked across the zebra crossing, a faded baseball cap propped down to his ears. He wore a light, brown jacket that reached his hip and chatted into a phone. As Shinichi was observing him, he suddenly ended the call, wrapped it in a piece of paper he had been carrying and threw it in the trash.

Alarmed, the detective sat up and reached for his police issued radio. "Possible suspect spotted on the 47th corner heading towards the north west entrance to Haido Park. A male in his late-twenties, approximately hundred and seventy five centimetres tall, wears a red baseball hat and a brown coat."

The static from the radio buzzed for a moment, before a female voice responded. "I have sight of the suspect. In pursuit."

Shinichi let the radio fall back into his pocket as he stood. He threw a few hundred yen bills on the table, picked up his cane and jacket and stepped out of the café after waving to Heiji, before heading in the direction of the trash can for the – possible – burner phone that had been dumped.

It was not before a few hours later, after the culprit had been arrested and given them instruction to how to catch the rest of his terrorism group in exchange for leniency on his jail sentence – that Heiji approached Shinichi again with a spring in his step and a blush adorning his cheeks.

"I'm going to catch the first train back to Osaka."

Shinichi barely looked up from the paperwork that was threatening to fall and burry them all. "Already?" he mumbled evasively, not paying much attention to his friend. When Heiji put a warm palm on his shoulder, he finally glanced up in surprise.

"Thank you, Kudou."

He did not get to bat his eyelids twice, before the other detective turned on his heels to walk away. He was mildly surprised at the tender vulnerability that he had noticed in his friend's tone of voice, and it took Shinichi a moment longer before he remembered what had happened back at the café. His gaze turned softer as he watched Heiji leave, with his heart palpitating in his heart.

It seemed as though he had been correct in his deduction that all either needed was a stern push in the correct direction in order to finally confess their long-harboured feelings. Moving past friendship relation was a difficult task after being friends for a long time – especially with the insecurities that it would not last and destroy something they both cherished immensely. Shinichi had gone through a similar situation with Ran.

"You are very welcome," he mumbled into the now empty room and he sat backwards with a soft sight. It appeared all of his friends were currently in a relationship – excluding Kaito and himself, and he rolled his eyes again over the assumption Heiji had made earlier and snorted at the ridicule of the notion.

…

The saltwater leapt against the stones scattered across the shore. Above their heads loomed a large red bridge, and in the distance they could hear the cawing of seagulls as they observed the people milling about. A half-naked woman had been dragged to land, and she lay awkwardly across the stones, lifeless. She was in her mid-twenties; she would have been partially attractive had it not been for the bloating and pale features from spending - currently – an undefined-time, in the water. Her red dress barely covered her torso, and was ripped on the bottom. She was barefooted.

Shinichi creased his nose in disgust as he watched a few younger officers lingering, he did not need to guess twice to deduce where their gazes loitered. Pursing his lips, he glanced in Takagi's direction, who stood further away writing down observations in his notebook.

"Takagi."

The inspector lifted his attention off the book to glance with curiosity and anticipation burning in his gaze "Kudou-kun?"

"Could you check between her toes?" he asked. Normally, he would have done so himself, however the stones were far too slippery for him to even consider taking a chance to try to balance on it – and he had also been banned to approach them by Megure earlier.

He did not hear the affirmation from the assistant inspector though, as his cell-phone started to buzz in his pocket. He fished it out, checked the caller ID, before accepted the call.

"Kuroba, I don't really have the time –"

His eyes darted to Chiba as he wobbled across the stones in a desperate attempt to keep upright towards him with a curious expression, and Shinichi was forced to lower the phone to answer their unspoken inquiry. "Her manicure is impeccable, but no pedicure. Implies she did not want people to examine her feet."

Takagi's expression cleared with understanding as he crouched down to do as requested by the consultant, but Chiba still looked puzzled at the reason behind the request and he followed to peer over his senior's shoulder as Takagi inspected the deceased.

Shinichi lifted the phone back to his ear, only to hear the rest of Kaito's sentence as he had clearly been singing something as indicated by the melodic tone of the remaining words.

 _" –_ _to you~!"_

Blinking in confusion as to why the magician would be singing in the first place, he responded with a swift tone of voice hiding his bafflement. "Sorry, could you repeat that?"

Once again, he did not catch the response, as Takagi voiced his findings blurred over the reply from the phone. "There are needle marks."

Shinichi nodded as his deduction was confirmed, and Megure who had drifted towards them, announced with gratitude. "As soon as the M.E. identifies her, I want you to go and see if she has any drug arrests and check out the local rehab centres."

Now that that had been settled, Shinichi turned away to withdraw from the scene for some privacy to find out why Kaito had called him.

 _" –_ _birthday."_

The detective frowned down at the phone with his heart hammering in surprise. Had he forgot someone's birthday? Guilt flooded through him at the suggestion, he never forgot any important dates - his friend's birthdays especially. The idea that he had done so now made his stomach coil painfully as his mind churned in desperation trying to dig through his mental calendar

 _"_ _You are not listening to me at all, are you?"_ Kaito sighed with exasperation into the phone, snapping Shinichi out of his thoughts.

Swallowing, the detective hurried to respond. "No, I – sorry. I was busy, what did I forget? Whose birthday is it?"

There was a moment of silence from the phone that made Shinichi crease his brows in confusion and worry. Had he really forgotten something important? When Kaito finally spoke, his tone was filled with a mixture of bewilderment and adoration.

 _"_ _It's_ your _birthday."_

The detective froze for a moment, before frowning down at the phone to check the date. The _Fourth of May_ blinked up at him and he carefully placed the cell back to his ear as he mumbled an incoherent response.

" _Speak up,"_ the magician interjected with humour, though utter surprise was still lingering in his tone of voice. " _Did you honestly forget it was your birthday?"_

Clearing his throat, Shinichi had his gaze glued on an oval stone below his feet – having an urgent need to lower his eyes despite not needing to hide from any scrutinizing gazes. "I don't have a habit of memorizing unimportant events."

Kaito guffawed into the phone. It made the line rattle with noise and the detective lifted the cell a few centimetres from his ear lest he got deaf from the sudden sound. The magician's voice was suddenly soft as he spoke, and Shinichi's heart fluttered in surprise.

 _"_ _How is that not an important event? It's the day you were born into the world."_

Shinichi's mouth turned dry and he swallowed weakly from the tenderness reflected in Kaito's words, feeling rather odd about the whole ordeal. Why was everyone so obsessed with the day of his birth? He had never seen the point of celebrating it with reverence.

"Kuroba –" he mumbled, feeling rather bashful and lacking the word to describe the oddly warm in his chest that appeared for no apparent or logical reason. He hadn't even been aware that the magician knew the date of his birthday.

Kaito suddenly cleared his voice sharply, and his voice increased in volume as he spoke with a clearer tone in order to break the unbidden tension that had settled between them. " _Have you spoken to Ran yet? Surely I can't be the first one to call you today."_

Frowning, Shinichi lifted the phone from his ear again to peer down at the object. Kaito was correct, he _did_ have an unanswered call from Ran. He immediately remembered that he had declined to answer the call earlier as he had been in an important meeting at the time, and then must have promptly forgotten about it. His heart fluttered again as he realized he had not given it a second thought before answering the call from the magician, despite the detective being too occupied at the time– only to give a verbal response that he was busy. Vertigo swam in his eyes for a moment and he swallowed down his confusion.

Why had he picked up the call from Kaito and not Ran? In the past, he had always answered his childhood friend immediately regardless of whether or not he was busy.

The sudden switch of allegiance and concern baffled him. Just a month and a half ago he would have answered Ran and let Kaito's call go to voice mail, when had the constancy changed in his life? It had always been _Ran_ , and the sudden change should set off alarm bells in his head and panic flooding his systems. Instead, he took in the change with calm, as it only felt natural. Some time in the last few months, his heart was no longer fluttering at the mere thought of her.

He let a small smile curl on his lips in relief at the proof that he had finally _finally_ started to move on. It had happened unbidden and unexpectedly by the detective, and he would be the first one to admit that he could be rather slow at recognizing his own feelings.

"No, I was too busy to answer when she called. I'll call her later," he spoke with a softer tone than he intended. There must have been a lightness of his tone or perhaps giddiness, as Kaito made a surprise noise in the back of his throat.

 _"_ _Did something happen?"_

Shinichi shook his head, his heart still fluttering – before remembering that the magician was not there to detect the tacit response. "Nothing is wrong," he breathed out, a content tone spiking his voice. "I just made an epiphany." He leaned back on the balls of his feet and glanced up at the over-clouded sky overhead. The sun barely managed to shine from behind the obscuring clouds every few minutes, and the sunlight felt warm and comfortable every time it shone down on him.

" _Which is?"_ Kaito prompted with curiosity, and the detective could imagine how he was frowning into the phone at the revelation.

"I've matured," he responded cryptically with a grin twitching his lip. There was a short pause as the magician tried to decrypt the encoded message. He was not lying, it felt as though he had. For over a decade, Ran had been the only woman in his life he could imagine being with – growing out of the affection felt as if a burden had been lifted from his shoulders and he could finally be the friend she deserved. It was a freeing and refreshing thought.

 _"_ _Are you calling me old_?" Kaito finally responded with a confused frown. _"I'm only 11 months older than you –"_ there was another short break. " _Do you even know when my birthday is?"_

"Twenty-first of June," Shinichi responded smoothly to the gibe. "I remember important dates."

The magician huffed into the phone, sounding both exasperated and fond. " _You are impossible."_

The detective did not miss a beat before grinning as he interjected briskly. "Isn't that why you love me?"

There was a moment of silence before Kaito spoke with a low and lingering tone. _"True."_

A flush crawled up from the detective's neck in response, and his eyelids fluttered. His heart was hammering in surprise from the clearly unintended tenderness from the magician, and for a moment he was not sure what to say or do. His mind was still stuck on the realization he was no longer pining over Ran, and so he was not sure how to digest the answer to his teasing words. He cleared his throat and he turned his head back towards the crime scene – for a moment there he had completely forgotten where he was as he had been too absorbed in the conversation.

"Listen, I should go. I'm still at a crime scene –"

 _"_ _Wait, hang on. You are working on your_ birthday?" Kaito's tone rose in disbelief, as he clearly could not imagine why anyone would voluntarily spend their birthday anywhere near a dead body. _"That's not a way to celebrate your –"_

"I forgot about it, alright?" Shinichi flushed at the magician's outrage and clear worry over his sanity, he bit down the urge to say _I love my job, why wouldn't I do what I love on my birthday?_ As it would only make Kaito question his rationality even more.

 _"_ _That's it,"_ he groused out with a commanding tone. " _I'm going to come pick you up and do something appropriate and fun, as we haven't decided on a date for your surprise birthday party yet."_ There was a moment of silence, before the magician swore under his breath. " _Forget what I just said."_

Shinichi mimicked locking his mouth all the while, trying to keep the laughter bobbling in his throat from escaping. For all Kaito's expert of keeping secrets, he had a habit of blurting the less vital ones out once he was excited. It was quite endearing. "I have no idea what you are talking about," he replied dutifully.

" _Good,"_ he hummed in relief, and there was a clear smile in the tone of voice. " _Now, where are you –"_

"Kaito," Shinichi interrupted, only realizing a second later that he had used his friend's first name by accident. Swallowing it down, he continued. "I appreciate the gesture, but I don't have time today. How about tomorrow instead?"

There was a short, clearly disappointed silence from the other end of the phone. When the magician finally spoke, his tone was light to hide the dissatisfaction underneath a cheerful voice. " _You better, or I'll booby-trap your apartment with party-poppers."_

Shinichi's heart fluttered again as warmth spread in his chest, leaving a tingle of bliss from Kaito's persistence – of wanting to spend time with the detective to the point of being disappointed when their plans did not align. It had been a long while since Shinichi had had the opportunity to celebrate his birthday as himself – or at all. Truth be told, he looked forward to every interaction he had with Kaito – and though Kaito had not needed to call the detective just to wish him a ' _happy birthday'_ , or sing for that matter, it made Shinichi smile with fondness that he did so.

"I'm half inclined to believe your threat," he hummed with a blush blossoming on his cheeks, "I normally have a policy of not giving in to terrorism. But I think I might relent just this once for the sake of protecting my apartment."

" _Smart choice,_ Meitantei," Kaito grinned in response though there was a hint of satisfaction, and Shinichi's lips quirked upwards as they fell back into familiar steps. The magician never let him down coming with quick and witty replies no matter what the situation. Their friendship was easy-going and fun, and he would not change it for the world.

…

That was how he found himself sitting on the neighbour's couch the day after, with confetti in his hair, a disfigured birthday cake which Kaito had opted to try baking rather than have a store-bought one. Shinichi appreciated the gesture, all the while trying to keep from grimacing every time he took a bite of the tart and slightly burned slab.

They slouched on the furniture, while _The Princess Bride_ played on the television in the background. Shinichi was holding a bottle of beer in his left hand, and he felt a comfortable buzz in the back of his mind – long since lost count of how many bottles he'd had.

"I really needed this, thank you." He shot his friend a lazy smile. Feeling the tension and the ever-present headache brewing behind his brows from the stress of multitasking his consulting job and school subsiding. He had been better at taking some time on his own as Kaito had suggested – but more often than not, the magician would steal him away if he thought the detective looked tired.

Kaito hummed in agreement, and lifted his own bottle to clink it against the detective's. "For peace and quiet."

Shinichi's eyes drifted back to the screen, though his attention kept going back to Kaito's warm presence next to him on the couch. Deciding to give up pretence of watching the movie, he spoke the first thought on his mind.

"Don't you have an exam on Tuesday?"

"Yeah, in Aerospace engineering. It'll be a breeze though, as it's only a theoretical exam rather than a practical one."

The detective's lips twitched in amusement. "Only you'd say that topic is easy, Kuroba," he succumbed to the desire to reach out and ruffle Kaito's mop of hair. The strands were silken and smooth underneath his fingertips. He received a smile that made his heart fluttering in response as he felt the magician's head lean against his hand. Shinichi only lingered for a moment longer before withdrawing and he turned to gaze back on the television.

There had been a noticeable shift in their relationship ever since Kaito opened up about his secret of being _Kaitou KID_. For once in the last nine months, he felt as though he truly knew the ins and outs of the magician, even though he kept doing unpredictable actions that kept the detective amused. He could not entirely pin down what made the magician tick, and it was refreshing. They had grown closer, even more so than before. And rather than worry for Kaito's safety of becoming a part of the detective's life. - he had been worried that Kaito would get drag into his brand of trouble like his other friends had. Now he could now no longer imagine _not_ having the magician in his life. The very thought was unthinkable.

"Hey," Kaito turned to peer at him through his eyelashes with a hesitate smile on his lips. "Do you have any plans for the summer holiday?"

Shinichi parted his lips to respond –

"And don't say you'll be working on cases for the police."

– and let his mouth clam shut with an audible 'click' and a flush adorning his cheeks.

Humour blazed the magician's eyes as he continued. "I know Ran and Sera invited you to their tour of America, but I know you aren't keen on the idea," his smile turned softer as he regarded the detective. "My mum's boyfriends have a mini-castle in France. So if you want – that is to say –" he bit his lips sudden as he looked uncertain as to whether or not to continue.

Shinichi's heart started to flutter in his chest again as a warmth spread across his insides. Truth be told, he had forgot about planning for a trip for the holiday – he had been too busy, and travelling alone was not ideal. He had already declined Ran and Sera's proposal, not because he was jealous – he was not anymore, and made peace with himself on that fact - , but out of the consideration that they would rather be alone on their 'honeymoon'.

"Kaito, if you really think you can handle spending that much time with me, I'd be honoured," he replied with a teasing smile on his lips, taking pity on the engineer student, his eyes dancing with appreciation of being asked.

The magician's eyes lit up as they always did whenever Shinichi spoke his first name, and a grin curled on his lips as he bumped his shoulder against the detective's. "I think I can manage to suffer through your company for a little while longer.

The movie eventually ended half an hour later, and only after checking the clock did Shinichi noticed how late it was. He creased his nose, not ready to head back to his own apartment just yet, but logically knew it was about time as he had planned to head in early to the police precinct in the morning - he had promised Takagi to take a look at one of his cold cases.

"I think I should head home now," he voiced his thoughts, though the clear emotions of _not really wanting to_ laced his tone.

Kaito tilted his head in his direction with disappointment. "Already?" he rose from the couch a moment later, not having any intention of arguing if the detective wanted to take the night. He grabbed some of the empty bottles of beer from the table as he did, and Shinichi could see a stagger in his steps as an indication of how clearly intoxicated the magician was.

"Do you want the rest of the cake?" he called from the kitchen.

Shinichi sweated at the offer, unsure if it would be rude to decline after all the work Kaito had been through baking him the cake in the first place. Before he could respond, the magician appeared back in the door frame with a rueful smile.

"I jest, the cake was terrible –"

The detective opened his mouth to disagree –

" – Don't lie," he chided as he could tell Shinichi was about to tell a white lie, "I'm going to use the rest to feed the doves tomorrow."

Shinichi's lips twitched at the image. "Are you sure they won't be poisoned?"

He got a mock-scowl in response. "Don't be rude to the chef. See if I'll ever bake anything else for you again."

He held his palms up in defeat, and his eyes were softer this time as he spoke. "Thank you though, I really appreciated that you tried – so, yeah – thank you."

Kaito's expression softened as a tingle of red flushed his cheeks. There was a moment of silence as they gazed at each other with a tender expression that made butterflies fluttering in the detective's chest and a shiver raked down his spine.

"You really are the best, Kaito. I don't know what I'd done without you," Shinichi lowered his eyes even as a flush crept up from his neck, masking whatever emotions that swam in his eyes as he could not recognize the feeling in his inebriated state. He opted to rise from his seat, and for a moment the room spun around him as blood rushed to his head.

He wobbled slightly and only held his balance by grabbing the back of the coach in order to blink away the white blobs obscuring his vision. There were sudden hands on his shoulders to steady him. He tilted his head to the side to meet the intense and slightly worried gaze of Kaito as a frown twitched on his brow.

"Are you sure you are in any state to walk home? You can take the bed, I'll sleep on the couch –"

"Don't' be daft," he replied rather hurriedly, his disloyal heart beating a step faster. "I'm not going to rob you of your own bed, Kaito."

There was a twitch on the magician's lips, and for a second Shinichi could clearly read Kaito's joking suggestion that they shared the bed flash across his eyes. However it was squashed down as his features twisted into an expression that clearly revealed he was not appeased with the detective's answer. "Still, wouldn't want you to stumble down the stairs. At least let me –"

" _Kaito_ ," he repeated the name, only to realize a second later that he had kept referring his friend with his first name for most of the evening. "That's not necessary –" he grumbled out and inched away from Kaito in order to regain some breathing space. He was feeling odd as he gazed into the magician's face, his cheeks tingled and the warmth in his chest would not cease.

A flash of hurt flickered across the magician's eyes as the detective recoiled. He smoothed out his face a second later and he only gave a minuscule nod. "Fine, but I'm going to stalk you from the window just in case."

That produced a snort from Shinichi, and he grinned in response. "I knew you were a lurking creep, but we got a deal."

He lingered for a moment, before turning around and strode towards the door. He reached for his jacket, and took his attention away from the floor. It turned out to be a mistake when he suddenly stumbled when his cane tripped over a stray shoe. He suddenly lost the grip of his stick, and it went cluttering across the ground. Shinichi flayed his arms out trying to find something to hold on to before his weak leg collapsed underneath him at the unexpected weight.

His fingers grazed soft cloth, before he clutched at it desperately. He fell two steps backwards and came to an abrupt stop as his back hit the wooden door rather forcefully. He exhaled sharply as his breath was wrenched from his lungs and for a moment stars flashed across his mind. He only noticed the warm body pressing against his chest a moment later.

He slid open his eyes as a jolt raked down his spine – _when had he closed his eyes?_ – to see the intense gaze of Kaito's eyes a few inches away. His entire vision was filled with the beautiful indigo eyes peering at him with worry, and this time he stopped breathing for a different reason all together. His heart fluttered like a thousand butterflies had invaded and his mouth turned dry.

The unmistakable scent of liquorice and vanilla that was pure _Kaito_ filled his nostrils, and he let himself bask in it for a second, ignoring the ache from the odd way his arm had twisted between their body when he grabbed onto Kaito the same time the magician come to his rescue again. For the moment, he could not care about the sting of discomfort.

"Are you alright?" Kaito's words ghosted across his cheeks, producing another shiver down the detective's spine in the form of a warm and unbidden desire he could not recognize. The magician voice had gone hoarse and his pupils dilated in something else Shinichi could not name in his current state. His though process had long fled out the window: the stray thought of how beautiful Kaito looked – all dishevelled and with a flush on his cheeks from the inebriation and the sudden closeness – leached into his mind, and his fingers suddenly prickled with the desire to swipe his thumb softly against the mole under Kaito's left eye as it for once was not covered up by a concealer.

Shinichi parted his lips to respond – to say anything – and hoped dearly he still had enough breath in his cotton-filled lunges to voice a single word. Kaito's eyes darted towards the detective's mouth. A second ticked by, and suddenly they were inching forwards – neither knew who had instigated – and their lips met in a mash of teeth and tongues. Shinichi let go of Kaito's shirt to rake his fingers into the magician's hair as they deepened the kiss.

It was desperate and hungry, filled with need, and someone keened as their tongues tied in a battle of dominance. A familiar heat pooled in Shinichi's stomach and he let out a soft gasp in response to Kaito removing his mouth to both inhale a puff of much needed air, and to let his lips graze the detective's jaw with butterfly kisses – they sent a jolt of electricity in their wake. He bent his neck in a pant, and Kaito nipped a love-bite on his skin as he gracefully accepted the invitation.

Shinichi's heart wouldn't stop palpitating, and he felt light-headed as he was wrapped in a cocoon of _Kaito_ – the feeling of lips on his skin, the warmth from their chests pressed together, and rough hands suddenly dipped underneath his shirt that sent a sparkle of warmth tingling through him and he let out another lustful gasp in response.

His back suddenly arched as Kaito bit down on the junction between his neck and shoulder, and for a brief moment, his groin pressed against the magician's. This time a deeper groan was wretched from his throat, and he tugged on Kaito's hair so he could lick into the magician's mouth. He tasted of beer and the tart cake, but there was an unmistakable flavour of liquorice and vanilla that was pure Kaito.

The magician groaned into his mouth, and suddenly he was pushed against the door, the doorknob pressed against his hip but he ignored it as he succumbed to the waves of pleasure washing through him like an oncoming typhoon. Kaito grabbed his good leg and suddenly Shinichi was half lifted from the floor as he twisted his leg around Kaito's hips for better balance.

The magician only gave him a moment to adjust before he started to roll his hips forward in an unrelenting speed as their groins were rubbed together again and again. Shinichi could not do anything put hang on desperately as moans were forced from his throat, all from the electrifying pleasure filling his stomach. His jeans were impossible tight at this point and the fabric gave only more painful friction.

" _Shinichi,"_ Kaito panted out his name with such yearning and affection that the detective was forced to open his eyes again – he had not noticed they had drifted close – to meet the magician's gaze. They were ablaze with desire and lust that made Shinichi's heart fluttering wildly and his throat went dry. With a jolt of surprise, he remembered what was going on – he was in Kaito's apartment, _rubbing_ against his friend, exchanging hungry and desperate kisses. His mind had scattered into a thousand pieces again as lust and arousal thrummed through his veins –it had been so very long since he had been intimate with anyone.

Kaito's rotated his hips, and the new friction made him arch his back as the pleasure sent another wave of electric sparks, and the intense pool accumulating in his lower region felt as though they were on fire from the burning desire.

" _Kai –"_ he started to moan in response but it was shortly replaced with a thrived groan as the magician bit gently on his under lip. The pain suddenly cut through the haze in his mind, and he finally remembered the _wrongness_ of their predicament. They were two friends – both entirely _male_ – rubbing against each other in desperate eagerness, not to mention intoxicated, and suddenly his stomach dropped with a foreboding feeling and he pushed against Kaito's chest with panic bubbling in his chest. Once the magician realized what was going on, he would most likely be filled with revulsion –

Though the pressure was not particularly strong, Kaito let himself be pushed away. They were still so close, almost glued to the hips as the magician was still gripping his leg. The gaze that met him was still filled to the brink with desire underneath the inquiring expression, and a tongue darted out to moisten the lips. Shinichi's eyes lingered on them only for a moment before he yanked his leg free.

Kaito suddenly recoiled, and he could hear the magician's throat hitch as horror flashed across his eyes – he must have realized their predicament, and Shinichi's stomach twisted painfully as he lowered his gaze, not wanting to see the repulsion in his friend's eyes at what they had been doing just a moment earlier.

His heart was hammering too fast, and his ears buzzed as his thoughts were just out of reach. He did not want to see the disgust, possibly anger over letting Shinichi kiss him – why had Shinichi done that? He grabbed after his cane blindingly before turning to yank the door open. He did not look back to meet Kaito's gaze –he was entirely too afraid of what he would see – as he fled with guilt burning in his chest.

Had he just ruined a cherished friendship with Kaito? His eyes prickled and panic bubbled against his throat as he stumbled down the corridor, trying not to feel like the fleeing coward he was.


	7. Silence

_Hello darlings, forgive me my tardiness. I'm well aware I'm a little late, and thanks for everyone who checked in on me to see if I was still alive/and to chid me for being late. I've been really busy and... I just discovered_ Penn and Teller _existed (seriously, why this is not the best reality show contest thingy in existence is unreasonable! They never aired anything of them in my country :/) and I've pretty much just been binge watching, learning sleight of hand card tricks from youtube to dazzle my friend (so far… she's not that amused. Just glare at me accusingly whenever she can't spot me switching the cards out like I'm cheating. Pfffts. Critics you know?) and procrastinating reading to my end of the term exams._

 _I have some bad news, the next chapter won't be up before after my exams in December, as I honestly don't have time between studying, lectures, lab work, and family members visiting from America. I plan on rewriting most of chapter 8 to accommodate certain changes I did editing and adding in scenes in chapters as I posted them. Thank you for your understanding and patience._

 _Most of this chapter haven't been betaed, as 3.5K was added after I got it back. I'm also not very happy with this chapter. Special thanks to Addy01 and everyone who reviews and like my story. Seems like a struck a nerve with the cliché scene ending in the last chapter. Unoriginal, but who doesn't love them? :p_

 **Warning for: mild mature content**

 _Wordcount: 6.1K  
_

 _Date published: 22. November 2016_

 _We ran out of lyrics, this story wasn't' supposed to be longer than 6 chapters!_

 _Please enjoy!_

…

 ** _Chapter 7: Silence_**

Kuroba Kaito's stomach twisted in guilt as the door slammed shut behind the fleeing detective. He curled his left fist and smashed it against the wood. The tingle of pain shooting up his arm did nothing to subdue the agony in his heart. How could he have been such a fool? He should not have _kissed_ Shinichi, every logic in any book ever written told him that falling _in love_ with his straight, best friend was the most idiotic thing in the world. Not to mention that acting on it had been out of question.

He only let himself linger a few moments. The guilt twisted his stomach and a lump of bile rose at the back of his throat. He could still taste the detective on his tongue, his scent thick in his nose – Shinichi smelled like the dark, caramelised flavour typically associated with a good cup of coffee, an addictive and sweet scent Kaito could never get enough of – and his palms prickled with the phantom warmth teasing his fingertips. He clenched his jaw, willing to make it all go away.

Forcing himself away from the where he was rooted to the floor, lest he stared at the door for too long and succumbed to the impulse to chase after Shinichi. He stumbled across the apartment to press his face against the window to stare out in search for the detective, even as his heart beat painfully in his throat.

The window turned slightly obscured as his breath fogged the window white.

He did not need to wait long before Shinichi showed up in his view of sight as he exited the building. While he could not see the detective's expression, he could just imagine the revulsion and disgust that was sure to be on his face right now. Kaito's eyes prickled with unshed tears as his heart shattered into a thousand pieces. Halfway across the yard, Shinichi came to an abrupt stop – he had always had an uncanny ability of knowing when someone was observing him.

Shinichi turned his head an inch, and for a full moment, their eyes met before Shinichi shifted direction – choosing to leave campus rather than entering his own apartment building. Kaito could do nothing but watch as the detective disappeared from view with a sinking feeling that he had screwed up _everything_.

He remembered the first time he had spotted the detective through the window. His heart had leapt with alarm at the thought the police had started to close in on him. The second thought that had entered his mind was utter relief. The last time he had seen Shinichi, he had still been _Edogawa Conan._ It had only been by pure luck he found out that the detective had been hospitalized while Kaito had been scouring for Nakamori Ginzo, who had been admitted for medical care for a fractured leg.

Kaito remembered with vivid memory of the small body wrapped up in bandages and tubes, and Conan's heart had only given out a pitiful peep on the EEG machine above his head.

The moonlight magician had rotated between peering down at the detective in worry, and making sure Nakamori Ginzo did not try to sneak out on a broken leg. Honestly, for an old man, the inspector should have known better than risking his life on an ice-skating ring. Kaito had only gone home for half a day after the discovery, and by the time he returned to the hospital room, there had been no trace that Conan had ever been there. Instead there was an elderly man snoozing on the bed where the boy had previously lain.

There existed no paper trail that indicated the detective had ever been admitted, and any further investigation proved useless as any inquiries had been answered with a vague ' _Conan-kun went back to America'_. When Kudou Shinichi never made a public appearance a few months after, Kaito had imagined the worst – that his adversary had met his timely demise.

When the weeks passed after the detective first moved into the apartment and Shinichi made no attempt of approaching him – nor seemed to even realize the existence of Kuroba Kaito, he had started to feel at ease, that there was not an elaborate plan to catch him and that his appearance in the neighbourhood was just a cosmic joke from the universe.

Aoko had caught him staring at his new neighbour a few times, and had come to the wrong conclusion that Kaito had been _spying_ on the– very attractive – detective. Which, in this case was true, but not for the reason his childhood friend had believed it to be.

He had been mortified when their first meeting had been him flooring the detective with a snowball – and curse Aoko's slippery tongue when she had accidentally started to blurt out that _Shinichi was the hot neighbour next door Kaito had been sort of ogling._

 _He could only be thankful she had not had the chance to finish that sentence._

As they started to hang out, Kaito was pleasantly surprised to find out how much he genuinely liked the detective as a person. Shinichi had a sarcastic charm and a quick-witted tongue that endeared him to the magician – it had been one of the reason he enjoyed the cat and mouse game they had engaged in when they were Edogawa Conan and Kaitou KID.

Kaito was still on his toes now, though for completely different reason, and he was not one who would back down from a challenge.

Despite their casual acquaintance and only meeting by chance or through friends – Kaito enjoyed every opportunity to observe the detective closer immensely. He had been rather awestruck how Shinichi had calmly and methodically captured the two pickpocketing thieves on the train. Every movement was executed carefully to accommodate his disability and used it to his advantage. Kaito's respect for the detective had risen for being able to move passed – whatever had caused the terrible damage in the first place – instead of wallowing in self-piety as he knew many were prone to do.

Perhaps that was what had spurred him to reveal his talents as a magician – although he had originally been careful about that topic lest Shinichi discovered Kaito's night-time persona. The idea behind the card trick had been simple: _A stage is much like a warzone. You must read other's minds as if they were textbooks. The essence of the heart is the most prominent ingredient of success_.

Or as Robert Houdini said: _"Tricks dependent on thought foretold or divined are unquestionably the most striking in the whole range of conjuring. In truth, how is it possible to explain (unless indeed you know the secret) how anyone can know what you have chosen to think of, or even sometimes what you are going to think of presently?"_

He had taken a large chance with the trick, relied on his observations of the detective. He made sure that Shinichi picked the _Spade of Four –_ traditionally, the ace of spade was considered the death card, and the Chinese word for the number _four_ could also be pronounced as _death_.

He doubted Shinichi was consciously aware of the connection – it was a rather morbid choice, and Kaito had been pleasantly surprised that his gamble had worked at all. The delighted surprise on the detective's face had been worth it when he could not deduce the technique behind the seemingly improbable trick.

Edogawa Conan – or rather Kudou Shinichi – the detective that had pursued him relentlessly like a bloodthirsty shark in the past was far different than what Kaito had imagined. He had somehow expected that all brilliant child-geniuses turned detectives, shared traits with Hakuba Saguru with their dry and boring personality and the need to chase the truth and justice by any cost necessary in order to hinder the ever-present boredom (or so Kaito would like to believe).

Shinichi was nothing as he had expected – he was just as human as Kaito, with his vulnerabilities and passions that bled into different aspects of his life. The magician was not sure why he mentioned Kaitou KID at the party after Sera and Ran hooked up, however there had been a fragile expression on the detective's features despite the danger of the topic. Perhaps Kaito had only wanted to convey his understanding. Everyone, behind their chosen masks and professions, were human with their own drives and motives – and vulnerabilities.

It had only been pure luck that Kaito had even spotted the detective in late December. He had a bout of insomnia after his return from France and was ailing from jet lag. He had been sitting down, assembling a small model of an aircraft to keep his fingers busy as he waited for drowsiness to overcome him. What had drawn his eyes to Shinichi's apartment that night– and he loathed to admit it at the time – was the view of a half-naked Shinichi fumbling about in his own apartment. There was a certain peacefulness and companionship knowing someone else was awake at such an early hour of the day.

The feeling of tranquillity was shattered shortly after, when the detective fell over after clutching his chest in pain. Kaito's heart had leapt out of his chair in horror at the foreboding feeling that something was terribly wrong settling in his guts. Barely taking the time to step into his sandals, he came down the stairs in three strides. He had barely felt the cold winter night, and the snow had soaked his socks and the ends of his pyjamas thoroughly by the time he picked the lock into Shinichi's apartment.

Kaito had almost frozen in utter terror at the sight of Shinichi laying in a pool of red vomit, eyes white and gasping for air. He did not remember calling the ambulance. All he knew was that the next few moments went oxymoronically too fast and too slow at the same as he had kneeled in the pool of bile and lifted Shinichi's head onto his lap to rake his fingers through his hair and face, and to make sure he did not choke on his own vomit. All the while mumbling with fear as he pleaded Shinichi to keep breathing for him just a little while longer.

By the time the paramedics arrived, Kaito's mind felt numb from the terror from watching Shinichi slowly fading away in his lap. He had never been so afraid nor felt so useless in his entire life – confronting criminals and guns straight on meant his quick thinking and reflexes could get him out of the dangerous predicament. And if he failed, it was due to his own recklessness. This on the other hand? He was powerless to save the detective.

He was originally declined from catching a ride to the hospital by the paramedic, however he managed to convince the paramedics that he was Shinichi's brother – thank Lady Luck that they shared certain similar facial features for the medic to not question it.

He had held Shinichi's clammy and cold hand all the way, his stomach churning at how rubbery it felt; how white Shinichi had looked underneath the artificial light in the ambulance. His thought had been a disarray of confusion of _why_ the detective had swallowed the poison – it had been the only logical conclusion at the time – and he had seen the pills scattered across the kitchen bench. He knew Shinichi loved Ran. He could tell in the way Shinichi gazed at her when he thought no one was looking.

Kaito had also noticed how the detective kept everyone at a certain distance, his demeanour and cynical sarcasm had the effect of pushing people away. But not Kaito, he enjoyed the challenge, but now he wondered if he had not tried hard enough – had wondered if Shinichi had felt so alone, so lost and so out of place in his own grown body. He had spent two years as a child, and built a real life there – and what had he come back to? Not Ran – the woman he had considered the love of his life, that was for certain.

Kaito swallowed thickly. He had once been in the same boat, feeling out of place in his role as Kuroba Kaito as he tried to keep his family and friends away from the scrutinizing gaze of Snake and the organization. But he had survived against the peril and managed to put his mantle – somewhat – away. He wondered that perhaps he and Shinichi had subconsciously been drawn to each other, from the shared experience of the pain and loneliness of hiding a different identity from the world.

He had vowed there and then, if Shinichi had felt lost and lonely before, Kaito would do whatever it took to make damn sure Shinchi never experienced those depressed feelings again. Perhaps two broken halves could fix each other? Shinichi's fingers had suddenly twitched around his at that point, and it had been the only response Kaito had needed as relief flooded his system and made his heart flutter.

Kaito had stood vigil by the hospital door for nearly three days, only going home whenever Ran took over the shift. Both silently agreeing that Shinichi needed to see a friendly face upon waking up – and although Kaito had only been publicly acquainted with the detective for mere two months, Ran did not question his steady presence by Shinichi's bedside even once. They spoke with hushed tones, and it was clear the kind and affectionate woman was in distress: blaming herself for not being more attentive.

The magician's heart bled watching her – he knew Shinichi had never meant to hurt her, regardless of the shadows and demons that had haunted and persuaded him to perform such an action in the first place. Kaito had tried to comfort Ran, but he did not know how, and every word leaving his lips sounded hollower and emptier for every hour that passed without Shinichi returning to consciousness.

When the news that Shinichi had woken up, Kaito had been so relieved. Ran had told him with a smile on her lips through the tears falling from her tired eyes, and Hattori had sent her home – he had arrived a few hours previously, and taken up vigil by Shinichi's bed as the detective slept.

The next time Kaito visited and he saw Shinichi sitting on the bed, his heart had hammered in his throat in surprise and – surprisingly – guilt had suddenly started to gnaw in the pit of his stomach. If he had not been awake that night, then the detective would have died – would he be furious at Kaito for saving his life? Kaito firmly believed everyone had a right to live, and death of a person was a terrible thing – even if the person themselves instigated the cause.

Kaito decided there and then, he could live with Shinichi hating him for the rest of his life if it meant the detective would still be alive.

Of course, when the deduction, the mistaken assumption of suicide, had proven to be wrong – that someone had tried to _murder_ the detective, it had sent everyone in a mad dash of guilt trying to apologize, but Shinichi had refused to speak to anyone, even Ran. No one would blame him, and for two weeks, Ran's eyes were puffy and red from guilt and utter misery at the costly assumption. How had they, who considered themselves _Shinichi's friends,_ screwed up so badly? It was unthinkable.

And Shinichi, with his trust issues, had been let down by every single one of them.

Kaito had barely slept for over two weeks – feeling like such an arsehole for jumping to assumptions like that. Shinichi was in more than his right to refuse to see Kaito, and the magician had done everything in his power to keep to his silently vowed promises to not cause the detective any more grief – even if it meant staying away, regardless of the fact it was breaking his heart.

Even Aoko had looked tired even though she had not been as closely acquainted with the detective. Despite his originally pledges, when the despair had finally reached its limit– he just wanted to beg to be allowed to apologize, and to verify with his own eyes that Shinichi was in fact safe and alive – he did the only thing he could think of other than breaking in to the apartment – an idea which was foolish on hindsight, considering there were two detectives occupying the studio apartment then.

Finally mustering up the courage, and armed with takeouts – he had spied enough on the ins and outcomings of Shinichi's friends to know Hattori had a weak-spot for food – Kaito knocked on the door with dread gnawing in his stomach. For all the daredeviling courage he had possessed as the elusive phantom thief _Kaitou KID_ , it had deserted him in this instance, and he was half minded to turn around and walk away.

The door opened, and he was greeted to the sight of a wary Hattori Heiji, who hesitantly glanced at him, and back in the direction of the room Shinichi was occupying, before raising his eyebrow in question.

"Kuroba, I don't think this is a good time –"

"I just want to chat," he had pleaded with the Osakan detective. "If he wants me to leave, I'll never bother him again. Please."

Hattori had reluctantly allowed him entry at the sincerity in the magician's face and voice, and though Kaito could hear the Osakan walk to the kitchen, he was sure the detective would be listening through the door at the conversation to make sure Kaito honoured their agreement.

To say he had been surprised when Shinichi had accepted his apology was no exaggeration. He had been expected to be shoved out the door, and so after that day, Kaito did everything in his power to show that Shinichi had chosen correctly to allow the magician the chance to earn back his trust. Showing up at his doorstep with a movie and food two weeks later had been the second most courageous thing the magician had done – and once again Shinichi had let him into the apartment so Kaito could honour his promise.

Slowly, but surely, they grew closer – closer than before, and he could tell that despite the cool exterior, the detective was content with their growing friendship with the way his eyes lit up whenever they met.

Kaito had not noticed when it had happened, but at one point his feelings towards Shinichi had morphed into one of attraction. The realization had come suddenly while they were eating Thai food in the detective's apartment. He had said something which made Shinichi snort with amusement as laughter shimmered in his eyes, and suddenly, Kaito's heart had fluttered with the yearning to lean in and brush his lips against the detective's.

He had been thoroughly confused at the stray thought, but as he kept glancing at Shinichi at the corner of his eyes – observed the way the artificial lights overhead danced over his soft features in a dazzling and breath-taking sight, he had come to the conclusion that he really would not have minded following through on that desire.

He had thought it was only a passing fancy at the time, and that the feelings would disappear shortly as it was prone to do. Physical attraction from an aesthetic point of view was not unheard of – but he should have realized it was not the case. Especially since the yearning did not appear before months after being acquainted. He was attracted to Shinichi's dry and sarcastic personality, how he always came with a quick response to any gibe, how he saw through any deceit and lie and never tolerated inanities. Shinichi was calm and collective, but burned with a passion with his need to protect and to seek the truth.

The feelings did not disappear, rather they grew as the weeks passed.

Kaito had tried to ignore the growing affection every time his heart fluttered on its own accord as he spotted the detective moving around in his apartment, or when Shinichi waved at him when they met in the courtyard or how his eyes lit up when their gazes met. The quirking of his lips when he tried to suppress how impressed he was whenever Kaito pulled an unpredictable trick on him, or tried to not laugh when it failed disastrously and blew up in the magician's face.

Faster than the magician had anticipated, his whole world circled around his old adversary – and his heart would always beat that extra step whenever their shoulders brushed sitting next each other on the couch, or whenever Shinichi would unexpectant show up on his doorstep with a flush on his cheek from the chill air, and adorning a smile.

Kaito still clung to the desperate hope, that the feeling only came from the fact that it had been a long while since he let anyone this close in to his personal life. The only other he had as close friends were Aoko – who knew nothing of his secret identity, and Jii-chan – who was entirely too old to be a confidant in the life of ordinary, young adults. His relations with Hakuba had been slightly mended due to the fact he and Aoko was dating – although, at times they did still argue about different philosophical viewpoints. Having someone else he could trust – although not with his secret of being _Kaitou KID_ – was refreshing.

A few times they had been out together, Shinichi had stumbled over a crime scene. The entire thing had turned Kaito's stomach upside down with bile threatening to rise in his throat, however he'd had a chance to observe the detective's attentiveness to every detail and how swiftly and accurately he had been able to deduce the method of assassination and the culprit and the reason behind the murder. Shinichi was, without a doubt, an extraordinary individual, and Kaito could almost not believe how he had not been caught by the detective during a heist in the past.

Kaito had not realized how screwed he was until the evening they had all gone out to dance that night at the club. With Shinichi pressing against his side, and the scent of the detective – of dark caramel and coffee beans – washing over him, he had felt utterly comforted and happy as he gazed into the angelic features of his best friend. And even as he blurted out an _I love you_ , he knew the words were the truth. He had never known a person like Shinichi, who did not bat an eye when Kaito announced that he was _gay. Who was only annoyed at himself for not figuring it out sooner_. Just the memory sent his heart fluttering with warmth. Of being accepted for who he was.

How could anyone not love Shinichi _?_

 _…_

"Are you in love with Kudou-kun?"

Aoko had asked about a week and a half after the club. Kaito had barely managed to not spill the cup of tea he had been fiddling with all over the kitchen table. With a hammering heart, he peered at Aoko through his eyelashes with dread gnawing in the bottom of his stomach at the accusation. His childhood friend looked the picture of serenity as she leaned backwards with arms crossed. The sunlight filtering in through the nearby window glowing up the tip of her hair that resembled a halo made of radiant sunbeams.

"Don't be daft. Of course I'm not," he took his time to respond, not too fast and not too slow. Too rushed would be an indication he was lying, and taking his time to reply would suggest he had needed an extra second to come up with a suitable lie. Aoko had gotten entirely too sharp since she joined the police academy, and he could not decide whether he was proud or vaguely aggravated over that fact.

She did not miss a beat, and she only narrowed her eyes to watch him with a scrutinizing gaze. "I can tell you are lying."

He lifted an eyebrow at her statement, and she lowered her gaze with a pout.

"Alright, I can't _tell_ you are lying. But I know you are," her features softened and she regarded him anew. "A woman intuition if you like."

"You? A woman?" He started to snort, "Don't make me laugh –" he ducked an oncoming projectile in the form of a ball of paper, and flashed Aoko a grin. She did not look amused as a flush adorned her cheek and pursed lips.

"I'm serious. Try to be so also for just one moment, please?"

Kaito suppressed the urge to reply with a juvenile response – it was a common defence mechanism when talking to her. As though they were kids again. Instead, his eyes flickered up to stare at a spot above their heads, and he only gave a court nod. "I'm not though –"

" _Kaito –"_

The beginning of a scowl started to creep across his features, and a headache started to throb between his brows. With a sighed, he lowered his shoulders which had been rigid since Aoko popped the question. "I'm _trying_ to get over it. Alright? It's just a passing fancy. Shinichi is a reasonable attractive and witty guy –" he trailed off, trying not to add _beautiful, and brilliant, eyes more gorgeous than any gem he had spirited away, hair as soft as the most expensive silk money could buy, a smile that lit up Kaito's day brighter than what a thousand suns could, a jawline smoother than what Michelangelo's could ever possibly hope to reproduce –_

Aoko must have read something in his face, as she reached out a moment later to grab his hand with a sympathetic expression. However, there was a certain tilt to her lips that told him she was perversely gleeful to see him crushing on someone for a change. "That bad, huh? I bet you are thinking poetic thoughts about how perfect Kudou-kun is –"

"I hate you," he groused out without any real passion, and he trailed his free hand through his hair with a defeated groan. His heart fluttered in his chest, unsure whether he wanted to keep holding this conversation or bolt through the half open window.

"No you don't," she did not try to hide her smile this time. It only lasted for a few moments, before her expression turned soft again. "I had an inkling. It's been all _Shinichi_ _this_ and _Shinichi_ _that_ with you lately. I've never seen you like this –" Aoko stopped herself to bit her lip with an uncertain quiver of her nose in a way that indicated that she was deciding to voice her thoughts or not.

For being the daughter of an inspector, Aoko was as transparent as glass. Or maybe that was just Kaito knowing her so well.

"Why don't you ask him out?"

He lowered his eyes: finding a very interesting breadcrumb shaped like a mixture of a dog and a giraffe laying just by his toes. His throat constricted at his childhood friend's suggestion. "I can't," he barely managed to croak out a moment later.

Aoko shifted in her seat, and her fingers convulsed around the hand she was still holding. "Why not?" she licked his lips."

Kaito suddenly felt flushed underneath her scrutinizing gaze. His eyes darted to the side, silently calculating the distance and speed needed to reach the front door. He had not accepted her invitation just to be interrogated about his none-existent love-life. "Because Shinichi – Kudou is not, you know " he stuttered, all eloquent speech jumped out the window. He withdrew his hand and palmed the cup of tea in front of him. The heat bit into his fingertips.

"Oh," she mumbled with a softness. There was a certain flicker of sadness and guilt shimmering in her eyes for a moment before she lowered her gaze. "Are you sure?"

Kaito could only nod in response this time, not trusting his voice, and the bottom of his stomach sank to the floor. He was very sure about that fact, regardless of never discussing their love-life much. He knew Shinichi still had lingering romantic feelings for Ran, and then there was the case of the hundred or so pictures of potential date-partners Yukiko had hung in the detective's apartment – they had all been of attractive women – he had been sure he had spotted Shinichi's eyes trail over one of the few images containing the more revealing positions.

The third indication had been the day in the club. The detective had not looked remotely interested in the attractive, young, man approaching him then, rather his eyes had slid off the male immediately in indifference to the alluring picture he made. Kaito's heart had palpitated in his chest at the view – and to say he was relieved when the man stalked away would be no embellishment, regardless of not having any claim over the detective.

"Let's switch topic," Aoko murmured into her cup as she took a sip of it. Regret of voicing her deductions – about Kaito's feelings for Shinichi – read clearly in her futures, and he could not find it in himself to blame her for worrying about him. "I'm pregnant."

He spilt the tea across the table this time, and the warm liquid dripped down his leg as he let out a choked sound from the sudden revelation.

…

In the end, Kaito decided he would never tell Shinichi of his growing affection for him for fear of being pushed away, of ruining the one relationship that meant the most to him in the whole world. The detective had enough trouble to deal with as it was, without adding to the burden of having to double think every interaction they had in fear of threading wrongly and hurt Kaito's feeling by not reciprocating.

Being in love with Shinichi was not an emotion that consumed his day, it was more like a comforting whisper in the back of his mind. Sometimes the detective would say something that made Kaito's heart flutter with fondness, and other times he yearned with the impulse to trail his fingers across his jaw, but he learned to live with it. However, most of the time it did not change anything in how they interacted with each other. Being Shinichi's friend was more than he required from the detective – and Shinichi seemed to not want anything from Kaito in return for their friendship.

When he had gotten a distressed call from Ran telling him Shinichi had suddenly missed an appointment and not answering his cell phone – he always answered a call from Ran regardless of being busy in case of an emergency – his stomach had plummeted to the floor in dread. He had not thought twice before dropping everything he had been doing to help in the search – the images of finding Shinichi dying on the kitchen floor, and him lying on the hospital bed, flashing in his mind in alarm. He did not how what he would do if he lost the detective – Kaito had made his silent vow to _protect him_.

He was not sure how they had known Shinichi was just out of Yokohama – although, he suspected it had something to do with the tiny scientist he was sure was no ordinary child. His heart had palpitated in panic on the hour and a half journey – he had borrowed Jii-chan's car – breaking every speed limit. He had barely gotten there in time to see a man pointing his gun at Shinichi.

Kaito had not given it a second thought as he stepped in – given rat arse about revealing his night-time persona as the elusive phantom thief to Shinichi. He would gladly go to prison if it meant that the detective was safe and sound. He'd had almost a heart attack there and then, learning that Shinichi had purposely played bait in order to catch a serial killer. Just thinking about it sent his heart pounding in panic at the thought that something could have gone wrong – if he had not been there, the police could have arrived at the scene too late to save him.

Shinichi was a crazy individual, and Kaito swore the detective would be the death of him one day with his talents of getting into dangerous situations – not to mention the fact he actively _pursued_ them.

And then, despite the reveal that Kaito was an international and wanted criminal, Shinichi had not reported him. Instead he had taken in the revelation with a calm breeze. Listen to Kaito's story with that attentive and tender expression and had not judged him even once for his choices – despite the magician expecting a chewing out for the kidnapping attempt. To top it off, if it was even possible, Kaito could have sworn he fell just a little more in love at the peaceful expression on the detective's features that night at the carnival. He had been accepted, flaws and all, for the second time by Shinichi.

Ten months they had known each other, and loving Shinichi had become the most natural feeling in the world. Underneath the strong exterior, was a softness and vulnerability that he had slowly opened up to the magician, and as a gratitude for being trusted, Kaito vowed to protect and cherish him.

For the first time in his life, Kaito felt free knowing someone did not judge him – felt at peace being allowed to openly discuss the troubles of his past. He no longer needed to hold the fact he was aware of some of what happened to Shinichi as _Edogawa Conan_ – he had been curious about that story, but never dared to ask, even under the persona as Kaitou KID. The detective looked just as relieved that the last barrier between them had shattered and that they could be fully truthful with each other.

But now? With that kiss? Horror raked through him and his fingers shook against the window as he strained his eyes to see the disappearing silhouette of his friend. What had he done? He had ruined everything, all for his own selfish desires. If Shinichi never wanted to see him again after today, he understood it perfectly. It would break his heart, but he would not press his luck this time. This was different, this time he knew Shinichi better then he knew himself.

He had broken a trust he could never hope to win back. For that few stolen moments, he had been in heaven, touched and enveloped in the burning fire that was Shinichi. Everything he had yearned for for the past few months. A shiver raked down his spine at the memory of pushing the detective against the wall. Of pressing butterfly kisses across his skin, and hearing him groan and buck underneath him as he dipped his fingers underneath Shinichi's shirt to caress the soft and warmth skin- and rocked their groins together to create sparking friction that set every nerve in his body on fire from the pleasure. Of licking into his mouth in a battle of dominance as he had ached to do for so long – fantasy had nothing against reality. The memory sent his heart hammering with renew desire.

And then he had fallen down, further than ever before as though his wings had been clipped. He had been cast back into the darkness – one which felt grimmer and lonelier than before. The brightness that was Shinichi in his life had been snuffed out, and was now entirely too far away for him to ever hope to reach again.

Kaito's stomach dropped with ice-cold fear. He should have expected it – known how stupid he was being. He should have backed way, made a joke – anything else but that. However, his body and mind had not cooperated. All logic cast away as he stole the kiss he had been craving in the deep corners of his mind.

Lost, he sat by the window for a long time waiting for the better part his heart to come back, just so he could know that the detective was safe and sound. It felt as though all Kaito ever did, was to wait.

And so he waited…

…. And waited, but still there was no sign of Shinichi even long after the sun had risen and Kaito's eyelids inevitable slid close with the sinking feeling that things had changed irrevocably between them – and he dreaded the subsequent outcome of his impulsive and foolish actions.


	8. Sound

_Hello darlings. Alright, so I lied, I didn't rewrite the chapter as I intendent, just added a few things here and there. I could have spent a week or so rewriting the whole thing and change the end scene, however I decided not to. Mostly because I just wanted to get this entire nonsense over with and move on with my life!_

 _This story is credited to my grandfather, who died two days after I started. Rather than facing this issue, I spent the next 10 days furiously writing this piece of work with the urgency of:_ ifIfinishtheneverythingwillbealright. _Again, special thanks for Addy01 for editing, and Johnny for running commentary of "you did it, you are evil. Fix this right now" in my ear as I wrote this paragraph for paragraph. And for everyone who took their time to read, like and review._

 _Last chapter – goodness gracious, this fic was supposed to be top 20K long! And here we are reached over 60K – thank you for joining me on this journey, and I hope you all enjoyed this as much as I did writing it. A short PWP will be up in a few days in case anyone is interested (will be posted in a story on its own as I'd like to keep the rating relatively innocent).  
_

 _Without further ado – enjoy._

 _Wordcount: 5077_

 _Date published: 07. December. 2016_

…

 ** _Chapter 8: Sound_**

Despite the murmur of the crowd and the soft chimes from the stirring of porcelain cups, the silence between them felt almost deafening. Ran heart was stuck in her throat in worry as she ached to reach out and comfort her friend – she was half afraid he would crumble if she did.

Shinichi's eyes looked hollow and glassy as they focused on something far beyond her grasp. The heavy bags underneath the eyes were a soft purple shade, almost resembling a fading bruise. His face looed sickly pale as though he was a doll made out of grainy papier-mâché.

To say that she was worried for her friend would be the depressive truth by the largest of margin. Mustering up her courage, she finally reached out to grab one of his hands in her own and she palmed it under hers, barely covering his larger hand. He felt almost cold to the touch.

"Are you getting sick?" she asked with a soft and worried tone.

Shinichi flinched, but did not withdraw his hand, and his eyes fell to their clasped hands. "No, I –" he mumbled hoarsely, and a flicker of panic flashed across his features.

Ran felt her mouth dry and she squeezed the hand in reassurance. "Then what's going on, Shinichi? We are all worried about you." She stared intently into his face in the hope she could see through the cracks in his physique and read his mind. She had always been worrying about him for as long as she could remember. Beneath the hard exterior that he exuded to the world, he had always been a lost, little boy, no matter how strong he acted. He was not the kind of person who bothered people with his problems.

It had been especially difficult since his return from being Edogawa Conan, and he had finally told her the truth. She had been entirely too worried and relieved he was alive to muster the energy to be angry at the deceit. She loved him and she would always do. She had even held on to the dream, that once he came back, the balance of the world would right itself and everything would turn back to normal.

Only it hadn't. Somewhere along the road, her feelings for him had morphed into one of sibling-love and she had accidentally fallen in love with Sera Masumi instead. Shinichi had noticed it before she had even realized her own feelings. Breaking up with him had been one of the hardest thing she had done in her life – ever since she was six, she had imagined it would be the two of them against the world. Her future had been ripped apart and she had tumbled into uncertainty, even as Shinichi, an ever present warmth comforting at her back, promised to never leave her side again.

And then, against every odds, and out of the blue, Sera had confessed her feelings for her and the world regained its colours back. She could have never imagined she would be able to find her soulmate and that she was so close by, and her love for the female detective could never compare to what she had once felt towards Shinichi.

"I – I did something I shouldn't have," he finally replied with a soft, pained tone, and her heart ached for him, wondering what could possibly bring such a self-loathing feeling in her childhood friend. He looked as though someone had died – and maybe someone, or something, had, metaphorically.

"What happened?" she asked again with a soft, gentle tone in order to not scare him off.

Shinichi looked down, and then withdrew his hand as he leaned back against the chair. She could see his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed to gain a few more seconds to gather his thoughts.

"I –" he glued his gaze to the ceiling, and his fingers curled into the fabric of his pants. "I kissed Kai- Kuroba."

Ran blinked, surprise making her heart leap into her throat. She fluttered her eyelashes for a moment to peer through them at him with a scrutinizing expression now that she knew what had been eating on his mind. There was no anger in his expression. Rather: _Despair, guilt, shame_ , - but no disgust - over the fact that he had kissed his _male_ friend.

For a second, she flashed back to the memory from all those months ago, when she had jokingly commented what an odd couple they would have been if they were both attracted to different gender all together in the end. Perhaps she had not been entirely wrong in her off-handed remark? But no, she had never seen Shinichi show any inclination of being attracted to men.

She picked up her cup of latte and took a careful sip. Ran was well aware of Kaito's own feelings for the detective, had in fact corned him about it a month earlier. He had tried to deny it, but she had seen straight through it. It was obvious in the way he glanced in the direction of Shinichi when he thought no one was looking with a tender expression. He was always so attentive, making sure the detective never want for anything and managed to produce a smile from Shinichi whenever her friend so much as started to frown.

Ran had thought deep down that it was too bad her childhood friend was not interested in dating men, had never seemed to be interested in anyone but Ran. Her heart had fluttered with guilt every time she noticed him looking at her with longing. However, slowly over the last few months it had subsided until it disappeared altogether. She had been relieved as she had never meant to break his heart.

Perhaps Kaito had replaced Ran in Shinichi's heart? She hoped so, but now she had to thread carefully to figure out how deeply the detective felt for the magician.

"I see," she finally cleared her voice when he did not seem inclined to continue. "How was it?"

Shinichi went rigid in his seat, eyes widening as a mixture of emotions, too fast to read, flickered across his face. He lifted a shaking hand to rake it through his hair. "Dreadful – terrible," he mumbled with a quaking voice, "I screwed up majorly Ran, so I fled. I couldn't – I didn't –" his voice trailed off in a jumble of panicked stuttering.

Ran creased her eyebrows in a frown, and put her cup back on the table. "So you didn't talk about it with him?"

His eyes finally darted to her face with fear, unlike any expression she had ever seen adorning his features. He had always been so proud, keeping his emotions at check, always stoic and brave in any situation. It made her heart ache to watch him so despondent like this.

"You didn't see the horror in his eyes," he lowered his gaze again. "I couldn't face him: I'm a coward."

She made a non-committal hum in response. So Shinichi had fled the scene and did not know Kaito was actually in love with him, or at least she did not think the idea had crossed the detective's mind. For a supposed genius, Shinichi could be so clueless about his own feelings and how other people thought about him. Or perhaps he was just simply too afraid to acknowledge what his subconscious was telling him from the fear of being rejected again.

She licked her lips slowly, wondering how to phrase the next question. "What about you then? What prompted you to kiss him in the first place?"

Shinichi blinked for a second, and his arm dropped from where he had started to tug on the hair in the back of his neck. A frown creased his brow, and she could clearly see the moment he started to open his mouth to ask why that was important.

She cut him off with a: "humour me."

There were a few moments of silence and Shinichi's eyes darted back and forward as the wheels in his mind worked on overtime. The tension slowly drained out of his features as his gaze finally settled on the cup of coffee on the table in front of him.

"I don't know, Ran. I honestly don't know why I did it," his voice was low and slow as he spoke.

She smiled softly in response. "Just tell me this, did Kuroba-kun kiss you back?"

The subsequent flush creeping up from the detective's neck was all the answer she needed, and she swallowed down the urge to hum in victory.

"I think you should go talk to him. You never know –"

"No," Shinichi interjected, his face paling once more as panic started to creep into his eyes. "I can't –"

" _Shinichi_."

He shut his jaw immediately with an audible 'click' at the strict tone, and another flicker of vulnerability shone in his eyes.

"If you cherish your relationship with Kuroba-kun, go speak to him before irreversible damage is done. Even if you don't know your feelings towards him, or why you kissed. _Please_ , do it for me?" her heart fluttered in both anticipation and uncertainty on whether Shinichi would listen to her. She never wanted to see him in pain, and he seemed to be so utterly miserable right now.

All his will to fight drained out of Shinichi, and his eyes were locked onto his mug as a twirl of emotions flashed in his features. In the end, he only gave a slight nod in answer.

Ran smiled softly, and reached out to brush her fingertips gently across his cheeks, his eyes flickered up to meet hers. "No matter what happens, Shinichi, I'll be right here for you. Trust me, I'm sure Kuroba-kun could never hate you. So sweep those ideas right out of your mind, you got it?"

She received a small, tender smile in response.

…

The rushing of blood in his ears almost blocked out the knock on the door. His heart was pounding in his throat and he swallowed thickly. It was almost a week since the last time he had been here. Like the coward he was, he had fled back to his childhood home to hide, entirely too afraid to accidentally encounter Kaito if he had stayed on campus.

Shinichi had never been one to cower, choosing to rather throw himself into the midst of trouble. The fear that flooded his system was beyond anything he had felt before. For once in his life, he had chosen to avoid and hide, just so he could pretend Kaito did not hate him.

He waited for a few moments, but there was no sound from within the apartment. His heart sunk to his stomach at the realization he had forgotten to check if the magician had been home at all –or perhaps a small part of him hoped he wasn't so Shinichi could prevent the conversation from happening just a little while longer. He had made a promise to Ran, and though he did not believe in her optimism, he would never go back on his words.

He waited for a few more seconds, before he sighed and turned to leave. All those hours working up his courage to face Kaito – not to mention the half an hour or so he had spent just standing outside the door sweating, wasted.

"Shinichi?"

He stopped in his track, his throat convulsing and his heart hammering from hearing the familiar voice. He turned slowly around to watch the now open door with dread spreading in his stomach. Kaito stood in the doorway, an arm holding the door open as he peered down the corridor at the detective through the fringes of his hair. His black and blue stripped pyjamas hung low on his hips, and he wore a blue, baggy t-shirt Shinichi could have sworn had gone missing from his apartment a few weeks ago.

The magician's face was tight and carefully blank, not betraying any emotion, and Shinichi had to swallow down thickly at the sight. He opened his mouth to say something – a greeting, an apology, just anything – but nothing came from his lips.

Kaito watched him carefully for a full moment, before he lowered his gaze. "Why don't you come in?"

Rooted as Shinichi was to the floor, it took him two tries before his feet would obey his command to _move_. For every step he took, adrenaline started to shoot through him, and blood rushed thunderously in his ears. The fact that Kaito had not turned him away in the doorway should have felt like a victory. It did not feel like that though, as his stomach churned violently and the urge to flee prickled underneath his skin.

There was a high possibility that Kaito had only offered to let him in because the magician had only felt that he owed the detective a chance to explain, as he had done for Kaito after the episode in the hospital.

The click of the door behind him echoed forebodingly, and he kept his gaze glued to the floor as he tried to decide whether he should remove his footwear or not in case he was asked to leave within minutes.

"Why don't you sit?" Kaito spoke with a soft voice, and Shinichi's eyes finally darted in the direction of where the magician stood with his arms crossed. But rather than looking impatient, the action looked as if he was holding himself up lest he crumbled together into pieces.

"I think I'd rather stand," Shinichi replied after a moment, shoulder tensing as he did not step away from the entrance, entirely too much of a coward to step fully into the apartment.

Kaito lowered his eyes and only gave a minuscule nod, and for a second, the detective could see tears swimming in the eyes – it disappeared a moment later, so Shinichi was probably wistfully imagining things.

The silence that settled between them felt heavy and pulsating, and everything Shinichi had been rehearsing in front of the mirror had fled from his mind the moment he had laid eyes on the magician. He could not remember what he wanted to say, or what to explain, or what to apologize for. His eloquent and fast-working brain had, for the first time in his life, failed him.

"So, I –" Shinichi cleared his throat. "That is –" his voice trailed off in a bundle of a lost expressions and hesitating words as pain and panic burned in his chest.

Kaito's eyes darted back to him with a wavering expression, something dark flickered across his eyes, before he let his arms drop to his side. " _Shin_ – Kudou," he could see the magician's swallow thickly, "I didn't know where you had gone, I was worried."

Shinichi blinked in confusion, his lips parted as he had not expected that to be the start of the conversation, nor the soft-spoken words from Kaito that was laced with a mixture of concern, guilt, and sadness. He could no longer gaze at the raw expression on his friend's face and he lowered his eyes with a fluttering heart in confusion. Kaito had been worried about him?

"I – sorry," he breathed softly, feeling floored for apologizing over the wrong issue. He had been certain that Kaito would not want to even gaze at him again. "I went – I went home."

"I see, are you alright?"

The intense eyes in his direction felt wrong, why wasn't Kaito yelling at him – accusing him of being a pervert, throwing him _out?_ Surely he was not trying to be cruel and pretend to be sympathetic and kind? No, he shook the thought away a moment later as he _knew_ the magician, he would never be intentionally unkind, even if Shinichi was no longer considered a friend in Kaito's head.

Guilt constricted Shinichi's throat and unbidden tears started to prickle in his eyes. " _Why,"_ he managed to wrench from his throat, it came out as a pitiful and barely audible wail. It was too damn hard to speak, and he feared if he tried, he would start crying. His lips quivered with the need to ask _why are you so sympathetic and understanding and too nice even after everything I did?_

Kaito flinched, and panic flickered across his face as his nostril vibrated in distress. His arms came around to hug his upper-body once more in order to shield himself and his eyes glued to the floor – and only a second too late did Shinichi realize that the magician might have misunderstood his intention behind the question.

"Cause I – _dammit_ ," the words came out in a stutter , and suddenly, defeat crumbled onto his face as deep exhaustion settled in. "It was never supposed to be like this, Shinichi. You are, you are _you_ –"

Shinichi's heart broke all of a sudden on its own accord as it leapt into his throat. The rushing of blood was deafening and he felt nauseas as the room started to swim and pulsate in a disarray of colourful blobs. He had difficulty of comprehending as Kaito's words sunk in. Of course the magician could only feel sympathetic over the whole thing – of kissing the detective – because Shinichi was only _Shinichi_. Broken beyond repair, out of sync from the rest of the world, and he knew he could never change. Never become someone anyone would ever _need or want._ He had lost Ran, she had never really needed him.

He was simply only a part of the background, and there he would always remain, watching everyone moving on without him. He was stuck in the past, would always be stuck there, in the body of that wretched child, _Edogawa Conan_. Maybe he should have never taken the chance of death and returned to his body. He had been someone then, he had friends that _needed_ him in the form of the Detective Boys, he could have had a whole new start like how Haibara had decided to. But he had clung to the belief that once he was _Kudou Shinichi_ again, everything would return to normal. It had only been a foolish and childish dream. The world had continued for almost three years and changed without him, no one needed him anymore.

And how he yearned to be just _needed_ by one person. He had grown to believe that Kaito could be that friend, but apparently he had been nothing but a means to waste time, nothing more than anyone else.

His legs started to shake, and he would have crumbled to the floor had he not been leaning all his weight on the cane. He should have left there and then, walked out of the magician's life for good so he could move on to someone better and Shinichi would just throw his life into his police work, as it had become apparent that was the only thing the world required of him. But instead, he was rooted to the floor, waiting for the oncoming train to run him over.

"I'm so sorry that the kiss ever happened–" Kaito continued, barely audible above the rushing of his blood, and Shinichi clenched his eyes close waiting for the inevitable words to come hissing out of the magician's mouth. Despite against everything Shinichi had done, Kaito was nothing but nice and sympathetic, and it cut painfully into his chest for the pity he imagined shinning in Kaito's features if he dared take a look.

" – and I'm in love with you."

There was a moment of silence after the outburst. Shinichi's eyes opened slowly, his breath hitching in his throat as his lungs forgot how to function. For a second, he wondered if Kaito was cruel after all and was lying to him. The idea evaporated a second later as he saw the raw emotion on the magician's face.

There was nothing but horror – over letting the words escape his lips – and trembling fear that Shinichi would turn and walk away there and then without a single word in reply.

Shinichi's mouth dried up and his tongue felt thick in his mouth as his mind had shattered into a thousand chaotic pieces. There was something in the magician's face that told the detective that he was telling the naked truth, and his heart fluttered in surprise and confusion. _Love? Kaito loved him?_ The very idea felt ludicrous and wrong – how could Kaito ever love _him?_ They had barely been acquainted for a little under a year – the two years as Kaitou KID and Edogawa Conan did not count as they had never tried being anything but adversaries in their game of cat and mouse.

"But –"

He stuttered out his confusion. It felt unreal that someone as amazing and witty as Kaito could ever love someone like him. Someone broken and emotionally constipated. Someone carrying so much baggage to cripple any possibly romantic relationship. He had been perfectly fine just having him as a best friend for the remainder of his life.

Kaito let out a hollow laugh, and his eyes were empty and filled with self-loath as he raked his hand through his hair. "I know – I'm a guy, and you are not attracted to men. Typical me to be born the wrong gender," he tried a small grin to lift up the dark and gloomy atmosphere over them, but it fell flat as Kaito looked be ready to cry.

"There is –" Shinichi swallowed thickly, the magician's words finally producing a startled reaction from the detective as he suddenly realized why Kaito looked so desolate and lost. "There is nothing wrong with you being a guy," he managed to finish his sentence in his rush, his heart fluttering in his chest, remembering Kaito's fear of being pushed away all those weeks ago when he finally confessed his sexuality to Shinichi. He had never minded, not one bit, and the fact Kaito seemed disappointed and crestfallen at the fact made his heart ache for different reasons. He felt rather out of sync, as if the two of them were currently having two completely different conversations. One where Kaito thought Shinichi hated him for certain aspects of the whole ordeal, and vice versa.

It was then Shinichi realized how true his words rang: he had not been freaking out over the repulsion of kissing someone of the same gender – rather he had been more worried over the fact that it had been _Kaito_. The realization that the thought had not even registered before should have sent is stomach into a turmoil. He had never considered in the past whether he could be attracted to someone of the same gender before – it was topic that had never been applicable before now, and so it had never crossed his mind to contemplate the possibility.

The clear look on the magician's face indicated that the issue of Shinichi's perceived sexuality was one of the reasons he thought Shinichi was avoiding him.

Shinichi suddenly staggered as confusion washed through him, if Kaito thought the detective was mad at him, and he thought the same of the magician. Then where exactly did they stand in the grand scheme of things? In whose corner stood the naked truth? He was lost for words, lost on how to react, and Kaito did not let slip his emotions through his flat expression.

Not knowing what else to do, he held out his hand. Kaito went taut for a brief moment, his eyes flickering across Shinichi's in a scrutinizing gaze, whatever he found on the detective's features, Shinichi did not know. Hesitantly, he took a step towards Shinichi, almost as though he was afraid the detective would change his mind and bolt if he made any sudden movements.

It felt like an eternity before Kaito finally stepped into touching distance – though it probably had only lasted for scant seconds. The magician reached out slowly to grasp his fingers gently around Shinichi's outstretched hand. The tips of his fingers felt light and wavering as though he was expecting to be seared any moment now. As their skin touched, a jolt of warmth crackled across Shinichi's skin from the impact.

"Shinichi?" Kaito spoke with a soft voice as he peered through the fringes of his hair, and the detective was suddenly struck again with the repeated thought of how beautiful the magician was.

Shinichi curled his fingers around Kaito's grip and suddenly yanked him forwards – Kaito followed willingly, and he could clearly see when he stopped breathing as hope and fear swam in his eyes. The detective's heart fluttered in a mixture of panic and anticipation. He was not sure what he was doing, or what thoughts followed the action.

He reflected on what he felt towards Kaito. Was he physical attracted to him? Anyone could appreciate Kaito's good looks. What about romantic attraction? He acknowledged how his heart tend to speed up whenever they were close, or when Kaito would give that one special smile that he knew the magician only sent in his direction. He enjoyed Kaito's presence immensely, had never met anyone who could keep up with him in both wits and intellectual. Shinichi always looked forward to spending time with him again, and he could not imagine continuing on with his life without Kaito by his side.

Shinichi let go of his cane, and it rattled across the floor as gravity took hold. He ignored the protest of his bad leg at the sudden loss of stability, and he reached out his now free hand to Kaito's neck, letting his fingers brush against the soft hair, and a visible shiver shuddered through the magician. The detective leaned their foreheads together and his eyes drifted close at the sudden proximity.

Kaito's breath ghosted across Shinichi's cheek. His heart fluttered again like a thousand wild butterflies had just burst out of him. He felt utterly at peace right now, as though he had finally come home from the war. _Edogawa Conan_ vanished from his mind for the last time. Just maybe, if he could have this, then everything that had happened for the last two years since the fall of the black organisation would finally be fixed and he would stop living with the _what if's._

" _Kaito_ ," his voice came out almost inaudible and just as a puff of air. "Of course I would never mind what gender you were, you daft moron. When have I ever cared for what is perceived as morally right or unethical in our society? Love can never be wrong or inappropriate."

He could feel Kaito's hesitant and hopeful expression even with his eyes closed, and through the link of their clasped palms, Shinichi could feel the magician shaking slightly. "You don't hate me?"

A soft chuckle bobbled in his throat and escaped as a puff of warm air. "It's impossible to hate you. Wouldn't be able to even if I tried." Shinichi let his eyes drift open, and was met with the sight of a Kaito's eyes glittering with warmth and humour. A smile twitched on his lips – and the detective could swear Kaito could hear the strong hammering of Shinichi's heart. A warmth tingled through him – the day had already gone in a different direction that he had thought – or unconsciously hoped it would go. The possibility of happy ending had never occurred to him even once.

He did not know how he felt towards the magician for certain. If someone had asked him a week ago he would have brushed them off as a bad joke. But now? At one point the last ten months, Kaito had become the most important person in his life. The thought of losing him was terrifying – he had been an utter mess the last week when he believed that he had.

What action should he take now? He recognized that the ball was in his corner. The magician had opened up and poured his heart out, and it was up to Shinichi to decide what happened next. Suddenly, the tension and stress drained out of him and exhaustion settled into his bones as he sagged forwards. Immediately warm hands wrapped around him, keeping him upright.

A small smile twitched on Shinichi's lips as he realized something he had never noticed before. Kaito had always been there to catch him – be it being thrown out of a blimp or staggering for different reasons, the magician had never hesitated. And where Shinichi had approach the idea of forming a friendship with Kaito with reluctance, the magician had gone in with his heart on his sleeve, taking the risk of being turned away for his efforts.

Kuroba Kaito was an extraordinary person. He was everything Shinichi was not. He had been able to leave his past in the past and managed to gaze forwards and form connections with new people as he smiled his way through life. He might still have cracks in his soul but he was healing, and suddenly Shinichi wanted that with all his heart. He wanted to be _whole_ again, to interact with the world rather than watching from the side lines. And to do it with Kaito by his side.

"Don't leave me."

He did not notice he had spoken with such desperation until Kaito tighten his grip around the detective as he murmured his reply into his hair – he had fully understood the true meaning behind Shinichi's anguish.

 _"_ _Never."_

This time, when Shinichi tilted his head to brush his lips against Kaito's, the kiss was soft and sweet and without urgency. He sighed into the kiss. His heart fluttered with a warmth he had never let himself analyse the meaning off, and the thought ' _finally home'_ echoed in his head. He was finally on the road to recovery, and this time he would not be alone – and he could finally let himself fall in love with someone completely. The one thing he had been craving for so long: to belong.

"Is that my shirt you are wearing?" he murmured against the lips as they came up for air, his fingers curling into the fabric of the magician's shirt. He could feel the grin spread across Kaito's features, and his voice was lit with giddiness and tenderness when he responded. The arms around Shinichi tightened its grip to convey a double meaning of his words.

"Finders keepers, _Meitantei."_

…

 ** _The end, until next time._**


End file.
